Deviant Ardor

[o2 : Missing]

[Devilry city; the Palacio Rosa estate]

Waking with a violent shudder, Imani panted while struggling to ground themselves.

Where am I?

The scent of burning wood was in the air along with the soft crackling of a fire.

Their breath shaking, Imani settled into their plush surrounding comforts. If this was death, or a dream, they would accept itt, feeling no pull or desire to leave.

What began as a single tear quickly turned to streams from both eyes, and, before long, Imani had their hands over their face as they broke down.

It was only when they heard a knock at the door that they pulled themselves together.

Imani kept their eyes closed and listened as the footsteps approached; strong over the hardwood floor, and quiet over the carpet. From somewhere close in the room, a chair was settled into. However, the occupant was patient, allowing Imani time to calm on their own. Not until Imani sniffled and wiped at their face did their company move again, coming to the bed to lay a monogrammed handkerchief across Imani’s lap.

“I’m sorry,” Imani managed, using the handkerchief to wipe their face.

“What for?” came the stranger's voice; smooth, confident and without cruelty.

“I–I don’t know where I am,” Imani stammered, keeping the handkerchief over their eyes.

“Well, you’re in my home. You were found in the woods that line my property.” He was quiet for a minute, watching Imani as he carefully considered his approach. “I’m Elias. And I would like the pleasure of knowing your name in return.” He kept his tone reassuring as he returned to the chair.

“Imani,” they breathed, their body hitching slightly as their voice caught in their throat.

“Imani?” He said the name and nodded slowly. “It’s very nice to meet you, considering the circumstances… They’re dangerous, you know; the woods about here. Not all the wooded areas, but the denser woods are. Surely your parents told you stories about the dangers of the dense woods? You, at least, look young enough that such stories shouldn’t be completely lost to you.”

Imani was silent.

He sighed. “Alright… Then, might I at least ask what you were doing out there, alone in the middle of the night?”

Imani remained silent, wondering just how honest they should be with this stranger.

In the end, Imani decided it best to be completely transparent. After all, they had nothing else to offer the man who'd unexpectedly opened up his home to them, offering his hospitality. With nowhere else to go, their only other choice was to go back the way the'd come, and admit defeat.

“I ran away.”

“Ran away? Why?”

“Because my grandparents want me to choose between two lives that I don’t want. They’re pressuring me to make a final decision before my eighteenth birthday.”

“A decision on your way of life? As in, your choice of profession? I’m afraid I don’t quite understand.”

Avoiding Elias’s eyes, Imani locked their attention on the handkerchief in their hands, their fingers wringing it tight.

Here it was, the moment of true introduction, and the hardest thing for Imani to explain to anyone that they met or knew. More often than not, it didn’t go well, people never seemed to react in the best way to their explanation of themselves. It complicated things, and people typically distanced themselves after learning the truth, or they developed a disturbing fascination. Unsure if they could bear such a blatant rejection in such an enclosed space, Imani began to shake as panic set in.

“Breathe,” Elias instructed. “Don’t worry, you’re safe here.”

Taking a breath, Imani calmed down. Closing their eyes, they took another deep breath and nodded. “I’m…a complicated person,” Imani began. “First by birth, then by choice.”

Smiling, Elias’s thick, dark brow piqued with curiosity. “Truly? Forgive my skepticism, but, countless individuals claim the very same about themselves every day, when, in truth, they are as average as you or I, using it as an as an explanation or justification for their feeling overwhelmed.”

Imani glared at Elias, unable to hide their frustration.

Elias chuckled and raised his hand in surrender. “Please, allow me to explain. Everyone has their baggage, that goes without saying. But, typically–most often when we're young–we perceive our baggage to be much heavier than it truly is. Do you understand?”

Imani sneered, irritated with Elias's patronizing tone. “Yes. I’m not stupid. And it’s not–I’m not dramatizing my problems.”

“Alright, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. What could possibly be so complicated for one as young as yourself?”

Watching Elias, Imani sighed as they let their temper soften. “Before I answer that, I want to know how you see me.”

“Hm? What do you mean?”

“When you look at me, other than young, what else do you see?” Imani smiled. “Humor me. Please?”

Elias looked Imani over, studying them. His chin on his hand, he couldn’t help but smile. He would happily play this game. “I see a beautiful youth of a boy who is unintentionally charming. And, if I might be so bold in my assumptions, perhaps a little confused in his sexuality.” He paused to consider his assumptions. “Hmm, is that it? Is that the complication? The struggle to ‘fight your unnatural urges,’ for fear of disappointing your parents?”

Feeling the heat of their blushing rise in their face, Imani sighed and averted their eyes. “Okay, yes with the parents, but, there’s more to it than that.”

He chuckled. “More?”

Imani’s lip curled at Elias’s amusement, though they smiled just the same. “Of course! I told you I’m complicated!” They laughed a little, a feeble attempt to calm their nerves. “But, you are right about my being confused about my sexuality. Though, that’s only because I don’t fit into any typical mold. I know what I feel, but I don’t know where I–fit” They shrugged. “It’s like you said, I’m a pretty-boy, sure,” they said with a scoff while rolling their eyes. “But, I’m also a dashing-dame. I’m intersexual.”

Imani looked up to see the last of the mirth leave Elias’s expression, and they stiffened as they felt that uncomfortably familiar lump as it began to grow in the hollow of their throat. There it was, the change. This was how it would always start as people’s views began to shift.

“But, honestly, I’m happy with it! I mean, sure, I’m awkward in social situations–always worrying whether people will be kind once they know, or…” Imani swallowed hard, still watching for any more change in his expression. “My grandparents want me to choose: daughter, or son, and they’ll pay, in full, for any surgery, or whatever, that I’ll need.” Imani frantically shook their head. “But I don’t want that! I don’t want to change! I want to stay the way I am, the way I’m most comfortable.” Their eyes falling to the handkerchief in their hands, Imani smiled softly. “I enjoy my androgyny. I like that if I’m feeling masculine one day, I can present as masculine. And I like that if I’m feeling flirty and feminine, I can play that up as I like. I like that, as far as my gender goes, I can come across as a complete mystery. I don’t want to choose one or the other. I don’t want to be a husband, or a wife… I just want to be.”

The room was still for a long time, with only the sound of the crackling fire breaking the silence.

Imani hated the weight of the silence and the way it twisted their stomach and made them feel sick. They could feel Elias’s eyes on them, scrutinizing.

Unable to take it any longer, Imani breathed, “Say something,” their voice quiet and weak. “Say anything. Please. Tell me you want me to leave, or that my family is right. I can’t take this silence, not knowing what you’re thinking.”

Shifting in his seat, Elias looked lost in thought as he mulled over everything he’d been told. “It’s quite the dilemma, indeed. They want you to decide, so that they can correct the mistake…”

Imani winced at his use of ‘mistake,’ and his emphasis on it.

Elias shifted his approach, allowing a ring of curiosity to his otherwise serious tone. “How would you prefer to live?”

Imani hesitated to respond. “I…don’t know. No one’s ever asked me before. So I never thought about it.”

The two fell silent again. However, as the silence became too much for Imani again, they spoke first.

“I’m sorry for crashing your home. I’ll leave–right now, if you want. The last thing I want is to be a nuisance.”

Elias’s shrugged. “If not a pest in my home, then whose?”

Confused, Imani looked up to see him smiling.

“I assume you have nowhere else to go?”

Imani made a face.

“Well, for the time being, at least, it seems you’ve found a bed, and somewhere to rest, warm and safe, to recover from the unexpected cold.”

Curious, Imani took in the extravagance of the room; the ornate crown molding, the gilt wallpaper, and the plush rug that stretched out beneath the grand bed. Imani was unabashedly in awe of it all. “This room is… Where am I?”

He smiled. “Palacio Rosa. Well, the guest house. It was easiest to bring you here, as opposed to taking you up to the main house.” For the second time, all humor left his expression, leaving him solemn. “You were frozen and half dead when they found you. I had a doctor come to take a look at you. To make sure that you would make it through alright.” His smile returned then, warmer than the fire. “You slept sound through an entire day. And, I admit, it did worry me, but I was assured that that was to be expected.”

Imani frowned. “An entire day? I’ve lost an entire day?”

He nodded, watching Imani carefully. “Yes. I can only imagine how famished you must be. And I’m sure your family must be quite concerned.”

Imani shrugged at his statement. “I’m sure they are. I should call them, or something… But I don't have your family name, or know where exactly here is.”

Amused, Elias examined Imani’s expression. “You really don’t know who I am, do you?”

Imani’s brow raised and the corner of their mouth curled. “Should I know you? Did I maybe meet you before through my mother?”

Laughing, Elias shook his head. “No, we haven’t met before. But that’s good. It gives me the opportunity to make a genuine first impression on someone.”

“So far, so good, I suppose,” Imani said with mild humor as, for the first time since their waking, they took a good look at themselves. “And, my clothes?” Lifting their arm, Imani admired the cuff on the pajama sleeve. Beneath the covers, they could feel the silk of the pajama bottoms around their legs.

“Your things are being cleaned and taken care of. I trust that what you’ve been put in is alright? It was a hasty decision. You were frozen to the bone, and couldn’t be kept in what you were wearing–Though, make no mistake, I had no hand in changing you.” Still smiling, Elias was quick to raise his hand again to fend off any accusations. “Your care was seen to by Amelia alone. I trust her with everything here, including dinner. Which, seeing that you’re awake, perhaps you’d like to join me for a little something to fill your stomach?”

Feeling their stomach growl, Imani nodded. “I could stand to eat, I think.”

“Good, then it’s settled.” He gestured to the back of his chair and the floor next to the bed. “There’s a robe and slippers for you here. The slippers may or may not fit, and, if they don’t, I apologize. Ill prepared for company, after all.” Elias chuckled as he rose from the chair and straightened his shirt before starting towards the door. “Take your time. Give yourself time to acclimate. And, if I don’t see or hear from you in, say, fifteen minutes or so, I’ll take that as your need to have your dinner brought to you.”

?

Emerging from the bedroom, Imani could see movements beyond the hall, and could hear Elias’s familiar voice speaking to another.

Self-conscious, Imani pulled at the simple pajama set, shaking out the pants that clung to their legs as they walked. Imani was painfully aware of every aspect of their being that was touched by the loose silk.

Imani stood and listened as the two men spoke quietly amongst themselves. Elias, his back to Imani, held a glass of dark liquor in his hand, while the other man, a copy of Elias, but different, sat at attention across from Elias on the couch, speaking too quietly for Imani to understand.

Not wanting to eavesdrop, Imani cleared their throat to announce themselves, only for the other man–the not-Elias–to stand and meet Imani's eyes.

From his chair, Elias glanced over his shoulder and waved Imani over with his empty hand. “Come and join me,” he said. “You have a meal waiting here for you. And we have a lot more to discuss.”

The other man stepped aside, offering Imani his seat. He let Imani to sit before speaking again. “So, we continue as planned, then?”

Taking a sip from his glass, Elias was slow to nod his head. “We’ll continue as planned. I still have my pickup to make, nothing will change that.” He shifted his focus to Imani and smiled. “Minor adjustments will have to be made, that goes without saying. But it’s nothing we can’t handle.”

“And Rowen?”

“Rowen… I’ll deal with my son soon enough, once I’ve settled this small adjustment.” Elias smiled at his brother. “But, if you don’t mind a final task tonight? Make another sweep of the grounds. Make sure there’s no one else.” He sighed, looking annoyed as he clinched his jaw. “And have the groundskeeper salt the paths. I swear, there’s nothing worse than spiteful frost-fae in autumn.”

The rugged man smirked at his brother’s annoyance, but acceptance the task. “Of course.” He stole a last look at Imani before leaving guesthouse.

With his brother gone, Elias stood just enough to pull the small serving cart before Imani, lifting the cloche and setting it aside.

Imani smiled at the personal serving of shepherd's pie. Picking up the spoon, they happily began to eat.

“So, I have a first name for you, and a few choice details about your personal plight… We'll begin, then, with a last name.”

Imani frowned. “St. James. Imani St. James.”

Elias reached into his pocket for his cell to scroll and search as they talked. “St. James… Is that your mother’s name?”

Imani shook their head, then hesitated. “Sort of. It’s the name she took on to distance herself from our family.”

“And your cousins; Kaius and Aniyah?”

Imani coughed as they suddenly choked on their food. “What?”

He turned his phone for Imani to see. “They seem ordinary enough.”

“You found my families social media…”

“Yes. Well, yours, specifically. It wasn’t difficult.” He smiled. “The younger generation does enjoy sharing every small milestone in their lives, for better or for worse.”

Imani nodded, unable to argue that fact.

“So, Imani St. James. What was your plan once you were away? And, if I might ask, where exactly did you take off from? We aren’t exactly in a densely populated area. And it was to everyone's surprise here that we found you at all, much less dressed formally as you were.”

Imani picked up the glass of water to drink. “We were at Black Thorn estate for a party.” Imani frowned. “My family is probably out of their mind wondering where I am by now…”

“Yes. It seems they’ve already put out a missing persons alert for you.”

Imani’s mouth twisted at the realization. “You aren’t going to tell them that I’m here, are you?”

“Of course I am. I have to. You're a minor, after all.”

Imani set down their glass and sank back into the couch. Suddenly, they felt sick to their stomach.

“Imani…”

“I know. I don’t know why I thought running away would be easy. I mean, running was kind of the easy part. I’m just–terrified.”

“Of what?”

“Of going back and being forced into a part alongside someone I didn’t know or have genuine interest in.”

“And, have you expressed this to them?”

“Yeah, but, if I don’t accept, then the only other option is disownment. Which, I guess, is what I’ve done to myself by running off.”

“Perhaps. Though, taking off through the woods wasn’t the best thought-out plan. You’re very lucky that my brother and my security found you in time.”

“Yeah–which, thank you for that. Really, I should have waited until I was back home to take off. But, I was so upset. And my cousin...” Imani's voice trailed off as their mind mulled over a thought before settling their eyes on Elias again. “You said your guard found me. You still haven’t told me exactly who you are. Just that you’re happy to finally make a–genuine introduction?”

Elias smiled and bowed his head. “Elias Suveren. And it’s been an interesting pleasure meeting you.”

Imani was quiet for a time, letting the name sink in.

After a few silent moments, Imani gasped and threw a hand over their mouth as everything suddenly clicked. “Oh... Oh!”

His brow raised, Elias tried to assess Imani’s response. “Is this a good ‘oh,’ or bad?”

Imani was shaking. “Terrified! I’m terrified, and panicked, and sorry–”

“Sorry?”

“I didn’t mean to intrude, Mister Suveren, Sir! I didn't intend on bothering your sovereignty!”

“Sovereignty?” He frowned and shook his head. “And you didn’t intrude, you were brought into my home. It was of the utmost importance that we keep you alive. It would have been inhumane to have left you out there.”

Imani wrung their hands in their lap. “The last thing I ever wanted was to be a bother to the Syndicate. My family always warned that there was nothing worse than to evoke their ire. It’s why I try to keep a low profile...”

Elias considered everything Imani was struggling to say. “Exactly what ire or wrath do you think would befall you at my hand?”

Imani thought for a moment before shrugging. “Our family never told us that part. Except for–”

“Yes…”

“Except…that the Syndicate is made up of kidnappers and traders…”

Elias laughed. “Kidnappers, huh? And what are we said to do with those we’ve kidn*pped?”

Hearing Elias’s amusement, Imani couldn’t help but relax a little. “I don’t know! Honestly, I don’t know anything about the Syndicate. Just that I should be afraid, and stay away from its brothels.”

Elias raised a brow. “And what do you know of our founder, Agrat?”

Imani thought on it, relaxing more. “Next to nothing, really. Just that she’s the founder of the Deviants of Ardor Syndicate as a whole.”

Elias nodded thoughtfully. “And do you understand why?”

Imani shook their head again.

Elias gestured for Imani to eat while he explained. “She's called the Queen of Demons by many; said to have made mates of angels, demons and humans alike. Revered for her exquisite beauty, and how she exudes great power when she speaks which quickly gained her notoriety as the very embodiment of fire and passion.

“She was a p********e, make no mistake on that, but she's also cunning. For every being she took to her bed, she gained knowledge, wealth and influence, all of which she poured back into this nation, wanting only to add to the nation's prosperity. She used her inhuman whiles to put her lovers at ease and, in a sense, loosen their lips.” He smirked. “And, over time, she took in others of the fairer blood, teaching them how to use their own gifts towards the integrity of our realm. Those of us who adhere to her beliefs, the givers of pleasure and secret council, are the Deviants of Ardor.

“As Deviants, we firmly believe that pleasure runs deep, and can draw out one's truest self. Pleasure isn’t meant to be denied. It's a gift. A release. Pleasure of the physical isn’t just to ease the body, but also the mind and the soul. Do you understand?”

“I think so,” Imani muttered, thinking. “So the Syndicate is organized p**********n?”

Elias chuckled. “I suppose so, from the most basic perspective. But, tell me, what do you think of when you hear the word's brothel, or p********e? Honestly.”

Imani took another moment to think. “I… I don’t want to offend you.”

“You aren’t going to offend me if you’re honest. Just be honest with me. I humored you before, please, indulge me in return.”

Imani pushed at their food with their spoon. “When I think of brothels, from what little my uncle has said about them, I think of–dirty places, lit with red lights all over… Women in skimpy, silky things, making lewd comments to men as they stand in doorways.” Imani felt their cheeks get hot, and they were afraid to look up, not wanting to see the disappointment in Elias’s expression.

He smiled. “That’s…a common misconception. And an easy way to put fear in the minds of the impressionable youth. Especially when, in truth, it’s a lot more discreet than your parents, and others of their mental ilk, would have you believe.”

“So then…no women just standing in doorways cat-calling men?”

Elias laughed. “Hardly. In fact, I’ll simplify it this way; considering your mother's work, when she sees a client about their work, does she speak to them out in the open, or does she take them into her office?”

“Her office, of course!” Imani blurted, almost offended.

Amused, Elias nodded. “It’s the same for any Deviant that’s called upon. Some have a separate room within their home dedicated to their services, while others work within a brothel.” He chuckled. “Contrary to what your family has told you, Imani, you won’t find lovers shamelessly pawing at each other throughout the streets of Sardius. At least, no more than you might see anywhere else.

Imani could only laugh at Elias’ good humor and their own naïveté, shaking their head as they took another bite from their meal. “I feel so dumb,” Imani confessed. “In the rare times you were ever mentioned in our house, my uncle talked about you with such–malice. I just always pictured some sleazy looking, degenerate, glorified pimp.”

Stunned to silence, Elias eyed Imani as he heard the words roll off their tongue with such unabashed ease. When finally his senses came back to him, Elias massaged at his brow with his fingertips, chuckling quietly. “My god… Well, I did ask for honesty.”

Still holding their spoon, Imani threw their hand back over their mouth again in a last-ditch effort of self-preservation, whimpering through their clamped fingers a panicked, “Sorry!”

Bemused by the outspoken youth–insulted, but still amused–Elias shook his head. “No, don’t apologize. I asked for your honesty. Just didn’t expect to get it in spades.” Lifting his drink to his lips, he took a long, overdue draw from the glass, finally emptying it. “Make no mistake, I would always rather you be brutally honest with me in any situation, Imani. So long as you’re honest, you have nothing to fear from me.” Setting down his glass, Elias brought up his phone to check the reason for his phone’s sudden ping. Taking a few moments, he carefully read over the email he’d just received. “Hmm, an interesting, though, not so surprising, turn of events.”

Imani frowned, concerned. “Is something wrong?”

Giving only the slightest shake of his head, Elias began to type his response. “No. Nothing is the matter. But, your family would like to come and fetch you tomorrow.”

Stunned, Imani fell back into the seat again. “What? Why?”

“Because you’re their child, Imani. And, until you reach your majority, or a legal contract of emancipation is put into place, you are their blood to take home and care for as they see fit.”

Their jaw falling slack, Imani shook their head. “No! Please, I can’t go back to them or that lack of a life”

“Imani, you’re being dramatic…”

“They’ll mutilate me!” Imani screamed, unable to contain themselves. “They’ll tear me apart to make me fit their psychotic needs! They’ll kill me! It will kill me!”

Elias was quiet, listening and watching. He could see the pain in Imani’s eyes. Hear it in their voice. Feel it as their voice reverberated throughout the room.

Getting up from his chair, he rounded the coffee table, just to drop himself onto the couch next to Imani. He reached to rub at their back to sooth them. “If, when you reach your majority, and if things are still as bad as you perceive them to be now, then you can seek me out again.” He smiled. “You aren’t an easy one to forget. I’ll remember you. Do you think you can do that?”

Shell-shocked and shaking from head to toe, Imani didn’t answer.

“I’m sorry that it’s not what you wanted to hear, but… You must understand how my hands are tied in this situation. You aren’t in any danger, at least, not by your own words. You’re in perfect health, and you have a family with a considerable reputation to go home to. By law, there is nothing that I can do to ease your upset. And, for that, I am most sorry.”

With a heavy sigh, Elias moved to press his spine into the back of the couch, watching Imani’s back as he could still see them trembling while taking only the most shallow of breaths. It pained him to see one so young in such distress, knowing there was nothing that he could do to relieve their fear or unease.

“The guest house is yours to enjoy for the night. Amelia will be stationed here with you for the night, should you need anything.” Raising from the couch, Elias started for the door.

As Elias moved, Imani watched with wide eyes as their last source of comfort walked away from them. “Where are you going?”

“To the main house. To my room. Tomorrow is a big day for the both of us. You’ll be going home, and I will go on to tend to the business I’m here to tend to.” He smiled, a simple gesture that was filled with so much warmth and good will. “Get some sleep, Imani. I promise, things won’t seem so terrible in the morning… Goodnight.”

Imani watched the door until he pulled it closed behind himself, leaving them alone. They felt sick, drawing their legs onto the couch and their knees to their chest, wanting to just melt away.

Their family. Imani frowned. Even worse, Aniyah would more than likely be with them, just for the fun of tormenting Imani.

Stomach turning, Imani reached to put the cloche back over the dish, suddenly not so hungry anymore. They sat in silence for a while, eyes open, but seeing nothing at all. They were desperate for a solution, for another way out. A way that couldn’t be disputed.

Frustrated, Imani ran their fingers through and pulled at their hair.

It had been so easy for Elias to find out everything he needed to know about them and their family with just a simple search.

Imani screamed.

“f*****g socials screwed me!” Picking up Elias’s empty glass, Imani threw it across the room, shattering it against the wall.

Next time they would do better; better planning, with an actual escape route, and any basics they could manage to pack away for themselves before taking off. And, next time, there would be no more short-cuts through the woods.