Alpha Rayven

Insult

Alone.

Used.

Violated.

That’s how I feel right now after the humiliation of the so-called first night. I have heard that the usual first time is a good memory, but now, it becomes a nightmare for me.

Blackwood now lies beside me. I know he can feel what I’m feeling, courtesy of our one-sided bond. He feels everything I feel, knows what’s inside my mind. I can sense the tendrils of his being wrapped tight inside me, but I have no way to connect back.

I feel disgusted, with myself, with him.

I feel violated, and I still do hours later as my bags are loaded into his truck, my family sending me off, abandoning me to this great power for their own benefit, for the pack’s benefit.

I’m crying as my older brother hugs me, sniffing my neck, smelling the difference in me… the mixture of two scents now one. Then he looks to Blackwood, smelling only one scent.

My scent clings to Blackwood only on the outside, a superficial layer that doesn’t cloak or coat or mix into his being the way his has done to mine. My scent could be washed away with time.

My eyes well as I look at Micah. There’s no need to say a word. He can tell. He knows what’s happened, and he pulls me into a tight hug.

“Stay warm. Call me when you need me. I’ll always come for you, Will. You’ll always be family, so don’t be a stranger, okay, baby sis?”

I nod and swipe beneath my eyes before forcing a smile up at him. Blackwood doesn’t say a word as I hug the rest of my family. My oldest brother, Jude, doesn’t seem too affected—or maybe he’s just hiding his discomfort beneath his skin like I do. My younger twin sisters cry into each other’s shoulders. I say goodbye with resignation.

Blackwood doesn’t help me with the last of my bags. He doesn’t help me into the truck like a loving mate would. He doesn’t take care of me like a mate should, and I wonder if he ever will.

The drive is long and quiet. I fall asleep from exhaustion and wake from hunger. We stop at a small diner, and I devour my burger and shake despite the waves of nerves and upset churning inside me.

He still doesn’t speak to me, which is unsettling. I walk off to use the ladies’ room before we hit the road again. I can feel the lingering tenderness between my thighs and remember having to clean the blood from my snow-white flesh alone… no help from my mate.

On the way there, a large man slaps my ass. I whirl around in shock. He’s dirty and grimy, and my mate does nothing, just stares, as I huff and stalk the rest of the way to the bathroom.

I finish quickly, then hesitate before leaving, hoping the nasty man is gone. I sigh in relief when I see his seat empty.

I look at my mate with anger, my hidden strength seeping out into my skin against my will. I see his eyes spark with surprise. I say nothing as I pass him, bumping into his side on the way out, unconsciously rubbing my scent back onto him.

x-x-x-x-x

Two hours later, I’m standing in front of a large, beautifully crafted house… the pack house, obviously.

“There will be a pack meeting later tonight for introductions. For now, I’ll have Senna, my beta’s mate, show you around,” Blackwood says gruffly before stalking into the house.

Senna is tall and willowy, with springy blonde curls and kind green eyes.

“You must be our new Luna?” she asks with a wide smile, her face glowing with a happiness I wish I could feel as she pulls me into a hug. I smile back as best I can.

“You can just call me Will.”

She takes my hand and motions for a few younger male wolves to carry my bags to my room… which I assume I’ll be sharing with Blackwood.

Senna shows me around the house. I love the beautiful wooden structure. It feels warm and homey, cluttered with pack members and pups wandering behind their mothers. I give a genuine smile to a little girl who comes running toward me.

“Luna!” she giggles happily, wrapping her arms around my leg.

My smile turns to dust as I look up and see a female wolf draped over my mate.

Noticing where my gaze has landed, Senna gently ushers the little girl away. I seethe, my eyes flashing black as a low growl rumbles from my chest while I watch the female rub herself against what’s mine.

“Rosalie! He has a mate now, so back off!” Senna rushes forward, grabbing her by the back of the neck and tossing her aside like a disobedient pup.

Rosalie lifts her nose and sniffs in Blackwood’s direction. “Doesn’t smell like it to me. He doesn’t even have a mark, Senna. I see no reason to stay away.” She smiles smoothly, tossing her honey-brown hair at me before slinking off in her heels, her dress barely containing her.

Her words burrow deep, hurting more than I want to admit.

Blackwood does nothing. He simply stares, then walks away.

“Senna,” I say quietly, “you don’t have to interfere like that. I need to make my place here. I can’t have someone defending me all the time. The pack will think I’m weak.” I offer her a watery smile.

She blushes before ushering me into the kitchen to eat. I don’t manage more than a few steps before my appetite disappears completely, so I ask her to show me to my room instead.

My room is massive… the largest I’ve ever seen. One wall is all windows, and the bed looks large enough to fit five people. Blackwood’s scent lingers heavily, but so does Rosalie’s. I swallow down the growls clawing at my throat and turn toward the couch. There’s no way I’m sleeping in that bed until the sheets are washed clean.

I lay my head against the soft cushions and drift into the numb nothingness I’ve been craving since the moment I arrived.