#plots-and-schemes (Plots and Schemes)
493 Words
you considered: magic crystals? I trapped a princess in one last week, worked like a charm.
DOSADEEZNUTS (Avitria): I HAVE HEARD POSITIVE REVIEWS OF THE PRACTICE BUT HAVE NOT TRIED IT MYSELF YET.
CoolerThanYou (Underdark): I recommend it. Saves a ton on prison upkeep and maintenance.
DOSADEEZNUTS (Avitria): DID YOU REMEMBER TO POKE HOLES IN THE CRYSTAL SO SHE CAN BREATHE?
CoolerThanYou (Underdark): It... no? Do they need that?
DOSADEEZNUTS (Avitria): I HAVE NOT TRIED IT BEFORE. I DO NOT KNOW.
CoolerThanYou (Underdark): s**t neither do I. Listen I need to go, catch up with you later.
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8bitPain (Generica II): Fellow members of the Interdimensional Villain Support Chat Server, REJOICE! For I have now completed the preparations for my most DASTARDLY PLAN YET!
FromagesTrueQueen (Earth L7): oh christ not this again.
northerndevil (Heaven Continent): and what do you have for us this time, Lord Pain? a spike pit? an otherwise invincible creature with a single obvious weak point? those annoying platforms that disappear and reappear?
8bitPain (Generica II): All CHILD'S PLAY compared to my latest scheme!
8bitPain (Generica II): I have recently SHATTERED the Keystone of Order! So long as it remains broken, my reign shall be UNCHALLENGED!
8bitPain (Generica II): Its component crystals have been scattered across the world, hidden in dungeons behind devious traps and monsters that will ensure my rule FOREVER!
FromagesTrueQueen (Earth L7): isn't this exactly the same thing you did with those three amulets of power.
northerndevil (Heaven Continent): and the time with the four confections of creation?
8bitPain (Generica II): It is DIFFERENT because they are CRYSTALS and there are SEVEN of them!
northerndevil (Heaven Continent): Pain... you know we love you here, man.
northerndevil (Heaven Continent): which is why i think it's time for an intervention.
8bitPain (Generica II): A WHAT!
northerndevil (Heaven Continent): you can't just do the same thing over and over again, it's not healthy
FromagesTrueQueen (Earth L7): yeah you're stuck in a pretty bad rut.
8bitPain (Generica II): This is ABSURD!
8bitPain (Generica II): I will not just SIT HERE being called a BAD VILLAIN!
northerndevil (Heaven Continent): nobody is calling you a bad villain! most villains would kill for your ability to stay relevant year after year despite doing the same thing!
FromagesTrueQueen (Earth L7): honestly he's right and i hate it.
northerndevil (Heaven Continent): we're worried about you man
8bitPain (Generica II): I spent WEEKS preparing this scheme!
northerndevil (Heaven Continent): and you should carry it out! but if it falls through... maybe you should take a break, for a little while?
8bitPain (Generica II): ...
8bitPain (Generica II): Do you guys really think my schemes are repetitive?
FromagesTrueQueen (Earth L7): you're like an evil merry-go-round.
8bitPain (Generica II): Well. I can appreciate a little constructive criticism.
8bitPain (Generica II): I think I'll take another look at my plot...
northerndevil (Heaven Continent): hey man. we love you
8bitPain (Generica II): I appreciate all of your concern for my well-being.
northerndevil (Heaven Continent): don't mention it man
FromagesTrueQueen (Earth L7): villains should have each others' backs, if only to make them easier to stab when it comes time for the inevitable betrayal.
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- Writer
