I stared at the text until the words blurred.
‘We need to talk. I'm outside your apartment.’
"He's outside our place," I said, showing Priya the screen. "He doesn't know I'm here."
She peered over my shoulder and made a face like she'd smelled something rotten. "Don't answer. Let him stand there all night."
Part of me wanted to. But another part of me, the part that still had a lease with his name on it and half my belongings in that apartment, knew this wasn't something I could avoid forever.
‘I'm not there,’ I typed back. ‘I'm not coming back tonight either.’
The reply came fast.
‘Nora, please. Just let me explain. It's not what you think.’
‘I watched it happen, Derek. There's nothing to explain.’
Three dots appeared, disappeared, appeared again. I watched them for a full minute before he finally sent something.
‘I made a mistake. One mistake. Don't throw away four years over one bad night.’
I felt something in my chest twist, not from love, but from disbelief. Four years. He was reducing this to a number, like loyalty could be measured in time served rather than trust kept.
‘You didn't make a mistake,’ I wrote. ‘A mistake is forgetting an anniversary. This was a choice. You chose her. More than once, probably, since she looked far too comfortable for a first time.’
He didn't answer that.
I put the phone down and pressed my palms against my eyes until the sting behind them faded. Priya sat beside me and didn't say anything, just stayed close, which was exactly what I needed.
*****
By morning, the video had reached eleven million views.
Sports blogs had picked it up. Entertainment blogs had picked it up. Someone had made a slow-motion edit set to music, and someone else had turned Sawyer's line “it is now” into a meme with his face captioned over dramatic hockey clips.
I sat at Priya's kitchen table with coffee going cold in front of me, scrolling through headlines I never wanted to see about my own life.
‘WOLVES CAPTAIN CAUGHT CHEATING ON LIVE STREAM’
‘WHO IS THE MYSTERY RIVAL WHO STEPPED IN?’
‘DEREK VANCE'S GIRLFRIEND SPOTTED LEAVING WITH RENEGADES STAFF’
I wasn't staff. Not yet.
My phone buzzed. Sawyer.
‘How are you holding up?’
‘I've had better mornings.’
‘Understandable. Have you eaten?’
‘Not yet.’
‘Address. I'll bring something. You don't have to see me if you don't want to. I'll leave it at the door.’
I looked at Priya, who was watching me with an expression somewhere between amused and suspicious.
"He wants to bring food," I said.
"And?"
"And I don't know if I should let him."
Priya set her mug down. "Nora. The man stood between you and your cheating ex in front of thousands of people less than twelve hours ago. I think breakfast is allowed."
I sent Priya's address before I could talk myself out of it.
****
Sawyer showed up forty minutes later in a plain jacket and a baseball cap pulled low, clearly trying not to be recognized. It didn't fully work. I caught the doorman downstairs doing a double take as Sawyer walked past.
"You didn't have to come yourself," I said when I opened the door. "You could've just sent something."
"I wanted to make sure you were actually eating, not just saying you would." He held up a paper bag. "Bagels. I didn't know what you liked, so I got four different kinds."
I let him in, feeling strangely nervous in a way that had nothing to do with Derek at all.
We sat at Priya's small kitchen table, and for a moment neither of us spoke. He unpacked the bag slowly, like he needed something to do with his hands.
"You saw the headlines," I said. It wasn't a question.
"I saw them." His jaw tightened. "I also saw the comments defending him. There's always a few."
"There's always a few," I agreed quietly.
He slid a bagel toward me. "Eat. Then we can talk about whatever you want, or nothing at all. Your choice."
I appreciated that more than he probably realized. Nobody had given me a choice about anything in the past twelve hours. Everyone had opinions on what I should do, who I should block, what statement I should release. Sawyer was the first person who simply put food in front of me and waited.
I ate in silence for a few minutes before I finally spoke.
"About the job," I said. "The trainer position."
He looked up, careful not to seem too eager. "What about it?"
"Is it real? Or did you make it up to give me a reason to leave him?"
"It's real," Sawyer said, no hesitation. "Our trainer left last month for a college program. We've been running on a temp for weeks. Coach has been asking around for recommendations. I told him about you before any of this happened."
That surprised me. "Before?"
"I watched you work during the exhibition game in October. You caught Petrov's shoulder injury before he even felt it, just from the way he was favoring it during warmups. That's not luck. That's skill." His eyes met mine, steady. "I mentioned your name to Coach that same week. This isn't charity, Nora. I think you're good at your job."
Something in my chest loosened slightly, a small relief in the middle of everything falling apart. At least this wasn't just pity dressed up as opportunity.
"Derek's team is in our division," I said. "I'd be seeing him constantly. Games, media days, everything."
"You'd be seeing him as my trainer, not his girlfriend." Sawyer's voice hardened slightly. "There's a difference in who holds the power in that room."
I turned the idea over slowly. A job. A paycheck. A reason to stay in this city instead of running back to my parents' house in shame. And underneath all of it, a reason to see Sawyer Kane on a regular basis, which I wasn't ready to examine too closely yet.
"I need to think about it," I said again.
"Take your time." He stood, gathering the empty bagel wrappers like he was trying to make himself useful a little longer. "There's no deadline except the season, and that's not for another two weeks."
At the door, he paused.
"For what it's worth," he said, "I don't regret catching you last night. Not the collision, not any of it."
Before I could respond, my phone buzzed on the counter. I glanced at the screen, expecting Priya or another reporter.
It was Derek's mother.
‘Nora, sweetheart, please call me. Derek told me everything and I think there's more to the story than you realize. He would never do something like this without a reason.’
I stared at the message, my stomach dropping all over again.
There was always a reason, apparently. Just never mine.