I'M FEMALE, I'M MAFIA

DEFINITELY FAKE

He walked off in the other direction.

As they were alone again, Brenda looked knowingly at Jade. Her lips curled into a smile.

“He wasn’t a real cop...”

“Nope,” Brenda said.

“I don’t get it - what was this all about?”

“This,” Brenda said, reaching into her back pocket. She produced a single one hundred dollar bill. “This came off that roll of money - all of it was probably counterfeit. A couple of undercover cops - real cops - will keep tabs on those guys until we find out."

As soon as they were inside the Mustang and headed back to the office, Jade said. “You should have let me bring my gun. I’m not incompetent." 

“Did I say you were incompetent?”

“No, but...” She was angry with herself for wanting to impress her, but she couldn’t help it. “You make me feel incompetent. I’m not a helpless girl." 

“Don’t get feminist on me, okay? I don’t pay a lot of attention to rules, but when it comes to important things, I play by the book. Something happens to you, and I’m responsible." She glanced at her. “Is that all right with you?”

“Well, yes, of course it is. I just don’t want you to think I’m inept."

“The Secret Service must have thought you had other assets that made up for your weakness in marksmanship." She glanced at her legs.

“Thanks a lot,” she muttered.

“I didn’t mean that. I meant, for example, intaglio printing." She looked curiously at her. “Your file said you know a lot about that."

“I ought to know something about it. I majored in it."

Brenda looked surprised. “Where the hell can you major in intaglio printing?”

“RISD. That’s the Rhode Island School of... ”

“I know what it stands for. That’s a damn good school." 

She gave a modest shrug. “I guess so." Of course it was a good school - it was one of the best design schools in the USA.

Brenda said, “Your intaglio printing knowledge could be very useful here. The main crime we deal with in this office is counterfeiting. Heluva lot better than the deserts as far as I'm concerned. But I’m sure you know that already."

They rode along in silence for a few minutes. Even though Jade felt a bit frustrated with how she was acting towards her, she had a very good feeling being with Brenda Hanks. Her open, honest, and confident manner was very attractive - a million dollar thought for a girl who'd thought she was straight.

As they passed a group of rough-looking men on a corner, her thoughts turned to the con artists they had just been involved with. “That’s a clever scam those guys pull,” she said. “For a split second, I was mad when the first man cut in front of me and looked like he’d picked up that big roll of money. I thought I should have found it instead of him."

“Yeah. I always get the same feeling, even though I know it’s a con." She smiled at her. “We’re all greedy, Jade. It’s human nature."

When they got back to the office, Brenda cleared off some debris from one of her guest chairs and offered her a seat.

“So, what do you think of this bill?” she said, handing Jade the one hundred dollar note. She also handed her a magnifying glass.

The look in her eye told her this was a test.

She carefully rubbed the bill between her thumb and forefinger. It had been printed with an intaglio press, as she could feel the ridges in the paper. She squinted at it through the magnifier, inspecting the finer details.

After a moment, Brenda said, “Want a genuine note for comparison?”

“Don’t need one,” Jade murmured, peering at the front side of the bill. “This is definitely a fake."

Brenda raised an eyebrow. “How do you know?”

“For one thing, the color-shifting ink isn’t quite right. It changes from black to gold but the....”

“Yeah, good. And?”

“And the lines on Jefferson’s face aren’t spaced the same, especially around the jaw line. Plus, the microprinting isn’t quite as sharp as it should be." Jade paused. “Still, it’s a well-done counterfeiting job."

Brenda smiled. “Not bad, Jade. Not bad at all. Usually we have to send bills this good back to the States to know for sure."

She picked up the phone and punched in a number. While she waited, she opened her drawer and pulled out a stack of one hundred dollar bills that was an inch thick. “See what you think of these."

* * *

The more Jade worked with Brenda Hanks, the more she liked her.

She was so exciting to be around, always passionate about whatever she was working on, and so confident in herself and the abilities of everyone around her, including her own. Jade felt completely safe with her, as if she radiated a sort of magical, protective energy that warded off evil.

She also enjoyed her job. She found she had a natural talent for recognizing fake banknotes, something Brenda had seen right off. She gave her tasks that helped her further develop her skill at counterfeit detection, such as making detailed lists of all the major differences she could find each time a new type of fake banknote surfaced in the region. It seemed that in this particular Secret Service field office, you could create your own job, which was a nice change from the rigid position in Great Falls.

For Jade, identifying counterfeits was easy, like working those picture puzzles that she loved so much as a little girl. There are ten differences between the girls in these two photographs. Can you find them?