Her Unheard Weeps

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Chapter 1

"Oh! Okay ka lang?" Tanong ng nakakatandang kapatid na kakarating lang. Pumasok siya sa kwarto ko at sakto din na nakita niya akong tulala na nakaupo sa paanan ng aking kama.

Hindi ako nagsalita, hindi din siya dinapuan ng tingin. Kita sa gilid mata ko ang pag-upo niya sa tabi ko.

"Pinagalitan ka na naman ni mommy no?" She said na tila hindi na bago iyon.

Tinitigan ko lang siya tsaka sumimangot. "Si mommy talaga." She tsked.

"Don't confront her after this. Lalo niya lang ako papagalitan" i whispered.

"Bakit na naman ba?"

I lifted my eyes at her for a second and handed her my report card, pagkatapos no'n ay binaba na naman ang tingin sa mga kamay na nasa hita.

Tinanggap niya iyon. I heard her sigh after a minute.

"You know that this isn't a big deal right? Bumaba lang ng konti ang grades mo...you didn't even fail any subject!" She tsked once again and shook her head like she was unbelieved that i was scolded because of the unmaintained grades.

"Para sa'yo hindi. Pero para sa kaniya oo" i whispered.

I felt her hand patting my back. "Okay lang 'yan. 'Wag mo na lang siyang pansinin. Alam mo naman 'yon"

Hindi ako nagsalita. Nakababa pa din ang ulo ay naramdaman ko siyang biglang tumayo.

She smiled widely and offered a hand at me. "Tara!"

I stifled a smile, already expecting kung anong ibig niyang iparating.

"But it's nearly dinner"

"It's okay!"

"Mapapagalitan tayo" i stated.

"Wala 'yan! Basta! Ako bahala!" She said assuringly. I just rolled my eyes pero tinanggap pa din naman ang nakalahad niyang kamay.

Pagkababa namin ng hagdan ay saktong kita namin na naglalapag na ng ulam si mommy sa lamesa. Tumingin siya sa banda namin.

"Dianne...Nakauwi ka na pala" tumaas ang kilay niya nang makitang naka jacket kami. "Where are you two going?"

"Bibili lang ng ice cream my" then she winked at me.

Mas lalong tumaas ang kilay ng ina. "Ice cream? Magdi dinner na ah?" Dumako ang tingin niya sa akin. "Astrid?" Mahaba at strikta niyang sabi na tila nambibintang.

"Tigilan mo nga si ash my! Hindi niya ako pinilit. Ako ang kusang nang-aya" pagtatanggol ng kapatid bago pa ako mapagalitan ulit ng ina namin.

Ilang segundo niya kami tinitigan bago bumuntong hininga.

"O sige na! Umalis na kayo para makabalik kayo kaagad" she said making the both of us smile.

Tumalikod na kami. At bago pa kami tuluyang makalabas ay narinig ko pa ang sinabi ni mommy. "Astrid huh! Kapag may mangyaring masama sainyo ng katapid mo sa daan..."

I turned an ear deaf on my mom's warning even though i knew to myself that i was intrigued by it. She's always like that, not often but always..every single day. Ako palagi ang napagsasabihan at napapagalitan niya, kahit minsan ay wala akong ginagawang masama. She always finds a reason to scold me.

"Diba dapat ako ang mas kinakampihan niya dahil ako ang bunso?" I opened when we were both walking our way home with a cone of ice cream on hand.

My sister's brow lined. "She loves you...you know that"

"Hindi ko naman sinabing hindi niya ako mahal. Ang sinasabi ko lang...she favors you so much na minsan nakakainggit na. Anak niya din naman ako ah?" I pouted and whispered the last phrase.

"Ano ka ba! Of course you're her favorite too! Hindi niya lang pinaparamdam"

Hindi na ako nagsalita kaya nagpatuloy siya at inakbayan ako.

"And if your statement is true...who cares anyways? At least ako, ako...favorite kita." She winked.

She's always like this. Always making me feel better by her words of encouragement. This little ice cream date is just like a normal routine of ours na madalas din naming gawin dahil madalas din akong napapagalitan. Despite that, she always makes me feel wanted and loved and that i'm her favorite kahit hindi ako paborito ng sarili kong ina.

I scoffed. "Maiba nga ako, bakit gabi ka na nakauwi huh? At diba dapat naka uniporme ka?" I noticed that she wasn't in her work uniform.

She laughed loudly.

"Well...what can i say? I had a date" she grinned.

"A date?"

"Yeah! It's tom and i's third year anniversary" she said pertaining to her long time childhood sweetheart.

Tumango lang ako.

"Wag mong sabihin kay mommy huh?"

"Ano bang dapat 'kong sabihin sa kaniya?"

"Na hindi ako pumasok ng trabaho"

"Hindi ka pumasok ng trabaho para lang makipag date kay kuya tom?" Panlalaki ng mata ko. Tumango siya. "Bukod sa hindi ako sumbongera, hindi ko naman talaga sasabihin kay mommy no! And as if she'll scold you for going out with your boyfriend that she's super fond of"

She just grinned. Sakto naman nakarating na kami sa bahay.

"Did you saw your sister's report card?" Tanong ng mommy kay ate nang nasa hapag kainan na kami.

"Yes mom. At bakit mo naman siya pinagalitan? It's not like she failed a subject or something...majority of it are still line of nines. Bakit ako? Hindi mo 'ko pinagsalitaan na ang grades ko nga noon ay puro line of seven?"

"Wag mo ngang ipagtanggol ang kapatid mo dianne!" Sinamaan siya nito ng tingin.

"My naman! Ang sinasabi ko lang. Bawas-bawasan mo ang pagiging strikta kay ash"

"If i was not the one to discipline her, then who will? Kaya tumatapang iyang kapatid mo dahil palagi mong pinagtatanggol at kinukunsinti! At tsaka...ano naman kung puro line of seven ang grado mo noon? Let me remind you that you were a working student during your college, i should know that it's difficult to maintain a high grades while working, and you made it through anyways dahil wala ka namang bagsak"

"Exactly my point my. Wala siyang bagsak!"

Our mother glared once more.

"She should be thankful that we are working our ass off for her education. We are offering it to her in a silver platter, hindi niya na kailangang maghirap. The very least she has to do is study and prove to us that she is worth all of these back aches"

Tahimik lang ako at nakababa ang tingin sa plato habang sila ay nagbabangayan. I didn't want to look at our mom and see a glaring eyes meeting mine.

I heaved a deep sigh silently.

"Enough with her...How was your day dianne? How's work?" She asked that certain question that once she never asked me.

A pained expression made it's way on my face but immediately covered it with a smile once i saw my ate looking at me with a sorry look on her face.

Natapos na kami sa pagkain at aakyat sana ako sa kwarto ko nang marinig ko ang pagtawag ni mommy.

"Astrid. Ikaw ang maghugas ng pinagkainan natin. Pagod ang ate mo" she commanded.

Walang salitang sumunod naman ako. Pagtapos maghugas ay doon na ako umakyat sa kwarto ko. Nang makarating ay pagod akong humiga sa kama, curling my body in a fetus position. Sighing the weighing heart out.

Minutes later, i heard my phone ringing loudly from the night stand. Inabot ko iyon at napangiti nang makita kung sino iyon.

"Hi"

"Hello love..." He said in a low, exhausted voice. "How was your day? How was school?"

"Okay lang" ani ko sa maliit na boses. "Ikaw? How was work? Teka—you're still on duty? Hindi ka pa nakakauwi?" Tanong ko nang mapansing puro puti ang nakikita ko sa kaniyang background.

"Yeah, i'm still at the hospital."

"How are you?"

I saw him wince a little as the camera shook a bit as he sat down with a grunt.

"Exhausted...just finished operating on a guy who had a terrible vehicle accident" he blew a sigh. "Wait...you didn't answered my question though. How was my baby's day gone through?"

I chuckled. "Sinagot ko na 'yan. I said it was okay"

"That's not the answer that i'm looking for. I want it to be in full details"

I made the corner of my lips slightly rose. Ilang segundo din akong natahimik, deciding if i should tell him or not.

"It didn't went will, didn't it?" Umiling lang ako. "What happened?" His attention was now full on me, i saw him leaning.

"I—uhm...had a low grade...i mean, that grade didn't quite surpass her expectations" i managed to c***k a chuckle.

"Pinagalitan ka na naman ng mommy mo?" Unti-unti akong tumango. "Which subject?"

"Anatomy..."

I heard him chuckle. Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin na mas nagpalakas ng tawa niya.

"Tumigil ka nga! Nakakainis ka naman e!"

Seconds later ay tumigil na siya sa pagtatawa. Mabuti naman dahil bababaan ko talaga siya ng telepono. Kita mong sumasama na 'yong loob ko e!

Umaayos ako ng upo nang marinig ko ang sinabi niya. "I'm proud of you"

"Huh?" Agad akong napabaling. He just smiled. "Did i heard you right? You just...you're proud? Why? I failed a subject" i stated confused.

"I know you. I know you didn't fail. Bumaba ng konti..yes...but never failed." Hindi ako nakapagsalita. "And yes, i'm proud of you. I'm proud of you trying your best...every single day"

I bit my lip habang pinapakinggan lang siyang magsalita.

"And baby...your mom. I know it's not right if i'd say that you should careless about what she would say because i know that that's why you've been trying to do your whole life...to please her. What i'm trying to say is that, one's future doesn't depend on grades, it's just digits."

"You're only saying that because you're wise and so clever! You even graduated the medical board exam as one of the top notchers! And your girlfriend...a supposed nurse was dumb enough to fail a major subject!"

"Baby..a failing grade doesn't define a failing daughter. She should try to look at you using my eyes and maybe she'll manage to see all the efforts and every little details of you...unflawed and just...just utterly beautiful"

I bit my lip to suppress a smile. "Ano ba 'yan oliver! Ang Bolero!"

"What? Totoo 'yong sinasabi ko" he chuckled.

"Okay...fine! Doc...whatever!" I rolled my eyes still laughing. I saw him leaning on his swivel and grimace once more. "You know...you should already go home"

"Mamaya na...o baka dito na naman ako matutulog" nakapikit na ngayon ang kaniyang mga mata.

"It's hard too right?" I asked, "you're still earning your residency and yet you're already managing the hospital your working in. Imagine, mas mataas ka pa sa mga doktor diyan."

He is a TAN. And the tan surname is known in the country for they are a chinese-filipino descent who manages a lot of business and majority of it are hospitals. Kaya hindi na ako nagtaka kung bakit siya nag doktor. Para matulungan ang pamilya niya dahil medyo matanda na din ang daddy niya at siya ang pinakamatanda at kaisa-isang anak na lalaki sa kanilang pamilya.

Nakapikit pa din ang mga mata, he hummed. I smiled.

"I love you....And i'm also very proud of you" i said.