Behind the Mask

25. I’ve got you

Mel

The rest of the day passed in a blur, Maximus was always following me from far away like some sort of shadow. I knew he meant to protect me and it brought me some sort of reassurance. 

I was afraid for my babies, I still remembered the pain those nasty mages caused me thirty years ago and I didn’t want to face it ever again. It felt like being engulfed by my biggest fear.

Fear, that was their weapon. They played with our minds and hearts and made the darkest and most vulnerable parts of our beings expand and overtake, consume everything else, to the point that we were only fear, only pain. 

“Let’s go, Melinda,” I heard Maximus' deep voice behind me as soon as the games came to an end for today.

I swallowed hard and turned to look at him, “I have to fetch some clothes and objects.” 

“I’m going with you, I don’t want to leave you unprotected,” he told me and I responded with a nod. 

After I packed my belongings, we flashed to his villa. Maximus took my bag in his hand and started walking to his room, but I stopped him.

“We are not a couple, Maximus. I’m doing it to protect the babies, we shouldn’t be together.” 

He sighed sharply and spun around, his amber eyes looking a tad dull.  

“We have to cosleep, to avoid mate withdrawal,” he said. 

“I know, but we don’t have to do it every night, once in a while is fine, especially now that we are close,” I replied.

He nodded, lowering his gaze. His sad expression made my heart clench, but I knew that I shouldn't allow those gorgeous sad eyes to melt my resolve. I had to protect my heart, myself. 

I knew that he cared about me and suffered too, it was clear in the memories he shared with us, but at this point, it wasn’t enough. I couldn’t accept crumbles of love anymore. 

I was at such a point that I needed every single drop of love or nothing at all. 

He silently walked to one of the many guest rooms and I followed him. Maximus placed my bag over an accent table and turned to look at me. 

“Melinda, I am deeply sorry for everything, for the secrets and the time,” he exhaled deeply. 

I knew he was sorry, he has said so many times already. But being apologetic wouldn’t correct every mistake and heal the aching scars in my soul. 

“I know, Maximus. We should try to make it as good as possible for our babies. This is what matters the most now.” 

“Yes, they are what matter the most, but you too, Melinda,” he replied and turned to leave the room. But before he crossed the doorway she looked at me, “If you want to see me, just call. I will always be available for you,” he husked, sending a shiver down my spine. 

Desire, warmth, and confusion were the feelings his voice and his words evocated. 

I laid on the bed and sighed deeply, thoughts and memories flashing in my mind. How many times did I want to leave this place and leave Maximus for good, when I was here. How many times did I want to come back. 

Countless times.

But after a while, I was too tired and too broken. I didn’t come back because I needed the warmth of his arms, his delicious smell, and the beautiful words of his love letters. I came back because I didn’t want to deprive my daughters of being close to their father, I want them to be in contact with him, to have a family, or at least as much of it as possible.

My hand roamed down to my swollen stomach. I couldn’t do it to my twins either, I had to stay close to Maximus. They needed their father and this time Maximus wasn’t hiding his face anymore, he could spend more time with our children, be a real father to them. 

That's what I wanted the most, to give my babies the family they needed and deserved. 

I swallowed hard and stood up, willing to try once more, for them. 

* ~

I knocked at the door of Maximus’ bedroom and he opened it immediately. 

“Are you feeling well, Melinda?” he asked, scanning me with his eyes as if to look for any sign of discomfort or illness. His face was laced with worry. 

“I am well,” I replied. I was physically well, at least, “I think it’s a good idea if I stay closer if I sleep in your bed. I don’t want to put the babies in any distress,” I told him and he nodded, taking me in his embrace and planting a kiss on the top of my head.

“You are right. You seem tired, do you want to eat something and then go to sleep?” he asked.

“I have to shower first,” I told him. 

“I’ll bring your suitcase here. Go take a long shower, relax,” he said, putting enough distance between us to be able to look into my eyes. 

His eyes were laced with unspoken emotions, but it was better this way, I really needed to rest, to relax a bit. 

After dinner, I fell asleep in his arms, wrapped in his warmth and comfort. But after a few hours, I woke up to a nasty nauseous feeling. 

“Melinda?” Maximus sat up and turned the bedside table lamp on, he caressed my hair gently and looked at my contorting face.

“What are you feeling? Nausea? Just like when you were expecting the girls?” he asked softly and I nodded. 

I’ve had a hard time with nausea in my previous pregnancies, especially in the second one. 

“Don’t worry, Honey. I’ve gotten you, you will feel better,” he said as he took me in his arms and scooped me up, flashing me to the kitchen, he placed me on a chair. 

“I will make you some herbal tea, and if you need, we can go to the swimming pool, as we did when you were expecting Lea and your nausea was very bad,” he said as he started boiling some water. 

I only nodded, I was avoiding opening my mouth. I took my tea as he ran his fingers through my hair soothingly, his eyes amber pools of affection. 

Eyes that I’d longed to see for so long. 

He took me in his arms once again and flashed us to the indoor swimming pools they had downstairs. 

“I’ve never told you that, but those were originally bath pools, and everyone in the villa used to bathe here around 500 years ago,” he explained as his gaze wandered around the three relatively small swimming pools, “Us elves love to be surrounded by the elements, that’s why we have ample windows, for the air come in, and a lot of green all around the house.” 

We’ve never talked about normal, trivial things like couples used to, we’ve never been a couple. I sighed deeply, I didn’t even know how to be part of a couple, I didn’t even know how to be a mate, not fully. 

“You are very tense, Melinda,” he told me, as he placed me on a chair and took his shirt off. 

Of course, I was very tense around him. I knew a lot about him, but at the same time, I didn’t know him at all. It was like one of our first real meetings, in which we could talk and look at each other. Besides that, he and my hesitancy and desire to be with him had this effect on me. 

“I’m fine,” I replied, looking away and taking off my sleep gown, to avoid it from getting wet. 

The warm water always helped me to relax and alleviate the feeling of nausea. Thus, he used to take me here and hold me in his arms when I was feeling that way. 

He took his trousers off, and I could see the visible bulge in his boxers. I swallowed hard and looked away. 

“Let’s go,” he muttered, scooping me up in his arms, I wrapped my arms around his neck and we entered the warm waters. 

“Just relax, Honey. The tea effects will start soon and you’ll be able to go back to sleep,” he husked, looking into my eyes. 

I sighed, my mind was a turmoil of confusion, exhaustion, discomfort, and… desire. Having him that close made all my nerves wake up, my ni.pples were perked in my white wet bra, and it was clearly visible. Naturally, he could smell my arousal as well.

Hormones, confusion, and contradiction were possessing all my senses and making me feel soft and pliant, almost dizzy. 

I trembled slightly in his arms, as I tightened my grasp onto him. 

He muttered, after placing a kiss on the top of my head, “You will feel better, Honey. I’ve gotten you, I won’t ever leave you or all children. I promise.”