The last letter

chapter 5-John POV

I gulp down the last bit of whiskey

Slamming the glass on the table as I look at my mother in law, she startled

Martha is crying and I can see I frightend her as well. It is good, she must be scared of me, maybe then she will listen.

I am not like ricky anymore, they have no idea what he nor I was like.

It hurts, but we men were tought not to express any feelings, the only way I can express them now is through anger.

I take my keys and slam the front door

I will leave the house gladly, I never liked my mother in law anyway. But this, saying I am not welcome anymore, I never thought she could be capeable of saying such things.

I start my SUV and drive away from the house, I know I am speeding but who gives a rats ass.

I almost hit another vehicle, was that Emma? Who knows, I'm to drunk to care, and lucky for me, she doesn't seem to know it was me, to busy caring for that trouble makes McCarthy.

I pull up to the pub, the same one me and rick always came to back in the day. Inside the place looks different, new furniture, different girls serving alcohol, but they look just like the old ones, short skirts and tops that don't cover much, just like hooters girls.

That's the reason we came to this bar after every "Job" for the girls. It all came back to me suddenly, the stealing, the shooting, the drug smuggling , the using of cocaine and m*******a -who am I kidding with these fance words, we smoked weed- the beating up of people also came to mind, and then just like yesterday, I remembered the day I met Martha, I knew she didn't belong in this place, I fell in love with her right there and then.

"Double whiskey on the rocks please."

The bartender gives me my whiskey, her cleavage almost popping out of her top.

Martha was different in every way, she was lost, and I helped her to find the bar she and her friends aswell as her popular rich ass boyfriend was looking for. I remember thinking, if he loved her so much he wouldn't be staring at these gals and handing her over to me on a silver platter.

She was so loyal to him, until he cheated on her with Elsie the waitres from this very bar.

She came running to me, crying, I was high as a kite that day, covered in blood from the old man we almost beat to death.

I promised her I would change.

Ricky wasn't happy, he had nobody to run with anymore, 'The bussiness would not survive you quiting" he told me, I didn't care, I was inlove, I saw my way out.

He then got that high school girl pregnant. Of course I had to help with the trouble that came after.

We beat and old man and his wife to death, just to find out it was the wrong folks all the time. Her parents lived two houses away. Lucky for us, we got away.

He loved that girl, I know because even though I warned him to stop messing with her, he didn't stop, he always said the child was a mistake.

Martha doesn't know this but even after I told her I would change, I still helped ricky, I gave him money every once in a while to get out of trouble, and that once time, I remember it clear as day. We were in houston for the summer again, me and carl were heading out to get an icecream, rick called me, his wife has been shot, carl was 12 at the time, Emma was 6, luckily she wanted to stay at home. I rushed over to ricks house to find his wife covered in her own blood om the floor, the house was trashed, she was shot and beaten to death, ricky was sitting next to her with her head on his lap, it was the first time I saw him cry, "Johnny please do something" I couldn't do anything but tell him we will get revenge, Aaron was upstairs hiding in the closet, ricky was furious that he didn't do something to help his mother.

I covered her lifeless body with a sheet, I dropped Carl off at the icecream parlor and gave him some money.

Ricky didn't tell me why they had killed his wife until after.

Ricky snuff some cocaine before we got into the truck.

We parked the truck and kicked open the door, we shot every one of them that day.

But revenge isn't a cure for a broken heart. We went to his house and cleaned up the mess.

Ricky started beating Aaron, but I stopped him.

Which now I regret doing.

A few years later, ricky needed help again, after I helped him, we got some drinks and got high, he went to kill the rest of the guys involved with his wife's murder, I know this because he told me, because I watched him get into the truck and drive off, because I begged him to let it go. He didn't shoot himself, they made it look like an accident. He was like a brother to me.

That day, that was the day I truly changed for the better.

And now Emma is going to make the same mistake as her mother, as Aaron's mother.

I will not let it happen, I must do something, no matter the cost.

"Another" I tell the bartender