Everything She Never Wanted

Chapter 12

12

Zach stomped into Dillon’s office behind Henry, clearly pissed off to be away from his kitchen.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Dillon said. “I want to hire another person to work with you.”

Zach tossed Henry a glare before he said, “I don’t need the help.”

“You work around the clock,” Henry argued.

“I enjoy what I do.”

“And we appreciate that,” Dillon said carefully. “But you’re going to work yourself to death. What if you meet a woman? Or knock someone up?”

Zach snorted. “I’ll never settle, and I always rubber up.”

“s**t happens.”

Zach huffed.

“Listen. We want to help. We want you to have some time off. To enjoy life.”

“Am I not doing well enough?”

Dillon shook his head. “This is not about your talents, and you know it. We don’t want anyone else in the kitchen and all the guests love your food. You’ll burn out. It’s been less than a year since you took over everything on your own. We don’t want you to end up sick because you don’t ever get a day off.”

Zach huffed again, then glared at Henry.

“I know you’re pissed off. I don’t care right now. You work more hours than all of us. It’s not right. Dillon said there’s money to make this work. Take it. Hire someone. No one is going to force someone on you.”

“Yes,” Dillon said, stepping in. “You’ll get to hire who you want. Your call. Help me write an ad and I’ll get it loaded up and bring you all the applications. I’d like someone in place by the spring. Before the busy season starts.”

Zach took a deep breath and nodded. “Fine. I get final say.”

“Yes.”

“And you’ll stay out of it?” he asked with a look at Henry.

“Yes.”

“Fine. We’ll talk later. Right now I need to get back to the kitchen.”

“Don’t leave without seeing me.”

“Fine,” Zach said, then left.

“Well,” Dillon said when Zach was gone. “That went well.”

Henry snorted. “About as well as I expected.”

“True, very true.”

Cynthia checked herself in the mirror and immediately felt silly. She’d never dressed up for Henry before.

But before things were different between them. She didn’t think of him the same way when they were in high school. He was her buddy. Someone she could look her worst in front of and not think twice about it. Now though? Now he was someone she wanted to share her bed with. Someone she wanted to impress.

She left her room, smelling the stuffed chicken in the oven. Her stomach growled, reminding her she’d been so busy fixing dinner when she got home that she never bothered to eat a snack.

A quick peek in the fridge revealed very little tempting. She was as nervous as she was hungry, and that didn’t inspire much in the way of snacking.

“What are you looking for?” her mom said from behind her.

Cynthia turned and shrugged. “Just hungry.”

“Is Henry going to be here soon?”

Cynthia nodded. “He should be.”

“You look very nice for a quiet dinner at home.”

Cynthia smoothed a hand down her mottled blue dress. When she first saw it in the store, she loved the dress. It hid her curves in just the right places, giving her more of an hourglass figure than a pear shape. The skirt fell above her knees, giving her short legs the illusion of being longer. She also added a simple pair of drop pearl earrings and a delicate pearl necklace.

“Thanks.”

“I take it you’re trying to spice things up with Henry again.”

Cynthia shrugged again. “I don’t know. He’s different. And I’m different. And after how poorly things ended with Kevin, I like feeling like he wants me.”

“Be careful, Cynthia. Henry Wilson is not rebound material.”

“I know,” she said with a sigh. “But I’m not staying here forever. So he can’t be more than that either.”

The doorbell saved Cynthia from whatever her mother’s answer was going to be. They held each other’s gaze for a second, then Cynthia turned to let Henry in.

The cold air ran straight up her skirt and chilled her where her lace panties couldn’t keep her warm. She backed away from the door, rubbing her arms. Henry stepped inside and closed the door behind himself.

“Hey,” he said, leaning down to kiss her cheek.

Cynthia wanted to turn her head at the last second and get his kiss on her lips, but she was starting to feel like she was pushing for more than he was. Maybe he didn’t enjoy what happened last time. Or maybe he didn’t want a repeat. Or maybe he was just horny and she was convenient.

“Hey,” she answered when he pulled back. He bent down to untie his boots, then shrugged out of his coat, hanging it on the hook behind him like he’d done a thousand times before. When he looked back at her, his eyes glanced over her before traveling around the living room.

“This place looks exactly the same. It’s like stepping back in time.”

Henry walked into the room, scanning the pictures that had been there forever. Cynthia stood watching him, wondering why he was as cold as the Bereton winter.

“I remember when you came home from this trip,” he said, picking up one of the pictures. “You were so convinced you were going to move to a big city. It killed me to know I’d lose you one day, but I couldn’t say anything because I knew it made you happy.”

Was that what was happening again? Was he afraid to get too close because she was leaving? Cynthia couldn’t help but wonder if that was exactly it. He’d just lost his father. She didn’t compare, but when she left again, their friendship wouldn’t be the same. It couldn’t be.

Which meant he’d lose her again. And she’d lose him.

“It was so different there,” Cynthia said, moving closer to look at the picture. Her mom first took her to New York City when she was a sophomore in high school. She loved the huge buildings and the hustle of everything. It invigorated her in a way nothing in Bereton ever had. She loved her little town, but she wanted something to swallow her up. A place where she wouldn’t be the product of a deadbeat dad and a single mother. Someplace where people wouldn’t judge her based on things that were outside her control.

“I knew then that I would lose you. I never should have tried to hold on to you. I was a fool for telling you I loved you.”

The words hurt more than Cynthia cared to admit. She didn’t want him to have any regrets about them. Past or present. “No one besides my mom ever told me that before,” she admitted. “It was a little overwhelming.”

She couldn’t tell him the rest, but she could tell him enough to make him understand that it wasn’t because of him that she couldn’t fall in love with him. It was all because of her.

“Not even Easton?”

Cynthia shook her head. “Easton didn’t know how to love someone. At least, he didn’t know how to love me.”

“Well, I guess I’m glad you knew I loved you.”

He flashed her a smile and headed out of the room. She followed him, her heart aching that he didn’t love her anymore. She wasn’t surprised, not really, but it hurt. She held on to the knowledge that someone out there loved her for years. Even though she knew she hurt him, she reminded herself that he loved her. She never told anyone, but she kept his note, and read it when she was feeling particularly lonely.

Knowing he didn’t love her now was hard, but she would be there for him. He needed someone outside his family. Someone who didn’t have contact with his dad. She was probably one of the few people who didn’t make him think of his father constantly.

She was a temporary balm. A position she would fill as long as possible for him.

Cynthia heard Henry greet her mom and compliment her on how beautiful she was. It made no sense that she was jealous of his words. He barely even noticed her dress, let alone the woman inside the dress. She wore it to impress him. To entice him. And he’d barely even glanced at her.

When Cynthia walked into the kitchen, Henry told Vivian how delicious dinner smelled.

“Well, I’d love to accept that compliment, but Cynthia cooked tonight.”

Henry turned to her and smiled, not repeating the words. She forced a grin, but felt the strain of it straight to her bones.

Getting involved with Henry was a bad idea. She was insane to think she could just be friends with him again. Or have a fling with him. He was Henry. Not some random guy. He was the one guy she ever imagined throwing away everything for. The one guy she knew she’d give up her dreams for. Walking away from Bereton when she was growing up was exponentially harder because it meant walking away from Henry. The one guy she never let herself love.

And it was too late for them.

Cynthia suffered through Henry and her mom catching up. They talked about town events and the people they both knew. Cynthia quietly dished out plates of food, hoping her dinner was good. She opened a bottle of wine and poured herself a healthy glass of the Amavita Estates Gewürztraminer that she loved. She knew she wouldn’t be able to drink it again once she said goodbye to Henry.

Everyone sat down to dinner at the tiny table in the kitchen. Cynthia listened some more as Henry caught her mom up on everyone at the vineyard. Alyssa and Jake’s wedding. Andie and Cody’s new romance. Jo’s breakdown the weekend before. It killed Cynthia to hear. She needed to go see Mrs. Wilson again. Bring her something. Maybe something from Tim’s honey shop.

When they finished dinner, Henry and Vivian insisted they clean up the kitchen since Cynthia cooked. Feeling like a third wheel, she left them alone to talk and laugh and enjoy each other’s company.

She sunk into a seat in the living room feeling lost. Henry was the only person she’d spoken with since she’d been back. She’d lost touch with her high school friends, the few she had. She had no interest in seeing most of them. Her few exes were definitely not people she wanted to look up. And chances were no one she’d known in high school had any desire to reconnect with her.

Moving back, Henry was on her mind every day. She wanted to see him but knew she had no right to reach out to him. When Mr. Wilson died, she couldn’t stay away. Sitting in the living room, alone, part of her wished she had.

A door slammed in the back of the house, startling her. Footsteps padded down the hall from the kitchen toward where she sat in the dark. When the couch dipped next to her, she knew it was Henry by the scent that filled her lungs, a scent she’d never associated with anyone but him. It was a little spicy, but subtle. His own natural scent, probably his soap, and maybe a touch of cologne. She doubted the last one though.

“Why are you in the dark?”

She shrugged. “Didn’t feel like turning on a light.”

Henry didn’t say anything, just sat with her.

“Did my mom leave?”

“Yes. She said she had something to do.”

Cynthia nodded. “She’s dating someone, you know.” She knew she sounded snarky and jealous. It wasn’t fair to Henry, but she couldn’t help it.

He laughed. Actually f*****g laughed at her.

“Why are you laughing?”

He laughed harder.

She got up to leave, but he grabbed her hand. She tried to yank it free of his grasp, but he held her tighter. His laughter faded, and he stood.

“I don’t want your mom.”

She shrugged. “I don’t care if you do.”

“Really? Then why are you acting all jealous and throwing your mom’s boyfriend in my face?”

“I just want to make sure you know you have competition.”

“Any competition I have is trying to warm your bed, not your mother’s.”

“You don’t want me, Henry. You already told me that.”

“I did? I don’t recall that conversation.”

“Before dinner,” Cynthia huffed. “You said you made a mistake telling me you loved me. That you shouldn’t have tried to hold on to me.”

“Ah, and that means I don’t want you?”

“It sure sounded like it.”

He pinned her arm behind her back and pressed their bodies together before she could take another breath. She gasped when she felt him hard between them. He thrust against her, confirming what she thought, and making her gasp again.

“That’s not because of your mother, Cynthia,” he growled. “And if you think I don’t want you, you’re blind.”

“You’ve barely paid me any attention all night.”

He laughed mirthlessly. “Because you’re teasing me with this dress. I almost turned around and left when I saw what you were wearing. Did you really think something like this wouldn’t make me want to carry you off to your bedroom and find out what’s underneath? But your mother is here. Was here. If I looked at you for too long, I got hard. If I talked to you, I got hard. If I let myself breathe you in, I got hard.”

He pressed his nose to her throat and inhaled deep. His c**k twitched against her belly. Her panties soaked through. The way he held her and the way his rough voice slithered down her spine turning her on more than she’d ever been in her life.

“You have two choices right now. You can tell me to get out, and I’ll go. Or you can let me show you just how much you’ve been driving me crazy all night. Your choice, Cynthia.”

“Show me,” she whispered.

Henry knew he was in trouble when she whispered those two little words. If he really showed her, he’d tear her dress in half and plunge into her right there in the living room. He had to dial it back a bit.

He scooped her up, tossing her over his shoulder. He took advantage of her loose skirt, and the way it flipped up onto her back, and palmed her lace covered a*s. His fingers teased down to her thigh and in between as he carried her to her bedroom. He could feel how soaked the lace was, which only made him harder and more impatient for her.

In her bedroom, he kicked the door shut and locked it, just in case. Her bedroom was exactly the same, like a time capsule that reminded him of who she was in high school. Pictures of them adorned her mirror, but pictures of her with Easton were there, too. Her mom was featured also, front and center as one of her closest friends.

The walls had posters of boy bands from their youth. Her bed was still covered in yellow and pink ruffles.

But Henry didn’t care about any of that. He only had eyes for the chocolate haired beauty on his shoulder.

He slowly lowered her from his shoulder, capturing her thighs and wrapping her legs around his waist. When she hooked her feet behind his back, he knew she was on board with whatever he had in mind.

He cupped her jaw with one hand, loving the sigh she gave him before he pressed his lips to hers. He wanted her hard and fast, but it wasn’t a night for that. He knew denying himself was only making things worse, but he couldn’t f**k her. She was more to him than that. And he didn’t jump into relationships without thinking them through. s*x? Sure. But more? No, that had to be carefully planned.

With Cynthia’s legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, he walked to her bed. When his knees hit the edge, he slowly lowered them to the mattress. Cynthia kept her legs around him, urging him to stay close.

He wasn’t going anywhere.

He ran his hands up her thighs, loving the feel of her soft skin beneath his fingers. Goosebumps rose on her flesh, and she trembled beneath him. He wanted her to lose control. To forget about everything except him. He wanted to make sure when she left this time, it was his mouth, his hands, his c**k, that she dreamed about when she touched herself. That it was his face in her mind when she closed her eyes. Him that she pictured when whatever man she was with wasn’t getting her off quickly enough. He knew she’d never be his forever, but he could be in her mind forever.

He lifted her from the bed and pulled her dress up and over her head. She resisted when he grabbed her ankles, but he tugged at them, needing to see all of her. She laid on the bed, her dark hair creating a halo against the light colors of her bedspread. Blue lace panties and a matching b*a stood out against her pale skin, highlighting her best parts. He had to taste her. Everywhere.

He started with her breasts, capturing first one, then the other. He knew the lace rasped against her n*****s as he sucked on them, teasing her that much more. When he moved the lace aside and laved her n*****s, she moaned and arched into him, pressing her full breasts deeper into his waiting mouth.

He sucked hard, drawing her n****e in and rolling it against the roof of his mouth. She moaned again, clutching at his head and holding him where she wanted him. He smiled against her skin, then pushed her hands aside and went to the other breasts. He repeated his movements, loving that her hips moved with his tongue, seeking him as he teased her. He lowered one hand to her hip, startling her. When she forgot it was there, he moved it to her center, pressing between her thighs.

“Yes,” she moaned, the sound pouring from deep within her. “Please Henry. Make me come.”

“With pleasure,” he said with a satisfied grin.