Devil I Loved

Confession

Amira's POV

The ache between my legs wasn't the worst part of what had transpired between Jaden and me. No, it was the silence, the gaping hole where my memory should have been. It was the broken promise that echoed louder than any scream. This wasn't just a bad morning; it was the beginning of a completely new direction for my life. And I had no idea what that direction would be.

Two Years Earlier:

“His smile should be illegal,” Mabel said, dramatically dropping her head onto her desk with a thump. “Seriously, like—fine me. Arrest me. I’ll go willingly.” She sighed dreamily, making Yvonne and I chuckle.

I brushed a stray strand of hair behind my ear, trying to look casual, but my eyes kept darting towards the campus café. Jaden Ward was there, standing in line, completely oblivious to the chaos he caused. He had that careless, golden-boy swagger that just made everyone stare. His shirt was half-buttoned, phone half-raised, mind clearly somewhere else entirely. He just existed, and everyone melted.

“He’s not even trying,” Yvonne whispered, biting into a crisp apple, her voice low with a mix of annoyance and admiration. “That’s the worst part, honestly. It’s like, effortless hotness.”

I scoffed playfully, folding my arms over my textbooks. “Yeah, well, I saw him first. Way before you two even knew he existed.” My heart was already doing a nervous flutter, just thinking about him.

Mabel raised a perfectly arched brow, a smirk playing on her lips. “So what, Amira? You’re staking a claim? Is the Queen of the Crush finally making her move?”

I tried to keep my smile light, but my stomach felt like a flock of startled birds. “I’m just saying… if any of you want to confess your undying love, you’ll have to get behind me in line.” I winked, trying to project a confidence I didn't entirely feel.

The girls gasped and then burst into laughter, half-teasing, half-genuinely impressed.

“No way, Amira. Are you actually going to do it? You’re really going to talk to him?” Yvonne asked, her eyes wide.

“Today,” I confirmed, nodding decisively. "After the psych seminar. I've had a crush on him for way too long to pretend otherwise. It’s time. No more pretending."

My cool voice was just a façade. Beneath it, my heart was beating an unsteady rhythm against my ribs. I wasn’t usually the type to make bold moves. I preferred to observe, to wait. But Jaden… Jaden had been different. He’d actually been kind to me, not just polite. He’d flirted back, easy and natural. He smiled at me like I was more than just a fan, like he actually saw me. Maybe—just maybe—this could actually be something real. Something important. The thought made my palms sweat, but also filled me with a quiet determination. This was it.

The psych seminar felt like it lasted forever. Every minute dragged by. I kept rehearsing what I'd say, then immediately doubting myself. What if he laughs? What if he has a girlfriend? What if he just thinks I’m a joke? My palms were clammy by the time it ended.

I took a deep breath, clutching my bag straps, and walked out, trying to spot him. There he was, by the big jacaranda tree near the library steps, chatting with a few guys. My heart hammered. Okay, Amira. You can do this.

I walked over, trying to appear calm, but my legs felt like jelly. When he finally looked up and met my eyes, he gave me that easy, dazzling smile. "Hey, Amira. Good seminar, huh?"

"Yeah, definitely," I managed, my voice sounding a little too breathy. My mind raced. Just say it. Just get it out. I glanced around, suddenly feeling exposed. "Hey, Jaden... can I talk to you about something? Just for a second?"

He nodded, turning fully towards me, his friends fading into the background. "Sure, what's up?" His eyes were friendly, curious.

I swallowed, the words suddenly feeling enormous in my throat. I tilted my head slightly, trying to look casual, trying not to look away. "Do you maybe... want to go out with me?" The words tumbled out quickly, barely above a whisper. "Just... see where it goes? Like, coffee sometime? Or... whatever." My cheeks felt hot. I immediately wanted to bolt. Too much. I said too much. Or not enough. I braced myself for rejection, already planning my quick escape.

It was quiet for only a second, but it felt like the longest second of my life. My stomach clenched. This is it. He's going to say no.

Then Jaden smiled. Not just a polite smile, but a wide, confident smile that reached his eyes. He actually looked genuinely pleased. "Yeah," he said, and his voice was so clear, so casual, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "I was hoping you’d ask."

My breath caught in my chest. Relief, pure and dizzying, washed over me. He pulled me into a hug, then a warm embrace that surprised me but felt incredibly good. It was the kind of hug that said "you're mine," the kind that already felt… official. My heart, which had been racing with dread, now pounded with elation.

Pulling back slightly, I looked up at him, a nervous giggle escaping me. "I guess this makes it official now, huh?" I asked, still barely believing it was real.

He grinned. "I guess it does, Amira."

I practically floated away from that spot. My world felt suddenly brighter, more exciting.