Dawn Of Rebellion Collection

19. Dawn

Long day doesn"t begin to describe what today has been. I"m completely zonked.

The heat from the fire feels nice against my skin. A log bench isn"t a comfortable bed. I noticed that we haven"t been offered any other lodgings, so I"m just going to have to make do with it. I guess I"ve had worse.

It"s a beautiful night. Even through the trees, I can see the sky is dazzling. The stars continue to amaze me out here. If I could forget for just a moment where I was and why I was here, I might not want to go back. These are my last thoughts as I drift off to sleep.

I wake to the soft pounding of drums. The rhythm is soothing. I open my eyes and see that the world is still dark.

It must be the early hours of the morning; too early for the sun to have risen.

“Hey, sleepyhead. They wake you up too?” Drew is sitting on the opposite side of the fire from me. When he sees that I"m awake he gets up and comes over to me. I have to sit up to make room for him.

“What are they doing?” I rub the last bit of sleep from my eyes to catch a better glimpse. A group of people is standing in a circle around the fallen bear that I"d totally forgotten about until now. They are holding hands and saying something. We"re only close enough to catch occasional words that can slip through the sound of the drums. “We pray to you? What does that mean?”

At that moment, Lee walks up behind us. “They"re praying for the soul of the bear and thanking the Lord for bringing it to us. Useless if you ask me. Sam brought us that bear, not some almighty tool.” He leaves without letting either of us get a word in. I"m still confused. Who"s their Lord? And what is a soul?

“Did you understand any of that Drew?” He looks over at me as if trying to decide what to say. It takes him a minute to say anything at all.

“Dawn, do you believe in God?” I"m at a loss. This is the last thing I expected to come out of this boy"s mouth.

“Shite, Drew. Of course not. It"s forbidden.” I don"t know why, but I"m whispering. It"s silly really, it"s not like we"ll be overheard and thrown in prison.

“I know it"s f*******n. I didn"t ask that. Believing isn"t something you do just because you"re allowed to.”

That"s when it hits me. “Do you?” I accuse.

He doesn"t even hesitate before simply stating, “Yes.”

I don"t know what to say. His father is the district commander. I"ve seen what happens to religious rebels in London. Religious people aren"t to be trusted, only feared. That"s common sense. Most of history"s wars were started because of these nutters. Is this boy that I have come to know and possibly trust one of them? I need some time to think.

I struggle until I"m standing on my one good leg and try to hobble away.

“Dawn please stay here and talk to me,” Drew pleads.

“I was starting to trust you, but this is too much. I never thought you were this daft.” I say.

“You can"t believe everything we have been told about God and his followers. You already know what our government is capable of. Can"t you imagine, just for one second, that they lied to us about this too?”

“I just need to go. Don"t follow me,” I stammer before hopping over to the cabin.

I sit down, lean my back against the side of the building, and think. How could I have been so stupid? Ever since my dad died, I have only ever let myself trust one person, Gabby. I should"ve kept to that. Sure, I probably never would"ve made it this far without Drew; and sure, he isn"t bad company to have, but to trust him like I have? What am I going to do? Is it possible that he"s right about our government? I close my eyes and rub my temples, hoping for some clarity. Drew rounds the corner and sits next to me. I thought I told him not to follow me. I don"t look at him as he wraps an arm around my shoulders.

“I know it"s a lot to think about,” he says.

“Then why don"t you just let me think,” I snap. I instantly feel bad for my attitude. “Sorry.”

Realizing how close we are, I"m suddenly very uncomfortable. I pull away so that we"re sitting farther apart. He lets his arm drop without saying anything or trying to stop me. I can"t look at him so I fix my eyes firmly on the ground.

“It"s because of my brother, why I believe.” His voice is no more than a whisper. He sounds so vulnerable in this moment that I can"t help but raise my eyes to his and keep them there.

“Brother?” I ask softly. “I didn"t think you had any siblings.” Now I feel like a proper b***h.

“Nobody did. Best kept secret in London.” His attempt at a smile fails. “My father had an affair soon after he married my mother. My older brother was the product of that. When we were young, my father would have James, that was his name, spend summers with us. We grew really close. As we got older, James became less welcome in my father"s house. Eventually, I had to sneak out just to go see him.”

“Are you still close?”

“We were. He was everything to me, kind of like Gabby is to you. He taught me to trust in God and in the knowledge that he is always there. My father never understood that. He tried to tell me that James wasn"t who he seemed. I didn"t believe him.”

“Where is he now?” I think I know the answer because I know what the punishment for religion is, but I"m hoping I"m wrong. I"m hoping that the district commander wouldn"t do that to his own son.

Drew doesn"t speak right away. I can see the pain in his face at what he is about to say. “He sent him here. I was caught sneaking out of my father"s house to visit him. My father knew about James" belief in God, but he didn"t do anything about it until he feared that I might be influenced. It was my fault.” Drew lowers his eyes and thinks before continuing. “A few months ago, I found a letter in my father"s office saying that James had escaped over here, his whereabouts unknown. I have to know what happened. After we help Gabby, I"m hoping we can find out.” I grab Drew"s hand and we sit in silence.

Maybe I wasn"t wrong to trust Drew. There"s a depth to him that I"ve never seen before. In England, we"re also taught that the colonies are a place filled with barbarians and criminals. We already know that is partially untrue. What else am I wrong about?

I interlock my fingers with Drew"s and look down upon them. It"s time for me to trust him the way he just trusted me. “My father was killed in an accident. Just a freak car thing. My mother might still be alive, but we wouldn"t know. The day dad died, she left us. She just started walking and never looked back. We were little and now all of a sudden, we were on our own. We spent a long time moving from place to place so that no one could find us and separate us into different homes. Gabby always took care of me.”

I always feared telling anyone the truth because of that one look they would give me; pity. They would tell me how sorry they were for everything my sister and I had been through. That"s why Gabby and I made a pact never to tell anyone. Sorry, Gabs. I look up and Drew has no pity in his eyes. There"s something else that I can"t place.

Sorry, Gabs.As I"m about to turn away despite everything I"m feeling, Drew removes his hand from mine. He lightly brushes one hand down my cheek and tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear. Then, ever so slowly, he leans towards me and our lips meet. Something stirs deep inside of me as his warm lips move over mine. I want more. I need more.

But Drew isn"t mine to have, so I pull away, instantly missing that connection.

“Drew, we can"t.”

“You"re right. I know you are, it"s just, Dawn…” I watch him search for the words, but don"t let him finish.

“Don"t say it.”

“Hey, guys.” Sam has found us and seems to be unaware that he"s interrupting anything. I use this as an escape.

“Sam, can you help me to a place where I can sleep?”

“Yep!” He offers me his arm to get up, “Little lady?”

Sam helps me limp back to the fire and a place to sleep, leaving Drew sitting on the ground looking lost.