I'M FEMALE, I'M MAFIA

MR. RODRIGUEZ

He always had an excuse - he had to use the restroom, needed to buy a pack of cigarettes from the machine - whatever. Then he would join her, stepping up to her and saying “Hey, beautiful,” as if she was a total stranger to him. He wanted everyone in the bar to see him approach the pretty blonde who had just come in, who all the other guys were eying, and then - effortlessly - pick her up. It was a competitive, alpha male type thing.

Weird but understandable, Jade supposed. He was too sexy to abandon on that basis... and that lump was too promising, especially after the Brown philosophy major.

Finally she could stand it no longer. “Want to go back to my room?” she whispered, holding onto his thick arm.

“We’ll go to mine."

When they arrived, he locked the door and immediately turned on the TV. Another stupid basketball game was on. “You want a beer?” he said.

“No,” she said dreamily. She turned down the volume on the TV set. “I just want to be with you." The truth was, she just wanted to get this over with.

They sat down on the bed and he kissed her, giving lots of tongue. When he pulled down his pants, his erection popped out and eagerly bounced up and down. It was short and thick, just like he was. But she wasn’t complaining - at least it was hard. Hopefully it wouldn’t explode at the slightest contact with any part of the female anatomy.

He expertly laid her down on the bed and plunged himself inside her, breaking her hymen with the first powerful thrust - at last. Within a moment or two, he brought her to her first externally generated orgasm. He made love with a machine-like rhythm, his manhood maintaining a constant turgidity. He just kept going and going and going. She kept her eyes closed the entire time, and after a while she thought he seemed distracted, as if his mind were elsewhere.

He suddenly began thrusting harder. “Go, Rodriguez, go!” he yelled.

For a second, she thought Rodriguez was his pet name for his own p***s. Then she opened her eyes and saw only the bottom of his chin.

He was still watching the basketball game on TV.

“Shoot!” he bellowed. “What are you waiting for, dumbass?"

“I... can we ...” Jade tried to wriggle out from under him.

“What’s the matter?” he said, looking down at her.

“I’ve had enough." She rolled off the bed.

He looked at her a moment, then gave a shrug and bobbed his way into the bathroom. Jade took advantage of the opportunity to quickly get dressed. When she reached under his bed for her shoe, she glimpsed a little blue pill on the floor.

She moved closer, squinting at the label.

VIAGRA.

That explains a lot, Jade thought. He must be pickled in the stuff.

He came out of the bathroom, still naked and still erect, the bloody condom dangling from his finger.

She looked away.

“You’ve never done it before?”

“No,” Jade said, putting on her other shoe. And I’m certainly not going to do it again with you.

When Jade told Pauline what had happened, she started laughing. Then Jade started laughing, too. They both laughed so hard they cried. “Go, Rodriguez, go!” Pauline kept repeating, in between fits of hysteria, pounding the mattress of her bed.

When they finally composed themselves, Pauline looked somberly at Jade. “So, how was it, overall?”

Jade shrugged. “Okay, I guess."

“Well, that’s good. Did you come?”

Jade blushed. “A couple of times."

“That’s great!”

“Yeah. Overall, I think s*x is overrated."

* * *

Once Jade lost her virginity and no longer felt like a leper, she concentrated on her studies again. It actually did make her more comfortable around boys. But she didn’t pay them much attention. Romance could come later - she was on a “mission." She did not tell Pauline or anyone else the real reason she was at RISD, that it was part of a grand strategy to get a job at the Secret Service. Like most of the other RISD students, Pauline was a gifted artist. She and everyone else were so passionate about what they were doing that Jade felt terribly cold and calculating at times, like someone who was using RISD merely as a means to an end.

Still, she was determined to avenge her father’s death. Nothing could stop her from that. Deep down, she simply didn’t feel like she could move forward in life until justice was done. She was going to track down Romeo Estella, legally, and punish him.

To increase her chances of getting a job at the Secret Service, she took a second major in Russian. She had learned that much of the international currency counterfeiting activity occurred in Eastern Europe and the countries that made up the former Soviet Union. Even though Russian was difficult, it was the common language among those countries, and she figured that it was the best choice. She took the Russian classes at Brown. She enjoyed hanging out with the students there, as they were quite different from the arty, RISD types.

The four years at RISD went by amazingly fast for Jade. She and Kat kept in touch with each other, as they had promised they would. The first couple of years, they communicated using f*******: on almost a daily basis. But then, they slowly drifted apart, especially after junior year, when Kat met this incredibly hunky law student at Northwestern named Matthew and moved in with him.

Jade roomed the entire four years with Pauline, but like Kat, Pauline eventually found a serious boyfriend, another design student at RISD, a year ahead of them. After that, Pauline spent most nights with him.