feminism's

historical fiction

It's so hard to think about children like that. Maybe having children means life and death." "How I despised myself for not staying in an alternate state. What kind of woman am I? Who needs me like that? I glance at Milorad and my heart breaks. He, the unfortunate one, might be discouraged. "And by the way, the amount?" "Six years." Six years of waiting and trusting, crying constantly because of the reports that there is nothing of the child. And then, I came back from the field before, my head hurt a little, when I heard my Milorad talking to his dad and mom in the kitchen. Mother by marriage, she foams like a frantic dog. Milorad lowers his head, giving up, barely making a sound. She says to him: What do you need a sorry lady, give her back! No one will blame you. Six years have passed. We wait for our grandchildren to cry in the house, but nothing. Other women's children have only recently started school and our support is still vacant. As children, how could we live without parents? To whom would it be wise to pass on this abundance? Will we have children in order? "Emina was completely overwhelmed by her story. How much agony can one endure in a single day? Besides, is there a limit to perseverance? We realize that there is none. Only the person who endures realizes that the limits depend on We can try to protect ourselves, to solidify ourselves with everything, horrible. To end the torment unequivocally or something like that forever.,, I pay attention to her, Emina, and my heart is about to burst. Tears flow like a downpour, and yet not because of me, but because of Milorad. He pulled himself together, unhappy old man, he sticks out his tongue, says: "However, Mother, Father, I cannot chase her away, where will my spirit go? She is brilliant, devoted, legitimate. I cannot, Mother, without her! I cannot! ...Why didn't you advise me to go?" Is there any good reason why he wouldn't be furious? I would leave immediately. Maybe that seems best, really. I would go to my father, my grandmother, maybe there would be a single man there and I would marry again. Why would it suit me to pass on Milorad and his parents in my mind? ... Also, my mother by marriage, at these expressions of his, much more enraged: "You need to remarry, did you hear that? What are you talking about, what an aunt. Look at me, I gave birth to you seven, six girls and you. Six of them don't "That doesn't mean your leg is important. You are Pavlović and you should have your own children. She can't give birth to them... Maybe that she can, he said. If she could, she would have conceived by then, I am

an offspring, she whispers, and he: Let me go, mother, I can't

tell him... I go into the room, I look at them, and I feel frustrated with them.

I cried with pity.. She lamented her affection. We look at each other like this

manner and we hold back to see who will speak first. Milorad bowed

down to earth, the married father is silent and the married mother will croak. As for

As for me, I have never said so gently: I could take my

business and leave, Milorad. I'm going home, Milorad, no more. Please, my

Julka, don't go. It doesn't make any difference what... Let him go, his mother

cut him off, and he, the weak one, atones, he should not oppose her, and

he should go! We have been expecting a grandchild for some time, but

nothing. We should marry you again! Also try marriage before

this child, madam, good heavens. How will your mind react? finally the father

by alliance spoke. It's hers, she had it and won't give it up. Besides, he, who has not

no other spouse but her. Don't do it. Mother, yes. I can't do without

of her, cried Milorad. Calm down, you wretch, she interrupted him haughtily... I

so, calmly, as if in the voice of another, I spoke: I'm going, just to

gather my things. I'm going, don't be afraid. What doesn't that give us

to have children, Milorad? Take some for me, no one needed them more-

care than me. And not even a tear. Moreover, I leave and the tear has mysterious-

ment disappeared. I guess I made them all cry. Which has been bothering me ever since

long has been obvious. It is no more. I will go now. Besides,

It's not my problem at the moment... Milorad accompanied me to

the entrance, Spot, but he shouldn't hold me back. He shook my hand, fingers are

turned blue. Moreover, I, like a stone. Nothing. Even though I cherished

The house I hung on to, I hated it just as much. Besides, I-

would have preferred not to come back. I just needed to leave immediately

and never see them again in the future. None. "..Are you frustrated with him?" I

felt frustrated for him and he felt frustrated for me. That's the reason why-

They don't stay together. I was barely twenty years old and I bore the title mon-

strueux of divorce. Few women at the time had a destiny like mine. I

came back to my father after six years. They invited me as a young man who

I am going through a difficult illness. Only my grandmother realizes that I have been devastated.

there and that now, basically for a brief period of time, I have

was saved from the disease. I was not mature enough to remarry. 21. Furthermore, my father proactively spotted a potential opportunity to marry me again. ",, All things considered, my grandmother Julka, I was at fourteen very similar to that at 21. I was not ready for marriage. When I think about it, I have no idea when it was the perfect opportunity to do it.",, How so?", Nice. I needed my job and my loft, and marriage was something completely optional. Assuming it works out - let it work out, and if not - it doesn't make much difference. Maybe I'm not the person for Or on the other hand, it was unfortunate that at the first point of reference, when I really became desperately in love, it's interesting, I met a man who didn't need marriage, children. It's not great to be separated from everyone. elsewhere, and not even far from the world. "Indeed. I couldn't find a new job or a loft, and the conflict destroyed a ton of things for me. Plus, I needed to accomplish something in my life, so I changed my application. Instead of a job and a loft, I got a spouse and children. The occupation came later, and then the loft. Despite the fact that... something is fundamentally missing and I can't figure out what? "What's going on?" I'm trying to find an answer. Will you help me? It's like I'm heading to a place unacceptable path for my whole life. I keep meandering. It's like I'm still a child and it annoys me, so I really need someone to take me out with me. Maybe because I really want security, or because I'm still afraid of boredom and dreams. Or on the other hand since they never let me grow up the way I would have preferred. I never made choices on my own, because others usually thought they knew better than me what I wanted. Maybe I want to be independent but have confidence when I want it. I'm neither independent nor confident. I want someone, like when you're small and fragile, and your parents' hand seems so huge, so you happily crush it and participate in its existence. Then you quickly get out of that hand and it's not what it was. I really want another hand. An authentic, solid and confident hand so that I remain a young person in any case. Indeed, I do not fit in anywhere and I have never fitted in, especially not in this state of mind of others. ",, You are a woman and do not try to be something different. You are not what you show or what you must be. All things considered, you could do without vehicles. Moreover, you see that you can hardly hold back to get rid of them. "Since I Lady?", No, but since you are like that. Since you could do without them. Moreover, when you do what you could do without, then you do not do everything right. Moreover, when it is not done well, anything can happen.",, And it worked. ",,It's nothing, my dear. Come back, leave the vehicle, and don't take it again until you are sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that you should drive it. There are other ways to move a person. Try not to get affected by others. They will destroy you. "When I am separated from others, I have no apprehension. I am apprehensive when I drive my children.",, How old would they say they are? "Nine and seven" Show her the picture of a smiling child and a young woman, and then she will be somewhat embarrassed. If you have no children, showing your children before by her is not altogether attractive. She will understand, she feels it. The possibility of children fills every particle of the body with adoration. Her affection is unlimited, genuine and widely inclusive. They are truly hers and she lets them involve her whole heart. She has protected them as much as she could so that they should not feel or hear the horrors that reigned. "What are they doing now?" "We are away, presently they are with father." "You smile." My dear, tell her thank you for giving them to you at once