Knights and Ladies

Becoming the Feminist

Today, today is the day 2 since I woke up after the battle against the dark knights of Sir Galahead and day 5 since I apppeard in this game, Knights and Ladies.

Might sound insane to anyone but in this game, I'm stuck and, try as much as I don't want to believe it, I cannot shake off the unsettling feeling that this place, this game, might be my reality for the rest of my days.

I hope not, which i***t would want to live in a game?

But here it is. I slept and woke up since I ripped the throat of George the steward on anger but the memory of his eyes, staring lifeless at me still continues to hurt me psychologically.

I see him like everytime I sleep.

Now, tell me, if this is just a game, how can I feel all of these things precisely?

How can I even feel pain- basically, the only pain I should fail is that of a gamer losing his quest, right?

No, don't tell me this virtual reality because I remember correctly that I was waiting for my pad game, the PlayStation, that is, to load before I somewhat fainted.

Any day, that is for another time.

Here and now, day 5, is another day for me to still actualise my mission.

I'm not exactly sure if there's a time limit because the blasted system did not specify but with the current weakness and illness I've been feeling of late, I dare not wait till my mission expires, unfulfilled.

Besides, I'm glad the mission is given to me because there are so many irregularities that are in operation in Titledom.

Like that of why my sister was sent to the convent?

I said my sister because all of this feels so natural- plus trying to differentiate between myself and Samantha is seeming like an uphill task. It's almost as if I'm blended in with her already.

Maybe that is because I don't grab… No, I simply find it baseless as to why anyone would want to count women aside, as tools for the home and pleasure?

It is twisted, and I hate it.

If I'm going to ever figure out how to get out of the game, I need to first figure how to make people understand that a woman is so much more.

You know why that is, because I doubt anyone would support me in power especially my decisions.

And if everyone is against my decisions, it's safe to say that is the start of my life being in danger.

People here, certainly don't like stubborn women.

Which is why, I must either outsmart them or be simply ruthless as possible to guarantee my own safety.

And that is because, I cannot die in the game.

Not yet, not until I figure how I got here I'm the first place.

Currently, I seat, leaning forward on the table facing the arched windows in my bedchambers.

Since I got up from my haunted sleep, I realise that for me to truly show people what a woman is really capable, I must commit myself to study.

I must first understand how the whole system works and then, I must become strong.

After all, knowledge is power.

Which is why the numerous books on my cosmetic table(that's what I call it, seeing it has boxes of jewelries and mirrors and you know, all those things princesses dig.) are either open wide or flipped over on the table, the inner pages kissing the furniture.

As to the trinket boxes, I retired them to the ground, and the mirror.

Erh… I actually left the mirror because I kinda like looking at myself.

I'm cute, ahh… you know I am!

I'm wearing a white flowing silk gown that hugs down my body, showing off the upper feminine accents, my boobs I mean. It becomes freer down, just after my hips where it ends in gold trimmed hem.

The neck of the gown and the cuffs are outlined by these flowery yellow satin material that drape over my wrists and forma sort of collar at my neck.

And I must commend myself tho, I look flaming hot.

Eh…

I mean, Samantha has a nice body.

The type of lady I'd want to date if it was back in my time.

But I am Samantha as at now, so that complicates everything.

I wonder, how would it feel if I kiss someone?

Arhhh… no… stop it…

But, seriously, it feels sort of natural.

Especially since I notice that I keep thinking of David.

Auck!

I'm gonna puke if I keeping thinking of that!

You know what, back to the dressing talk.

Claire was against me wearing this, saying I ought to put on a surcoat to make the outfit complete.

And oh, a surcoat is a coat worn over other clothes or the outermost garment itself and can be worn by both sexes.

I didn't really mind her because I'm like, where's your own surcoat, too?

Her argument was that, she is not of Noble blood.

See, that's one thing I want to change.

Classed system suck!

She stands behind me, hands behind her but I don't need to look at her to know how worried she is for me.

I can literally say, her heart is beating triple it's rate since I decided to stay stuck over these books.

And I can't blame her…

I keep having this occasional bouts of pain that often blacken my vision.

Aaanddd…. It's happening, again…

"Aaayghh…" I groan, holding my face with both hands.

Feeling sudden nauseousness as well as dancing black spots, I place my elbows on the table and massage my face.

"My Lady… you should rest." Claire says, coming to my side and placing a finger on me.

She has this muddy brown gown on her with laces acting as a collar or button at the neck of her gown.

"I'm fine, Claire." I sigh, shaking my head as I let go of my face.

"No, you're not! You should rest, not jump into study so fast! You need to go easy on yourself, Samantha." Claire massages my back with a hand as she holds my wrists, urging me softly to stand up.

But, no… I cannot leave now.

Because I like I said, I'm no more doing this for just that mission.

I'm doing this because these jerks need to understand that a woman is worth more.

A woman is twice what a man is.

And I will prove them wrong… I swear.

I crunch my right fist and slam them on the table, forcefully bring clearance to my dimming vision.

"Sama…"

"I said, I'm FINE!" I yell into her face. "I'm FINE!"

But Claire takes it the other way as her eyes moisten and she jerks back.

"B-but, you're hurting yourself…" She whimpers, blinking forcefully the welling up tears.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am Claire." I look away to my left, ignoring my reflection in the adjacent mirror. "You need to understand that I need to do this, Claire. Because if I don't…"

Do I tell her that if I don't get to know stuff, I might die?

Or do I tell her that I have to learn everything I must so that, I can be well informed to show the whole Hearth that I as a Woman, am worth so much more than just a tool?

Honestly, I don't know.

"Aaaghhhh…"

Oh My God… my head!

My head feels like it just got a hot spoke driven through it.

My eyes…

I clutch my eyes with my left hand, pressing them in attempt to phase out the feverish prickly sensation in them.

"Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhh…"

I can't hold it anymore.

My entire body is racking in pains. My joints have stretching aches as if they are pulled apart at different directions.

I can't see a damn thing because my whole sight is blurry.

Different pain nerves implode within me.

"Aaaahhhhhhh! Make it stop…" I am crying now, holding my hand, crumpled together because it hurts.

In all my life, I have never felt this horrible.

God… please… help me…

Blood drips down my nose and then, I black out…

And I'm back again…

This time, the aches are gone completely and I find that I am already up on my feet.

Claire has her hand around me as she half carried and half drags me away from the table, hurriedly...

Until, I push away from her.

"Samantha…"

"I said I'm fine." I blurt out and hastily return to the table.

Now, now, where was I?

My books are all scatteed about and the pieces of paper that I made jottings here and there are strewn about.

I don't know what happened in that burst of t*****e but whatever did made a mess of my research desk.

Hastily, I pick around and shuffle the papers together in two, three bunches.

Aaarhh… my eyes.

I am paused now, holding my eye with one hand while the other holds the edge of the table.

I remain like that until my vision balances again from the black dancing spots.

God!

Forget me trying to change the system, this is but a very cruel mission.

Stupid System!

Just then, I hear a new voice in the room and footsteps.

I give a brief glance and see that it is David in a plain black tunic with the type of lacing Claire has on the neck, down to the chest except that David's own reach down to his lower chest.

He has a knife strapped on but is not so visible though.

And damn, he's hot!

Focus!

And about how he enters my chamber so causally, it is because I sort of trust him.

Since I ended George, good riddance to bad rubbish, I kind of put of Claire in charge of over seeing the whole castle and made sure David did checks on me occasionally.

And that is because I don't trust this people at all.

I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if that Chaplain Musgan didn't come to kill me in my room someday.

And so far, David seems to be the only one to put him in order which was why I made sure David to make checks on me, periodically.

But, now, I don't pay him any attention.

Unsteadily, I pull the chair out and plant my bums on them, pulling my focus into study.

My eyes settle on the first paper and see the scribbles I made on it about the topic of Town development.

And that is because, the first step k need to do before women empowerment here is first make sure that the town is prosperous enough.

I mean, if there's enough to go round, people should be less aversed to the idea of women as tools especially when women are in the governing posts, right?

Now, what is the first thing I have to do.

Yes, draft a record from the analysis of the day to day affairs of Titledom that Claire brought to me on tax and income generation.

If there is a slight chance that I can make changes to the annual income generated in Titledom, then, I'm willing to take it.

****

****

Meanwhile as Lady Samantha mutters to herself, immersing completely in study of the books and papers before her, a different scenario plays out behind her.

"Sir David, we must stop her. Her health is failing and she needs rest. She listens to you more than me, so tell her to rest, please." Madame Claire whispers to David who has his hands on his waist.

David says nothing but smirks before shaking his head.

He turns around but stops short.

"She has being studying in and out. Occasionally she did have black outs but yet she does not need my call to rest. At least for her medication to work." Claire mouths, desperately after David.

David sighs. "I understand. But I also understand where she is coming from. Our Lady Samantha is no more the Samantha we knew."

"What do you mean?" Claire turns around.

"I think she is a different person. Almost as if another person has taken over her already." David says, walking away before a stunned Claire can make any words to say.