Kam Ha kee

4.Jew

Back at Hopkins Medical School, I faced the various experimental instruments that had been with me for four years, and suddenly I felt such hatred and revulsion. If these four years, I am with you by your side, then you will not go with only the meager memory of my bitterness. I wanted to kill myself with remorse.

I stopped going to the lab and sat in my apartment all day.

Until one day, Professor rubinstein dragged me out and drove me to sidneykimmel Cancer Center, which is affiliated with the college. This is the earliest established cancer oncology research and treatment center in the United States and the top in the world, and it is also the place where I do clinical trials and observations as usual.

We arrived at the terminal leukemia section, walking through the wards and corridors I used to know so well.

rubinstein didn't talk to me, I just stood over him and watched as he asked about the patients, chatted with them, joked with them.

They are patients with advanced leukemia, and they are the only ones who have been approved by the fda (US Food and Drug Administration) to use the latest experimental drugs and therapies in human trials on them, with the patient's consent. They're all waiting for death, or a miracle.

Over the years, I spent long hours at their side, helping them test new treatments, observing their reactions, and taking blood and bone marrow for analysis.

But standing here today, I have a different feeling. I look at the calm or depressed faces of the patients, and the happy faces of their friends and relatives in front of them, and the grief of their backs. None of this has ever felt so strongly and truly to me. The pain and suffering I felt before and after your death came pouring out again, so that I could hardly stand.

When we got back to rubinstein's office in the hospital, he pushed me, my feet quivering, into the chair and sat down across from me. "The relatives and friends of those patients just had the same situation as you. You used to have only a shadow of yourself in mind, so when you face patients, you think only about trials and data. Their joy and sorrow can enter your eyes, but not your heart. Love is very important, but it can not be the fulcrum of a person's life. Treating every patient who needs help is the mind of a true doctor."

I watched his image change from clear to blurry before my eyes, and then, before him, for the first time in my life, I allowed myself to burst into tears.

So my work continued, still long hours and hard hours, but not as hard as before. I began to rest and work out, started to socialize properly, and started to feel the good things in my life that I had left behind - except love.

When I was 20 years old, I discovered that hematopoietic stem cell transplantation, an alternative to bone marrow transplantation, increased the survival rate of transplant patients from 30 percent to 60 percent. Overnight, I became a genius and celebrity in the world of hematology.

My mother died peacefully after feeling pride and joy for her son's achievements.

At the age of 22, I finally synthesized immunoglobulins that could replicate themselves in the human body, thus inhibiting the malignant growth of white blood cells. From now on, patients with myeloid and lymphocytic leukaemia can be cured with an injection of an immune protein combined with a mild chemical radiation treatment. Leukemia is no longer called a terminal disease.

After the initial excitement passed, I was left with feelings and helplessness - I finally got what I wanted, but it was three years too late, and I couldn't save you.

I received the hippocrates Award for Medicine the following year, and many other honors followed.

That same year, my father died. At this time into Bi has long been married to Europe, home only Wei aunt and a maid.

I declined an offer to stay at Hopkins, as well as offers from other colleges and research institutions, and after putting the finishing touches on Hopkins, I returned to my home in Beijing.

Before I left, I went to say goodbye to Professor rubinstein. The two of us drank and talked in his cluttered apartment from afternoon until late at night. We talked about work, politics, where we had the best view, which restaurant had the best food, railing against the college's fame-hunting villains, laughing at some cheesy movie.

When it was time to leave, he walked me to the door. I turned around, looked at him, made a deep bow, and then said: "Thank you, teacher."

He patted his hand on my arm, bowed his head for a moment, and said, "I have no wife or children." Work has always been everything to me. But if I had a son, I'd want him to be like you." He stepped forward and embraced me, then let go and turned his face away: "Come on, come on. If I don't leave now, I'm afraid you'll take my job, and my lab will really have to change its name."

Many years later, I still remember his figure at that moment. His gray hair was reflected in the dim light, and his normally straight back looked stooped. By this time, he was no longer rudolphrubinstein, the hard-nosed, hot-headed, straight-talking, aggrieved professor of seismology. He's just a regular lonely old man. His figure under the lamp will be firmly engraved in my memory, because this figure has given me important guidance in the bottleneck of my research, has listened to my wild and bitter love in the quiet night, and led me out of the narrow world and into the sky of the sea.

I set up my own experimental center in China, used the patent of the immunoglobulin I invented to establish a pharmaceutical factory, and bought some hospitals in various places that were not operating well, and built a national chain of general hospitals - Kang Ze. The following year, I was accepted as a life member of the Swedish Academy of Medicine and became a member of the organizing committee of the school.

My work is still intense and laborious. I will supervise the progress and direction of the research projects for new drugs and therapies in the experimental center; To monitor the commercial operations of hospitals and pharmaceutical factories; He is also responsible for part of the academic and administrative work of the Swedish Medical School. The process and results of the work let me enjoy and gratify, it takes up a lot of my time.

Gradually, I miss you less, and the pain that drove me crazy when I first lost you has faded. But in the middle of the night, I still see you.

All the attentions of the warblers in front of me only made me tired. With the limited rest time I have left after all my work and socializing, I prefer to stay at home. Here, there are all the memories of my love with you.

Your dying request was to remove all traces of you from my life. The letter diary can be burned, and your life and death can also not mention, but you have integrated into the image of my bones and blood, how to peel it off

I don't mean to be single for you, because nobody wants to be alone. But when you're gone, how can I love a dead heart again

Our time together is so short, but the thoughts you leave me will last forever.