WE Are (Veddie)

Best Behaviour

At first, Venom didn’t understand the concept of house cleaning. Back on Klyntar, he never really had a true family or nest to call his own, was more of a nomad, if anything. And if Eddie hadn’t shown him how fun existence really could be, he would still be stuck on that dreadfully boring and dank planet. But Venom does understand that Eddie gives up a lot for him, that she does nice things for him (namely, letting him eat bad guys and play the hero she pretends even to him she doesn’t want to be, but also things like buying him as much chocolate as he wants and letting him keep Sonny and Cher again, even after their big fight and separation last year.) And he’s been trying his best not to ever let something like that happen again, and is more than overjoyed that the only arguments they have these days are petty and merely them trying to outdo one another. Which, he thinks, is fun, because Eddie is funny and he likes her dry writer’s wit and her stuck up and slightly cocky sense of humour.

Then, there is last night.

Last night being that Venom only just admitted to himself that he was nervous, finally got over it and asked Eddie out on a real date. He’s never been on one before and that in itself is exciting to him. Which brings him back to the whole clean nest thing. Eddie does nice things for him all the time, so after she had fallen asleep last night, Venom began to clean up their apartment as best he could (which is pretty good, he thinks, considering he can do most things well.)

Thankfully, Eddie is a bit of heavy sleeper, though, he thinks she’s learned to be with him floating around her each night. It’s not that he doesn’t sleep, he can and does, sometimes, when Eddie’s dreams are particularly imaginative and fun (he guesses that’s a writer thing), it’s just that he doesn’t need sleep to restore his energy. Eddie is his perfect host, pretty much his eternal source of... well, everything.

Sonny and Cher are not particularly helpful as Venom has to gently manoeuvre them out of the way each time they wonder back into the kitchen. “I already told you both, I don’t need any help today!” He snips quietly, keeps his voice low as to not wake Eddie. “I need to do this by myself. Shoo! Go on, shoo!” He hisses, two tiny tendrils shooting out to gently usher the birds back out. They make a fuss and Venom shushes them through another hiss, but otherwise, they finally flutter back towards their little pen.

Venom stares down at the laptop, grinning with excitement as a tiny tendril darts out and presses the enter button. Eddie won’t mind him using her Prime account... too much... he hopes. Besides that little deviance, he’s on his best behaviour for now. He floats back over to the frying pan when he hears the oil sizzling, tendrils reaching into the fridge and pulling out only three eggs (Eddie taught him about human proportions) and four slices of bacon (Eddie swore to break his teeth again if she ever had to eat another sausage.) He cracks the eggs (Eddie also taught him not to include the shells as he tosses them into the garbage can), slaps the bacon down next to the eggs, the smell already making him so hungry that he can feel himself drooling a little. He feels a drop of that drool splinter off, quickly snaps out of his hungry thoughts to catch it before it falls into the pan. “Oop! Ahhh! Not today!” He chirps proudly as he wipes his tiny drool covered tendril on a paper towel before tossing that into the garage can, too.

See? Best behaviour.

‘Eddie is a good teacher.’ Venom thinks rather fondly to himself as he watches the bacon curl and the eggs bubble, though, this time, doesn’t float right over the pan where his drool can try to get at Eddie’s breakfast again. Eddie’s phone suddenly buzzes loudly against the coffee table and Venom can only hiss loudly and curse. “No! s**t! Shh!” He propels himself over to the table, tendril shooting out and snatching the phone up. He glares at the screen, when he doesn’t see it’s Annie calling him back after the rather urgent text he sent her last night after Eddie fell asleep (after Eddie agreed to go on a real date with him.) However, annoyed as he is, it’s the Detective calling, and Venom knows he only calls when he needs a favour (as much as the Detective likes to play pretend best friends. He seems to resent Eddie, even after everything that happened with Kasady, and Venom doesn’t like him.) He answers quickly, but doesn’t get the chance to speak first... rude. See? Another reason Venom doesn’t like him.

“Eddie, I need a favour.”

See?

Venom holds in the little snarl, instead, keeps his tone polite as he always does with the Detective (though, only because he’s sometimes useful to Eddie, too.) “It is Venom. Eddie is sleeping.”

“Right. I know it’s real early and all, so, can you tell her to call me back when she wakes up?”

“Of course.”

“Thanks.”

He sounds genuinely grateful enough, so Venom asks, “Is it something I can help with, too?”

Patrick laughs, sounds slightly amused. “No, nothin' like that. Although, you may need to keep an eye on her if she agrees to this favour.”

“Eddie is never in danger when she is with me.” Venom tries not to sound so snooty as glares at the phone.

“Well, good, ‘cause she’ll be interviewin’ a r****t. Behind reinforced glass, of course, but I feel a lot better knowin’ you’ll be there with her. It’s what I was gonna say to you anyway if Eddie agrees to this.”

“Why does he want Eddie?”

“When you’re as smart and as pretty as Eddie is, and you piss off the wrong people, word gets out real fast. Especially in the criminal underworld. These idiots like to think of themselves as Gods.” Patrick scoffs. “Most men do.”

“But you do not.” Venom doesn’t feel sorry for him, but he does believe that.

“With you on her shoulder, Eddie’s more of a God than me.” Patrick laughs, is teasing, but he does mean that.

“I will tell Eddie to call you when she wakes up.”

“Thanks, Venom. Oh, and it’s tomorrow mornin’. Tell her to call only if she’s gonna agree to help. No point in wastin’ both our time.”

“OK. Will do! Bye!” Venom doesn’t have time for this (it’s not even until tomorrow!) He quickly hangs up, puts the phone on silent and then tosses it onto the couch.

“Who was that?”

“Eddie! You’re awake!”

Eddie arches a brow, bites back an amused smile at his cheery tone. “Yeah. Mornin’, V...” She wrinkles her nose, glances back at him and asks, “You burnin’ stuff again?”

“Your breakfast!” Venom’s eyes widen as he finally tears his eyes away from Eddie’s distractingly pleasing to look at face. “NOO!!!” He swirls around and jets back over to the pan.

Eddie purses her lips, still smirking anyway as she slowly follows him over to the kitchen.

“It’s ALL ruined!” Venom’s voice cracks slightly, and he quickly growls loudly in anger to cover it up. “I am going to EAT Patrick’s face!” He roars, picks up the pan and slaps the ruined food into the garbage can.

Eddie watches him slam the pan angrily back onto the stove, can’t help smiling as she finally takes a proper look around the apartment. “Wow, V, did you do all for me?”

“Uh-huh.” Venom’s anger seems to vanish when he sees the pleasant smile on her face.

“Huh. You even fixed that crack in the ceilin’. Bless you.”

“No, I made that pervert across the hall do that.”

“Wha –“

“He won’t be bothering you anymore.”

Eddie narrows her eyes at him, wants to be angry, but really isn’t, not even in the slightest. She’s just annoyed with herself for not being angry. “You know you could’ve just done it yourself. You can do pretty much anything, Einstein.” She snootily snips out, knows it’s pathetic.

“Yes, but listening to him beg me not to eat him was very enjoyable.” Venom grins when she chuckles. “I’m surprised his pathetic whimpering didn’t wake you.”

“Well, I sleep like the dead. You know that. Especially when I have to take my pet parasite for late night walkies.” Eddie says, tone as sweet as her smile.

Venom narrows his eyes, but doesn’t retort, because he knows she’s only trying to bait him into doing so. Not today! Best behaviour! “I was trying to make you breakfast, but how do you feel about ordering pancakes and waffles? My treat!”

“And by your treat, you mean my Deliveroo account.” Eddie arches a brow.

Venom blinks before chirping, “Exactly!”

“Uh-huh.” Eddie rolls her eyes, but can’t help smirking. “Go ahead.”

“Promise not to get any ice cream!” Venom demands as he grabs her laptop and follows her over to the couch.

“I only do that when you’ve pissed me off really bad. I’m not that cruel.” Eddie shoots him a pointed look.

“Just checking.” Venom chirps, grins as he holds up two tendrils in surrender.

Eddie glares at him, though, is fighting another smile as she scoffs out, “Don’t understand sarcasm, my ass.” She rolls her eyes when he shoots her a cheesy grin. “What did Patrick want?”

“He wants you to interview a r****t tomorrow morning. He said not to call unless you agree to do it. You shouldn’t do it, Eddie.”

“Why? What’s wrong?” Eddie asks, tone serious and slightly worried.

“I can’t protect you if you won’t let me. And you won’t let me. Especially after what happened with Kasady and my spawn.”

“Yeah, quick question – why the hell did he hate you so much?” Eddie always wondered, but never enough to ask until now. Mainly because she’s been trying not to think about it.

“It’s not personal. On my planet, my kind have offspring who are more powerful, and to ensure they have no competition, they kill their makers and their... siblings?”

“That’s the right word, don’t worry, bud, you got it in one.” Eddie chuckles.

Venom watches her order the food, can no longer take the stupid guilt as he blurts out, “I ordered a new stress relief chew toy for myself! I’m sorry, but I miss Snookie!”

Eddie snorts out a laugh, glances up at him. “You’re lucky I’m semi-rich.”

“Because of me...”

Eddie glares up at him. “Oh, are we on this again? Really?” She shoots him a disbelieving look.

“I push you in the right direction, Eddie. But you make things happen in the end.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Eddie arches a brow, doesn’t look impressed.

“Yes. Stop being stupid. The writing is all you, Eddie. I would never take that away from you.”

Eddie stares at him for a moment, then huffs, clearly annoyed. “I don’t like how you make it impossible to be angry with you sometimes. Stupid alien.”

Venom grins, because he knows she’s not angry with him anymore. Best behaviour! “If you do this interview, you have to promise to let me protect you if I have to.”

Eddie scoffs. “Do I? Like you’re not just gonna do it anyway?” She would feel more touched if it wasn’t for the fact that he never listens to her anyway.

“Awh, you know me too well, Edith.”

“Uh-huh.” Eddie shoots him a mocking polite smile and nod. “So, when’s the new Snookie arrivin’?”

“Tomorrow morning. Prime Delivery is a blessing.”

Eddie chuckles, but has to nod in agreement as she grabs the TV remote and settles back into the couch.

“And her name isn’t Snookie. That would disrespectful.” Venom grumbles as he curls himself around her arms.

“Her?” Eddie arches a brow, looks highly amused.

“Of course. Females on this planet are nicer than the males. Why would I want a male?”

Eddie can’t help laughing at that. “Many, many people ask themselves that question.”

“Is that why you don’t want one?”

“You know why, V. Last guy I was in a serious relationship with turned out to be a serial killer. So, don’t even go there.” Eddie huffs. “Do I attract killers, or somethin’? I mean, I attached myself to you, ironically, the least concerning killer of all.”

“Hey!” Venom pauses, looks slightly confused. “Was that an insult?”

“I... I don’t know. Maybe. Depends on how you wanna look at it.” Eddie says, tone genuinely serious and at loss all at once. “Look, V, I’m gonna have to do that interview. It’s work, after all. And yes, you can come out and kill everybody if s**t goes sideways.”

“s**t always goes sideways around us, Eddie.” Venom says, no hint of teasing in his tone.

Eddie sighs, nods. “Yep. Mmhm.”

“Oh, goody! I was getting a little hungry again.” Venom cheers, licks his lips in anticipation.

Eddie sighs again, eyes slowly closing as she finds the strength for this stupid interview.