For Love Or Country

Two

Then - Aislinn

“Your home is just beautiful, Your Majesty!” the new Queen says, eyes wide.

“I can’t believe I’ve never seen your closet before,” Jessamine twirls in a circle.

“Please, call me Aislinn. We are both Queens, and we are allies. Besides, you will find you tire of always hearing ‘Your Majesty’.” I say.

“Oh, I don’t know. I haven’t even gotten used to responding to it yet!” she says, sounding exasperated.

“It will come, you’re only two weeks in,” I laugh, “Shall I call you “Majesty” to help you get used to it, then?”

“Definitely not! Please call me Kiki,” she says looking horrified at the idea. We both laugh at that.

“Kiki is such an interesting name, is it a nickname?” I ask.

“Yes, my father always called me Kiki, my given name is Kalinda.”

“That’s a lovely name. It’s so refreshing to hear names from other parts of the world.” I say, meaning it. Jessamine nods her agreement as she tries on a pair of sunglasses in the vanity mirror.

“Do you mind if I ask you something, Aislinn?” Kiki says, suddenly looking nervous.

“Of course not!” I say.

“I don’t mean to pry, I just wondered…” Kiki hesitates, “Do you think you will select the next King, or let it come to a vote?”

“Oh! Well. I was not expecting you to ask that,” I say evasively.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to overstep!” Kiki says looking down and fidgeting with her necklace.

Jessamine gives a laugh, “You have to be kidding, Ash, that’s all anyone has been asking. And you,” she slides the sunglasses down the bridge of her nose and turns to look over the frames at Kiki.

“You are a Queen now. Stop apologizing.” She pushes the sunglasses back into place and flashes a grin. Kiki grins back, she seems to like Jessamine’s brand of bluntness.

“It’s just been so long since any country has elected a Royal! It would be the first election in our lifetime!” Kiki says with the enthusiasm of someone whose title does not hang in the balance of this decision.

“Indeed it would.” I say carefully. It occurs to me that Kiki’s excitement over a possible election must be shared by all Commoners the world over. Maybe it would be good for Smaragaid to have an election? I certainly have enough to handle without worrying about a King. And a wedding, I think.

“So an election, then?” Jessamine asks casually as she applies one of my lip glosses. I glare at her, and she smiles innocently back. She stands and crosses over to the wall of scarves, touching every single one.

“I do have another question, but I’m afraid it might be painful for you to think about.” Kiki says quietly then.

“It’s alright, you can ask me anything,” I say reassuringly, “But there are some things I cannot answer, please understand.”

“I do understand, I have spent the last two days in sensitivity training,” she says, eyes wide in mock seriousness.

“Ah, yes, a very important step in becoming a true Royal.” I say.

“Tsk, tsk, matters of diplomacy and Royal security are not a joke!” Jessamine says in the perfect imitation of Collin’s voice. She holds up her wrists, which she’s looped a scarf around to make handcuffs. We all burst out laughing.

“I don’t think it’s a matter of security, but...You were very young when your parents died, right?” Kiki asks after a minute.

“Yes,” I say, sobering. “I was eight years old.”

“It was the most heartbreaking thing. Well, until recently,” Jessamine amends with a frown. “I remember when they brought you and Keera to us, Keera was kicking and screaming that she wanted to stay in Tocht with Liam and his father. But you didn’t say anything to anyone at all for months.”

Jessamine was only seven when my parents died, I’m surprised she remembers even that much about it. I wanted to stay in Tocht, too, but General Neale, Collin’s father, said it wasn’t safe for us there until he could confirm that Tocht wasn’t involved in our parents’ death. Merial couldn’t come with us, as the next Queen of Smaragaid, she had to stay in a secure and secret location. Since no one was listening to us, I guess I didn’t see the point in bothering to talk to anyone.

“You were the youngest of three, right? So you weren’t raised to be Queen?” Kiki asks.

“I was raised to be a Queen, just not Queen of Smaragaid,” I say.

“All Princes and Princesses not destined for their own throne, marry someone who is. Like me.” Jessamine says matter-of-factly, wrapping a scarf around her neck. She’s the fifth daughter in her family, she’s engaged to Prince Nikos of Hellas. “It’s why elections are so rare.”

“Yes, like Keera was meant to marry Liam. I hope you don’t resent me,” Kiki says, biting her bottom lip.

“Of course I don’t! Don’t think like that, Kiki. Keera and Liam…” my voice trails off and I swallow hard. “Well, that hardly matters. What matters is that you and Liam are happy.”

“And based on the way he glows when he talks about you, I’d say he’s pretty damn happy. If anyone is out there suggesting Aislinn hates you for marrying Liam, you bring them to me,” Jessamine says from the wall of hat boxes. “Because we’re not having that.”

Kiki studies me for a moment. I don’t hate her, truly. It will just take some time to get used to seeing Liam with someone other than Keera. They were practically joined at the hip from the time I could walk. I wonder how much Liam has told her about Keera. About the day Keera and Merial and his father died.

“But you still find yourself unexpectedly in this position?” she asks finally.

“Yes, you’re right. It is the last title I ever expected to hold,” I answer.

“Do you ever…” she pauses, and has a far away look in her eyes. Unfocused, almost. The pause stretches, and I’m about to prompt her to continue when she suddenly finishes, “Do you ever feel alone?”

“Yes. More than you know,” I say honestly.

“I’m sorry, I know it isn’t the same for you because I can at least see my family at some point, I didn’t mean-”

I hold up my hand to stop her. “It’s not a contest, you can say you miss your family and I don’t feel as though you’re taking away from my loss.”

Kiki looks like she might hug me, or cry, or possibly both. Jessamine returns to the vanity, hat in hand and looks at us with an eyebrow raised.

“Ok, you two are seriously killing my vibe. After the Coronation, you are both coming to Castle Albion for a girl’s week. Non-negotiable.” she says, plopping down onto the stool.

A sharp knock sounds at the outer door of my bedroom, and I recognize the pattern as Collin’s.

“You may enter, Captain Neale,” I call.

“Ooh, she even knows it’s Collin,” Jessamine taunts in a singsong voice, trying on the sunhat. Kiki looks back and forth between us with eyebrows raised in interest. I roll my eyes and shake my head. Thanks, Jess, I think.

Collin crosses through my bedroom and stops at the door of the closet. “Beg pardon, Majesties, Your Highness,” he says, but stops when he notices Jessamine posing in the mirror. He puts in a valiant effort to fight the grin, but when she blows herself a kiss, he loses the battle.

“Princess Jessamine, your father is ready to depart,” he says, barely keeping the laughter out of his voice.

“Well tell him I say good-bye,” she says with a dismissive wave.

“I will not, thank you,” he replies.

“Ugh, fiiiiine,” she drawls, yanking the hat off.

“I believe the kitchen has your popcorn ready for you, as well,” Collin says with a devilish smile that shows his dimples.

Jessamine jumps up and squeals, “It’s late, but I’ll take it!” She unwinds the scarf and tosses it on the vanity table with the hat. She replaces her tiara into her hair. “I’m keeping these, though,” she says, holding up the sunglasses

“Go right ahead, they’re Keera’s,” I shrug. Then the weight of that sentence hits me. Kiki starts playing with her necklace again, but Jessamine goes still.

“You can have them back when you come to Castle Albion after Coronation,” she says and slides the sunglasses on. I can tell she is trying to keep it light, but there’s a stilted quality to her voice.

“Kiki, darling, so nice to meet you,” Jessamine gives Kiki a quick hug, “Make sure she comes. One week after the Coronation, I expect to see both your faces at my door.”

“Yes, Princess,” Kiki says with a curtsy.

“Nope,” Jessamine says walking over to me, “Queens don’t do that either.”

“She’s right,” Collin adds, leaning on the door frame, “though I’m not sure what else it is they don’t do if this is “either”, and I’m not sure if I’d trust Jess…”

Jessamine stops with her arms mid-air where she was about to hug me and turns to Collin with narrowed eyes.

“You shouldn’t trust me,” she says to him, then turns to Kiki, “But you can.”

“Why can she trust you, but I can’t?” Collin asks, crossing his arms.

“Because for one thing, Collin Wesley Neale,” he winces at her use of his full name, “I know all your secrets. And for another, I’d break your heart,” she says, and marches past him with a flip of her hair.

“Did I just lose out on a hug because of a fight with Collin?” I demand.

“Yep,” Jessamine says from the other room. “Bye, love!”

“See you at the tea tomorrow!” I say.

Kiki is still standing where Jessamine hugged her, looking a little dazed.

“Everything alright, Your Majesty?” Collin asks her.

“I just didn’t realize you guys were so normal,” she says, a slow smile spreading across her face. “Not normal Royals, but like, normal normal.”

Jessamine starts giggling from my bedroom, Collin and I look at each other, eyes sparkling.

“Normal normal,” he says, “Wow. Thank you, Your Majesty.” With that he bows, and Jessamine and I completely dissolve into laughter. Kiki joins in, and even Collin gives a chuckle.

“We grew up together, all of us, and Liam,” I explain to Kiki. “There are any number of Royals who cringe to see us coming.”

Suddenly Collin straightens up and touches his ear piece, his face becoming serious again.

“Sorry to break up the fun, but the Tochtan delegation is ready to depart as well,” he says. “If you’ll come with me, Your Majesty, I will escort you and Princess Jessamine to your cars.”

“Of course,” Kiki says. “Thank you, Your Maj - Aislinn,” she corrects herself. “I really had a great evening, and your home is beautiful.”

“Oh, she didn’t even decorate it,” Jessamine says, peering around Collin at us. Collin puts his palm on her forehead and pushes her back into the other room.

“I’m glad you had a good time, I’ll see you at tea tomorrow!” I say, still laughing.

We walk back through my bedroom, and Collin holds the door for Jessamine and Kiki.

“I’ll check in after the gates are closed,” Collin says.

“Thank you,” I reply.

He closes the door behind him, but not even a full minute later, Kiki opens it and sticks her head in.

“He’s really cute!” she says with a wink, and leaves again. I can hear Jessamine laughing all the way down the corridor.

Now that I think about it, Collin is pretty hot. In my mind I can hear Jess saying, “Nope, Queens don’t think their Heads of Security are hot, either”. I blow out a breath and return to my closet. I survey the mess Jess made and sigh. I don’t want my assistant, Onora, to have to clean it up, so I start putting things back where they belong. Jess reminds me a lot of my Before self. She’s carefree, she’s secure in her place in the world, she has very few responsibilities outside of making Royal appearances. It definitely was a simpler time.

After I’ve straightened up the closet and dressing room, I place the crown back into its velvet-lined box and sit down at my vanity table. I pull the pins out of my hair and my thoughts drift back to Kiki. I make a mental note to ask her about her necklace tomorrow. I stand and step out of my ball gown, hanging it with other gowns to go to the cleaner. I grab my favorite steel-blue nightgown and as I pull it over my head I think, this is the same color as Collin’s eyes. I freeze, surprised by my own thoughts. Collin’s eyes? Since when do I compare my clothing to Collin’s eyes? I feel a blush creeping up my cheeks.

“Get it together, Aislinn,” I say to myself, and slip my arms into my robe. I’m walking into my bedroom when Collin knocks on the door. “You may enter, Collin,” I say, hoping my cheeks aren’t too red.

“All the guests have departed and the gates are secured, Princess,” he says after closing the door behind him.

“You know, at some point, you’ll have to get used to calling me “Queen”.”

“Apologies, my Queen,” he says dramatically. “You seem like you’re in a better mood.”

“I am! I would like to have lunch in the Rose Garden on Tuesday,” I say, crossing over to my desk to check my calendar.

“With me? I’m honored, Your Majesty,” he says looking stunned and slightly uncomfortable.

“Well, I suppose you’ll be there,” I laugh. “But I meant with the new Tochtan Queen.”

“Of course,” he says, visibly relaxing. “Did she mention how she is to be styled?”

“She didn’t, but it will be a wonder if they let her keep her name. It’s a shame, because Kalinda is such a great name,” I say, considering.

“As good as Princess Aislinn the Awesome?” he teases, referencing the title I insisted on for the entire year I was seven.

I pick up a pen and throw it at him, laughing. It misses, as always, and falls to the floor harmlessly.

“It’s good to see you laughing again, Ash.” he says as he picks it up.

“Oh come on, I haven’t been that miserable, have I?” I ask.

“Not where most people could see,” he says gently. I blink in surprise, and my cheeks blaze with heat.

“So, ah, I will get that lunch set up for you, is there anything else you need?” he asks.

“No, thank you Collin, that will be all.” I say, distractedly.

He nods and turns to leave, but stops. “One last thing, have you finalized plans for crowning a King?”

“No. You know I haven’t.” I say, giving him an icy glare.

“Well, I’ve been told I look good in a crown,” he says with a wink.

“Good night, Collin.” I roll my eyes.

“Majesty,” he chuckles as he leaves.

I lock the door and climb into bed and as I’m falling asleep I find myself wondering whether Collin really does look good in a crown…

**********************************************************************************************

Now - Kenzie



Keylin really is amazing, I think as I admire my reflection in the mirror. She brought a gorgeous red mermaid gown with an open back and plunging neckline that is sure to intimidate some of these princes right back to their mommies. Lady Keeva, my assistant, had pulled my hair back simply but elegantly into a chignon. I found the perfect ruby ring in the Crown jewels to match the dress, and then of course there’s my crown itself. Total power move, wearing the crown to an informal dinner.

Declan knocks on the door of my outer room and opens it, but doesn’t enter. “Princess? Are you almost ready?”

“Ready,” I say more to my reflection than to Declan. I walk out of my dressing room and say “You may come in, Declan.”

Declan pushes the door open the rest of the way and steps through, then stops. He gives a low, slow whistle.

“Damn, Kenz,” he says appreciatively.

“I know, Keylin is a miracle worker,” I say, smoothing hands down over my hips.

“You ready to break some hearts?” he asks with a grin.

“Breaking hearts and crushing dreams, two of my favorite things,” I smile back.

Declan offers his arm to escort me to dinner, and I take it. We walk in comfortable silence through the wing that houses the palace apartments toward the security elevator. When we reach the elevator, I look down the north corridor towards the closed portion of the palace. Declan keys in the code for the elevator, and notices the direction of my gaze.

“Have you really never been in there?” he asks.

“Have you?” I counter.

“I’m counting down the days to Coronation just so you can let us in,” he jokes.

I shiver. The closed portion of the palace is really just another hall of palace apartments, the old Queen’s apartments. The last Queen to occupy the apartments was Queen Aislinn. There’s a lot of ghost stories about this part of the palace, and the staff starting refusing to enter the rooms. That’s the real reason it’s closed, I’ve been assured it’s structurally sound. Although I know if it were truly haunted, simply saying “ok, we’re closing this wing, don’t come out” wouldn’t protect us from any vengeful spirits, and we definitely have never seen any evidence of ghosts, I still shiver at the thought of going in there. They say everything is exactly as Queen Aislinn left it.

“You’re not going to let us in there, are you?” Declan groans.

“Don’t be silly,” I say with a weak laugh. “I’m not going to avoid a whole wing of my own palace.”

“Uh-huh,” Declan says, deadpan.

“I mean it! I think it’s time to let this superstition go.”

“Uh-huh,” he repeats and the elevator doors open.

“Besides, that’s probably the best apartment in the whole palace. What a waste not to use it! I heard that the closet alone is worth facing any ghosts.” I say.

“Oh, you’ll go in for a closet but not for a dare?” he asks, holding the door for me.

“We were six!” I object, stepping into the elevator.

“And you’re still afraid,” he snickers and keys in the code to take us down.

“I’m not afraid, exactly. It’s just a little creepy.”

“Uh-huh.”

“If you say “uh-huh” one more time, Declan, I swear to the stars, I will feed you to any entities we find in there!” I say, crossing my arms.

“So we are going in there, then?”

I roll my eyes, “Yes, Declan. We’re going in there. I’m not going to have a creepy ghost wing in my home. That part of the palace will be functional again before the Harvest Feast.”

“Why not wait to open it on Harvest Feast? They say that’s when it’s easiest for ghosts to communicate with us.” The look on Declan’s face as he says it is part challenge, part teasing.

“Because on Harvest Feast, as your newly crowned Queen, I will have a lot of other responsibilities. And because I might want to move into that apartment sooner rather than later. I did mention the closet, right?” I say nonchalantly, running my finger tip just below my bottom lip. Declan’s eyes track the motion with a bemused expression.

“I suppose if it really is haunted, and you activate some curse by reopening that wing, you could always move to one of the other palaces.” Declan offers as the elevator slides to a stop.

“That’s ridiculous, Aontroma is the King’s seat.” I say dismissively, stepping through the elevator doors.

“And if you control the King line…” Declan doesn’t finish the sentence. I make a face at him. “Ok, what about one of the other palaces?”

“Mantan has been the Queen’s seat for nearly two centuries,” I say.

“Yes. And who moved it here?” Declan fires back.

“Queen Aislinn,” I say quietly, taking Declan’s arm again. I don’t typically spend a lot of time thinking about her, so it’s strange that our conversation keeps finding its way back to her.

“Are you worried about falling in love with one of these princes? I hear that Prince Anxo is a real treat on the dance floor.” Declan says trying to lighten the mood and bring out of my thoughts..

“I’m only worried about falling in love with myself,” I reply with a short laugh.

“I know you better than that,” he answers quietly.

“I know you do,” I sigh. “Honestly, it’s all I can think about, but I also feel like none of my thoughts lead anywhere. Does that make sense? I think about the King line all the time, but I don’t have any answer. I never come up with a real solution.”

“Maybe you’ll meet a solution tonight,” Declan offers.

“Maybe,” I say doubtfully.

“Try to have an open mind, ok? Remember that your mother would want you to be happy, no matter what happens with the King line.”

I smile at Declan gratefully. He’s right. My mother always said that it’s important as Queen to enjoy any and every happiness that comes your way, no matter how small. And the big ones? Fight like hell to keep those, because they don’t come around often in this role.

“I just feel so ready to do the job of Queen. I have studied and prepared my whole life, and even more so since my mother died. I know I can do it. I never thought I’d have to worry about the King line. I kind of feel like the whole King line thing is overshadowing my Coronation.” I finish with a huff. “I know, poor little Princess.”

“Just because you have different problems than other people, doesn’t mean they aren’t real problems. You don’t have to do anything with the King line, though. An election is a legitimate solution.” Declan says gently.

“I know that. I just feel like there’s a lot of pressure on me to retake control of the King line of the Crown. It’s what’s best for Smaragaid, according to the Council. The only other time a Coronation and open King line has happened simultaneously, was Queen Aislinn. That didn’t really turn out so well for her, did it?” I frown. Here we are, back to Aislinn.

“I guess that depends on what you consider turning out well, The Forgotten Queen lived out her life in peace and happiness, according to the stories.” Declan says.

I stop walking, “I will not be the next “Forgotten Queen”, just so we’re clear.”

“Of course not,” Declan says quickly. “Not that she’s forgotten anyway, we all learn about Queen Aislinn in school. And you’ve got that whole shrine to her upstairs.”

“I. Will. Not.” I say, a sharp edge to my tone. If there’s one thing I won’t do with this King situation, it’s leave a legacy of ghost stories. People will not be afraid to walk the halls I walked.

“Absolutely you will not. History might occasionally repeat itself, but you are not Aislinn. You’re quite unforgettable.” Declan says, studying me.

I hold his gaze and continue to stand still in the corridor for a minute. Something about this moment feels familiar, like we’ve had this exact conversation before. I shake off the eerie feeling and start to walk again. Has to be something I dreamed, I think.

“You know,” Declan adds after a few moments, “the princes arriving tomorrow are going to be jealous that they didn’t get a shot at a small, intimate dinner with the Queen.”

I groan inwardly. I don’t want to do this all over again tomorrow. I don’t even want to do it tonight. I couldn’t resist the urge to one-up Linda.

“Well maybe next time there’s a Coronation with an open line of the Crown, they’ll arrive a little earlier.” I say, and we both laugh.

“You said you never come up with any real solutions. Tell me one of your not-real solutions,” Declan says.

“Ah! Well, my favorite not-real solution is that King Rupert un-dies. But not in a creepy zombie way, he still needs to be his normal pre-dead self. I mean, that’s really the best solution for everyone.” I say, as if this is a completely reasonable topic of conversation.

“It’s the least he can do, after he so inconsiderately died in the first place.” Declan agrees.

“That’s what I said!” I say.

One of the things I love about having a friendship as old as ours is how easy it is to talk to each other. We can blend topics that are serious and absurd, we can say anything at all and know the other isn’t judging, we can appreciate references that seem obscure or random to others, we can jump from one conversation to another and back without losing each other.

“I do wonder how Emilie is doing sometimes. She’s the true Forgotten Queen. As soon as Rupert died it was “hey thanks for your service, have a safe trip back home”, and all eyes on the Coronation.” I say, regretting that in the midst of everything, I didn’t reach out to her after the funeral myself.

“You could invite her to the Coronation as an honored guest?” Declan suggests.

“Another fantastic idea,” I squeeze his arm. “I will call her after dinner tonight.”

“Ok, tell me another not-real solution,” Declan prompts.

“Hmm. Oh! Another really good one is that I name you the next King and we marry within the year.” I say, batting my eyelashes at him.

Declan nearly chokes on his own spit, then laughs, “Please let’s not do that.”

“I told you it was a good one!” I say in a sing-song voice. “Wouldn’t you just love to have a little you and a little me gathered around the breakfast table every morning?”

“Well when you put it like that,” Declan grimaces.

“And holidays! Just imagine the delight on our children’s faces when-”

“Nope, I can’t imagine,” Declan interrupts. He looks like he’s just bitten into a lemon.

“Aww, Dec, I’m not so bad, am I?” I say with a pout.

“You are amazing, and you know it. You will go down in history as The Favorite Queen. And I will always be your best friend.” Declan touches my cheek lightly.

“Always,” I say firmly.

By now we’ve reached the East Courtyard. The visiting princes are already gathering in groups near the fountain or the bar Lady Keeva set up. A large round table for 16 is set just near the large ash tree. Kaylee is waiting just on the other side of the arched entryway.

“Game on, Princess,” Declan says, letting go of my arm and taking a step back.

“It’s “Queen”, but thank you,” I say over my shoulder, teasing.

“Not yet,” he chuckles softly.