“Please try to remain calm,” said Dr. Petrov in his practiced, soothing voice. He’d dealt with nearly every kind of human sickness in his long career, and considered himself a particular expert in diseases of the mind; it was obvious to him that the Grand Minister was a lunatic. Of the raving variety. But such a fact, stated aloud, would ensure the swift removal of his head—or something even more cherished—so Dr. Petrov only smiled his bland smile and kept the damning evaluation to himself. “Calm!” shouted the Grand Minister. His face turned an interesting shade of plum. His lone blue eye bulged, threatening to pop from its hollow socket. “You expect me to remain calm when I’ve just found out you’ve been slathering me in goo made from THOSE DISGUSTING ANIMALS?” Dr. Petrov adjusted his sp

