Nothing Feels Like You

Chapter 8: I Love You Still

"T, will you get me the mug?" Julianna asked, gaining a nod from the taller girl.

"Thanks." She said as she took the cup over from Tahani.

Julianna unscrewed the bottle of juice and poured out some sauce before screwing the cap back on, accidentally pushing the mug off the table in the process.

"Shit." She muttered under breath, kneeling down to pick up the broken pieces and cutting her finger with it.

"Oh my god, Mila you're bleeding." Tahani said in shock and quickly helped Julianna with her wound before picking up the pieces of the mug.

From the corner of Julianna's eyes, she could see Riley walking pass the kitchen and looking at her. She could sense her presence, but Riley didn't step forward to help her.

Ever since the innocent kiss in the hospital the other night, things were back to the way it was before she found Riley crying, all alone.

The older girl would ignore Julianna's presence and pretend that she isn't there. It's becoming hard for Julianna to bear the fact that both of them aren't talking anymore. She would cry herself to sleep at night, snuggling into her blankets to keep herself warm which Riley once provided. She thought that Riley has let to of what they once had, but Riley's actually struggling to keep her distance from Julianna.

Riley's POV

I miss those times where I'm able to hold her close to me and tell her those three words that are only meant for her. I miss her warmth, her kisses, her everything. I just want to call her mine again, for everything to be back to the way it used to be.

I'm losing my mind just thinking about all this things. Their nothing but memories now, memories that I'm trying so hard not to let fade away. As each day passes, every bit of the memory slips away from my grasp, just like how our relationship did. I'm afraid that it'll all be gone one day.

"Ri?" Ally asked concern seeing the mascara stained cheeks, "Are you alright?"

"You know what? I'm not!" Riley exclaimed, "All I want is to have my life back, have Jules back! Why did Colin break us up? We did nothing wrong!"

"I know you're going through a tough time right now, but please mind your health Ri. You know you need to control your emotions."

"I don't care. There's no point for me to stay alive anymore. I've lost her, she's my everything...." Riley trailed off, bursting into a fit of tears.

"It'll be fine Ri. We'll get through this, but right now, you just got to get your mind set on recovering." Ally consoled, bringing the sobbing girl into her arms.

No One's POV

Cold air hit Julianna's face as she opened the door to their mansion, showing a mess of darkness. Julianna followed the street lamps as she walked down the streets aimlessly, not knowing what she's doing outside so late at night.

She needed fresh air from everything she's going through. Riley, the management and Colin. She needed time off from all her worries and troubles.

The vibration from Julianna's phone caught attention and she saw Riley's name lighting up on the screen. She groaned and pick it up, not wanting to make Riley worry.

"Hello?"

"Where are you Jules? It's midnight." Riley asked, voice husky.

'Maybe she woke up and found me missing.' Julianna thought.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me." Julianna assured.

"I'm going to get you." Riley said and Julianna could hear her shuffling around the room, probably looking for her car keys.

"It's okay. I'll be home before the sun rises."

"No. I'm going to get you. Where are you?" Riley insisted and the sound of engine could be heard through the phone.

"I'm at the park." Julianna reluctantly answered.

"Stay where you are. I'm on my way." Riley ordered.

"Alright." Julianna sighed before the line went dead.

Why does Riley care so much? One moment she doesn't give a f**k and the next she's on her way to pick up Julianna from the park, in the middle of the night.

Julianna huffed in frustration at the thought. What is Riley thinking? Why the different treatment? Hasn't she let go of everything already?

"Get in." A familiar voice said and Julianna looked up to see Riley in her car.

She opened the door and jumped in, "Thanks for fetching me."

Riley didn't reply or make any signs to acknowledge that she had heard the younger girl. The whole ride back to the mansion was silent, with only occasional sounds made by the engine.

"Why did you break up with me?" Julianna asked before she could stop them from leaving her mouth.

"Because I feel nothing for you anymore." The green eyed girl replied coldly.

"What about the kiss in the hospital? What about the 'I love you' that you said to me?" Julianna questioned, her glare burning into Riley's soul. "Did they mean nothing to you?"

Riley remained quiet and Julianna chuckled sadly, "I guess not huh?"

"It does. It means a lot. Okay?" Riley screamed, "I'll admit it. I still love you okay?"

I still love you okay?

Those words burned into Julianna's head. She felt so many emotions at once - happiness, hurt and anger. Why didn't Riley tell her earlier?

"Why didn't you tell me? Why are you only telling me this now?" Julianna asked between tears, "We could've worked through this together."

"What if it doesn't? You'll lose whatever you have right now! You're fame, you're career, the life you have!"

"I lost you Riley." Julianna whispered staring into green orbs.

"It doesn't matter if you lose me, there's no difference if I'm in your life or not."

"It does Rye. You've been in my life since I was four and nobody could ever change that fact. Not ever. You're my everything, I want nothing and nobody else but you Riley."

Julianna woke up to a familiar warmth wrapped around her body and the events that happened last night came rushing back into her mind.

"It doesn't matter if you lose me, there's no difference if I'm in your life or not."

"It does Rye. You've been in my life since I was four and nobody could ever change that fact. Not ever. You're my everything, I want nothing and nobody else but you Riley."

"Really?" The green eyed asked.

"You've been there for me since I was four Riley. You can't just take someone I've known for more than ten years out of my life. No matter how far away or distant you were, you've been a part of my life and still is."

Those words were more than what Riley needed to hear to lean in and capture Julianna's lips in hers. Fireworks and sparks flew. Julianna licked Riley's lower lips and the older girl granted entrance. They explored every inch of each other's mouth that they once were so familiar with, making sure that they remember every part of it.

They broke apart when oxygen was needed and Julianna laid her forehead gently against Riley's, "Please don't leave me again."

"I won't. Never again." Riley assured, interlacing their hands together.

Julianna closed her eyes and let out a content sigh, a smile tugging at her lips. She feel the girl behind stir and she turns over, pushing a strand of stray hair behind Riley's ear.

"Good morning Rye." Julianna whispered softly and pecked Riley's lips.

Riley's eyes flutter open and see brown orbs staring into hers, "Good morning beautiful." She replied with a warm smile, pulling Julianna closer into her.

"I missed waking up with you in my arms." Riley mumbled huskily.

"Me too." Julianna answered, voice barely audible.

"Jules, can we talk?" Riley asked, voice suddenly serious.

"Yeah. Anything babe."

"What do we do about Colin and the management?" Riley said worriedly as her grip on Julianna tightened.

What Riley said drew Julianna back into reality. What do they do about Colin and the management? But what she is most worried about is Riley's mental and physical health. She knows Riley can't be agitated in any way and that if Colin or the management found out about them getting back together, Riley is going to flip.

"Rye baby, I promise you, we'll get through this together. We're not going to be broken up again." Julianna assured, looking into worried green eyes.

"I love you princess." Riley said, brushing Julianna's cheek with the pad of her thumb.

"I love you too." 

_______________________________

The two girls walked hand in hand in the pitch dark park. The doctors advised Riley to go for walks to ease the tension and stress but she refused to go anywhere without Julianna around, so the only choice they had was to do it at night when there is a lesser risk of getting caught.

"Jules?"

"Hmm?" The younger girl hummed, urging her girlfriend to go on.

"Do you remember the first time we came here?" Riley asked, turning to look at Julianna.

"After the quarter finals of X-Talent?" The brown eyed confirmed.

"Yeah, the night you tripped and fell into the lake." Riley chuckled, receiving a smack on the arms.

"Stop talking about that already! It was so embarrassing." Julianna whined, face turning red.

"Aww... Lil' Jules' blushing." Riley teased.

"You're looking for trouble Jauregui." Julianna warned, leaning in close into Riley.

"Well, it was such a turn on seeing you all soaked." Riley chuckled, "You were really wet." And when those words came out of Riley's mouth, she turned as red as an apple, "Oh god, that didn't come out right. I meant that you looked hot with your hair wet under the moonlight." She word vomited in an attempt to explain herself.

"Look who's blushing now?" Julianna joked, laying her head on Riley's shoulder as they sat on the bench, watching glistening lake from the moonlight.

"Shut up." Riley said, "I had never ever in a million years expected our lives to be the way it is now." She added, "I mean, it's not perfect but I've got this career and most importantly, you."

"Neither did it. And you know what? f**k Colin and the management. They can't stop us from dating each other, I would rather lose this job than you." Julianna replied, snuggling in closer to Riley."

"Well, that was the first."

"What?"

"You cursing." Riley answered, intertwining their hands.