Everything She Never Wanted

Chapter 15

15

Tim walked into the high school gym and smiled. High school was easy. It had been a great four years, four years he didn’t want to walk away from when he was eighteen. He met Marnie when he was in high school. He worshipped her, but high school was a very different place than the real world.

“Dad!” Tim heard the shout above the din of the crowd. He’d know his son’s voice anywhere. Spotting Justin halfway up the bleachers, near the center, Tim made his way past the empty bench and climbed the steps to where his family held a seat for him.

“Hey,” he said to Justin with a clap on his back. He fist bumped William, happy he could get away from school for the evening. He winked at Marnie, which she returned.

“We thought you weren’t going to make it.”

Tim dug out his phone and checked the time. “It’s not supposed to start for three minutes. I’m early.”

William laughed and shook his head. He was the one who looked most like Marnie with his blonde hair and light brown eyes. Justin and Sam both favored Tim with their wavy, dark hair, but both boys kept it cut short. Justin had Tim’s blue eyes, but Sam had Marnie’s brown ones. Both kids had his strong jaw and broad nose, something he wished he hadn’t passed down.

“Sam’s looking,” Justin said with a nudge.

Tim looked down to the court and waved to his youngest. The red uniform, number six, wasn’t the same one Tim wore when he was in high school, but it looked the same. He was proud that his youngest had followed in his footsteps and taken up basketball. It gave them something to talk about.

“He’s starting, right?”

Justin nodded. “Yep. Second start of the season.”

“Good. He’s the best player out there.”

“Not that you’re biased.”

Tim shrugged. “Biased or not, it’s the truth.”

Justin grinned. They watched at the teams lined up and the ball was tossed for the tip-off. Sam’s team, the Winterville Wildcats, got the ball first. They scored and turned the ball over. Tim watched as the teams went back and forth, missing some shots, keeping the score close.

“Chill out, Dad,” Justin finally said. “He’s doing well.”

Tim tried to pry his fingers from the edge of the bench, but he couldn’t relax. His son was on that court, and playing well. There was no such thing as chilling out.

“Yeah, good shot, Sam!” Tim yelled, standing up to cheer for the three pointer Sam sunk.

Sam looked up and pointed at him, easing a little of the tension Tim felt. He knew he wasn’t the best father, but he wanted his boys to know he was there.

Tim sat down, a grin still on his face. “That was a great shot.”

“It was,” Justin agreed. “I couldn’t shoot like that when I was his age. Still can’t.”

“You never liked basketball. Hockey was definitely your sport.”

Justin nodded. “Definitely. Did I tell you I found an adult league?”

Tim shook his head. “You didn’t. When do you play?”

“It’s just for fun, Dad. You don’t have to come watch me.”

Tim shot Justin a look. “Of course I’m going to come watch you. That’s what parents do.”

“I know you’re busy though.”

Tim shook his head. “I don’t want to ever be too busy for you boys. I’m sorry I made you feel like you aren’t that important.”

Justin laughed. “Trust me, Dad, that’s not the case. We all know we matter to you.”

Taken aback, Tim paused. “Really? Are you sure?”

Justin nodded and gave him a look that said he thought Tim was losing it. “Of course. We all know that. You and Mom have been there for us through everything. Supporting us and challenging us and cheering us on.”

Tim watched the game for a few minutes without saying anything. He’d always hoped his boys knew he was there for them, but over the years, especially since the divorce, he wondered if they knew how much he loved them. Hearing Justin say it was never in question brought more emotion than Tim was prepared to handle.

“You okay, Dad?” Justin asked after a few minutes, and a few baskets by Sam. “Is something wrong?”

Tim shook his head. “No. I just always thought your mom and I screwed up when we got divorced. That you guys would end up hating me.”

“Why would we hate you?”

“I work so much. It’s a big part of why your mom and I split up. I’m not around enough.”

Justin shook his head. “You’ve always been around for us. Things with you and Mom? I guess I always thought that was between you guys. I moved back here because I missed having you and Mom, and even Sam and William, around all the time. I know you’re always there for us. Even when you aren’t here. Sam and William are the same. You taught us how to work hard, how to treat a woman, how to be good men. What more could we ask for from our dad?”

“Wow. I did all that?”

Justin laughed. “Yeah. And more. Where is this coming from?”

Tim shrugged. “A friend of mine… Her daughter moved back to town not long ago. She’s thrilled to have her daughter here, but she’s leaving again when she finds a job in a city. We were talking about it Friday night and she said something that made me think about you guys. About missing things but how our job as parents is to let go when you don’t need us anymore.”

“I think we’ll always need you and Mom.”

“You don’t, and I know that, but I hope you’ll always want us around.”

Justin nodded, then grinned. “So, Friday night? Was this a date?”

Tim rolled his eyes. “Walked right into that one, didn’t I?”

“So it was a date. Who is she?”

“She’s a longtime customer and very nice woman. And none of your business.”

Justin laughed, catching the attention of William. “What’s going on?”

“Dad went on a date Friday night and doesn’t want to tell me about it.”

“Why not? We can give you some pointers,” William teased. He glanced at his brother and amended, “Well, I can give you some pointers.”

Justin shoved William and they laughed.

“I don’t need any pointers,” Tim growled at his boys. “I can take care of a woman.”

“Good for you, Dad,” William said with a wide grin. “I guess I got my skills honestly. I wasn’t sure you had it in you.”

“What are you talking about?” Marnie asked, breaking into their conversation.

“Dad had a date. William offered him some tips.”

“Oh, good Lord. You boys are all children. That’s my life. I raised four boys, not three.”

“Hey!”

Marnie gave Tim a look, laced with a grin. “You know it’s true. How many times did I yell at the boys to stop throwing a ball in the house only to find out you were the one who started it?”

Justin and William snickered together like schoolgirls. Tim shoved Justin, who fell into William. They both laughed even harder.

“You’re proving my point,” Marnie said with a raised eyebrow. “I pity the woman who falls for the man-child you are.”

Tim grinned, knowing Marnie didn’t mean it. They were still close friends. When they split up, it was amicable. He still loved her and wished her well, but they both knew they were better off as friends.

“Yes, well, any man who falls for you needs to be ready to have a stick surgically installed in his ass.”

Marnie laughed at their old joke. She was too rigid, he was too loose. They worked for a number of years. But when things fell apart, they both admitted the way the other went through life was more than a minor annoyance. It became a joke between them.

“I already have one picked out for my next husband. If I’m brave enough to try again.”

Tim nodded, understanding the hesitation in her words. He wanted to get married again as badly as she did. Which meant not at all.

“One day you’ll find someone who fits the stick.”

“And maybe your date will want to raise a forty-nine year old child.”

“If I’m lucky,” Tim said without thinking.

Marnie caught the slip, but only reacted with a lift of her eyebrows, not wanting to alert the boys to Tim’s feelings. He shrugged and nodded, knowing she would understand he liked Vivian a lot but didn’t know where things were going.

Marnie’s smile said she was happy for him, not the least bit jealous. He knew if she ever got married again, it would be to a very lucky man.

Sam’s team won the game. Tim waited with Marnie, Justin, and William for Sam to shower and change, then they all went to dinner together. Sam was big on red meat after the game, but since it was a school night, Marnie insisted they go to All Beef for burgers instead of Oliver’s for steaks. Tim was happy with either.

“Good game tonight,” Tim said once they’d all ordered and had their drinks. “That three pointer was nice.”

“Yeah,” Sam said, a balance of pride and humbleness in his eyes. “I’m glad we worked on those over the summer.”

“Me too. Although this summer I think you’re going to give me a run for my money.”

William laughed. “I think he gave you a run for your money last summer.”

Tim nodded. “True. Maybe he’ll start taking it easy on me. Since I’ll be fifty by then.”

The three boys exchanged a look, then all shook their heads. “Nah.”

Marnie and Tim laughed with their boys. One big happy family.

Sort of.

Tim loved being with all of his boys. It was rare, with Justin working and William in college, for them to all get together. He had more time with Sam since he was the one home, but he loved all of them. Seeing them pick on each other, and joke and steal each other’s food, made him smile.

“We did pretty well with them, didn’t we?”

Tim grinned at Marnie. “We did. They’re all good boys.”

“They are. And they adore you.”

“Thanks for saying that. They’d do anything for you.”

“Oh, I know,” she teased. “The feeling is mutual.”

Tim nodded. “Yes, it is.”

“So tell me about this woman. I haven’t heard about you dating much.”

“Yeah, well, one failed marriage is one too many. I’ve stayed out of dating for the most part.”

“You know you aren’t the only one with a hand in our failed marriage.”

Tim shrugged. “I don’t know about that one, but thanks for trying to make me feel better.”

Marnie laughed and shook her head. “So, your date…”

“Vivian. She’s been a customer for a while. Would come in to buy care packages for her daughter. The daughter moved home a month or so ago. She actually asked me out.”

“The daughter?”

Tim laughed. “No. Vivian. I don’t think I’d have been brave enough to put myself out there, you know?”

Marnie nodded. “I do. I’m guessing you like her if you said yes.”

“I do. She’s always been very kind. And she’s beautiful. I think she’s a bit older than we are, but at our age, it’s just a number.”

“Very true.”

“Have you been seeing anyone?”

Marnie shook her head. “Not lately.”

“Do you miss it?”

Marnie looked at their boys then back at Tim. “Sometimes. Toward the end though… No.”

Tim nodded, knowing he was to blame for her hesitation when it came to dating. He wished he’d been a better husband. More dedicated. More affectionate. More… there. He would always love Marnie, but he knew she’d find someone she deserved. Someone who would be everything he never was for her.

And maybe, if he was lucky, he wouldn’t screw things up with Vivian the way he did with Marnie.

“When are you seeing Tim again?” Cynthia asked her mom as she secured the back on her purple crystal studs.

“Next week, I think.”

“Not this weekend?”

Vivian shook her head. “He has something going on. With his kids, maybe.”

“Or he’s seeing someone else.”

“Alright now. You’re the one that made me ask him out. Don’t get those ideas in my head. I’ll cancel the next date and be done with this whole experiment.”

Cynthia shook her head. She didn’t want her own paranoia to bleed into her mother’s mind. She had enough for both of them. Well deserved, too.

“Sorry. I didn’t meant that. If I thought he was like that I wouldn’t have told you to ask him out.” Not that she was a good judge of character. History proved that.

“I don’t know how you date so much. I’d lose my mind worrying about all these stupid rules and cheating and lying. When I was young, either you wanted to be with someone or you didn’t.”

“Yeah, well, it should still be like that. Cheaters are the lowest form of humans.” She paused when she caught the shocked look in her mother’s eyes. “I mean, it sucks. People shouldn’t do that.”

Vivian studied her for another minute, but didn’t press for more information. Cynthia should have known better than to saw anything. The words kept pouring out, but she wasn’t going to explain. She didn’t have the guts to say the words out loud.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Cynthia nodded but wasn’t ready to talk yet. She kept her lips clamped shut until her mom moved on.

“Where are you and Henry going tonight?”

“I don’t know. What’s open on a Thursday night around here?”

Vivian scoffed. “You make it sound like we live in such a horrible place. Everything is open on a Thursday night. All the restaurants in town, movie theater, the bowling alley, some of the shops. And Ithaca is close enough that if you’re bored with all Bereton has to offer you can go there.”

Cynthia grinned at her mother’s Chamber of Commerce speech. She hated when Cynthia accused Bereton of being a boring little town. It was, but there was a charm in the town that she refused to see when she was growing up. It was more and more obvious as an adult.

“I’m just messing with you, Mom. We always find plenty to do.”

“Are you coming home tonight?”

“Mom!”

“What?” Vivian asked innocently. “I just want to know if I should leave a light on for you. You’re old enough that I don’t expect you to check in or keep to a curfew.”

“I will be home, Mom.”

“Okay. I’ll leave a light on. But I’ll lock the doors just in case you decide to stay at Henry’s tonight.”

“Mom, are you trying to get me to sleep with him?”

“No. Definitely not. But I’m not foolish enough to think you aren’t or won’t be eventually.”

“I’m not sleeping with him, Mom.”

“Yet,” Vivian said, leaving the room.

Cynthia’s phone buzzed on the table. Henry’s text said he was almost there. She slipped on a jacket and shoved her feet into her boots and was ready when Henry pulled in the driveway. She called bye to her mom and rushed out the door, bracing herself against the snow falling. She jumped into Henry’s Jeep and brushed the snow from her hair and coat.

“Hey,” Henry said, leaning over to kiss her. Cynthia accepted his kiss, moaning softly when he cupped her throat and pulled her in closer. By the time Henry pulled back they were both panting. “Damn.”

“Yeah,” she breathed. “So, um, where are we going?”

“I was thinking we could go to The Drunken Grape.”

Cynthia’s eyebrows lifted and she choked on whatever answer came to mind.

“No?”

“Um, you’re joking, right?”

Henry shook his head. “No. I’m not hiding you from my family. And I’m not shying away from Zach. I’m not the pushover I was when we were growing up.”

Cynthia was more than a little shocked by the vehemence in his voice, but also by the words he said. She never saw Henry as a pushover and wondered why he thought that of himself.

“I just think maybe we should avoid throwing our relationship in his face.”

“If that’s what you want. I just figure he’s being a d**k because he’s so overworked. We’re trying to hire someone new and he’s pissy about that. I feel bad for any woman who sets her sights on Zach. She’ll never get him to settle down.”

Cynthia grinned. “You always wanted a family. I was almost surprised when I found out you weren’t married.”

Henry shook his head and turned toward town instead of the vineyard. “Never found someone I wanted to be with like that.”

Cynthia nodded, understanding exactly what he meant. When she was with Kevin, her ex, she still didn’t see them lasting forever. She thought she loved him, but she never could picture marrying him and having a family.

Henry parked behind Ann’s and they got out. The smell of greasy diner food got stronger as they walked around, making Cynthia’s stomach rumble. When they reached the warmth of the diner, her mouth was watering.

A waitress in a pink poodle skirt, white button-down shirt, and white sneakers pointed to a table for them to sit at as she walked by with a tray of food. “I’ll be right with ya,” she said.

Henry extended his arm for Cynthia to precede him and helped her out of her jacket. They slid into the booth and reached for the menus stuck behind the napkin holder.

“I’m so hungry,” Cynthia admitted, then cringed. “I’m not supposed to eat though, am I?”

“Why shouldn’t you eat?” Henry asked, thoroughly confused.

“Guys like skinny women, right? I should get a salad and push it around my plate.”

“If you do that, we’re never going out again.”

Cynthia chuckled. “Don’t worry. I like food too much to order just a salad.”

“Yeah, me too, unfortunately.”

Cynthia studied Henry. He was hot. Leaps and bounds more attractive than the chubby guy he was growing up. But she loved him then. She loved the friend he was. She thought of him as her best friend. She loved him.

What he looked like didn’t matter when they were kids, and she realized it didn’t matter as adults either.