The Royal Wolves

Family of Five

* * * Queen Erin’s POV * * *

Unlike my pregnancy with the twins, I have watched numerous birthing programs and read about cesarean sections, in between all the madness, of course. It was a whirlwind of emotions the first time and with everything that was happening with Stefan, I doubt I really took anything in. This time around, I have just been mentally processing what is going to happen. Prior to watching it, like many women I suspect, I had no clue what actually happens before, during and after a c-section.

We are also incredibly lucky as Jo has been amazing and will be in the theater performing the surgery. Not only is he amazing at what he does, he is the most relaxed, calm-natured, funny and gentle doctor you could ask for. We know we are in good hands, which makes me feel even more relaxed about the big arrival, even as I change into my hospital gown, I feel at peace.

There have been several additional checks and tests prior to the elective section. These have included being weighed regularly, being given a prescription for a medication that I will take as soon as I enter the hospital (that was given to me as soon as I arrive through the doors), to help prevent rising stomach acid. I have also had to have a full blood count blood test regularly, just in case I end up needing a blood transfusion, which is unlikely as the sisters will be in the waiting room. Aside from these little things, there have been no remarkable differences in my care leading up to today. I have loved my bump, and I have loved the journey, preparing the twins to be a big brother and sister. This little angel is going to be surrounded by love.

Once I have arrived and taken my medication, I am immediately taken through into the room where I’ll be staying. Thankfully, as soon as we arrive, we are kept busy with all the prep work and there isn’t much time to wait around getting more apprehensive.

I’d just taken a shower at home this morning, but I am asked to take another one once I am in my room and put on my hospital gown. This is to ensure the wound site is as clean as possible. People around me are talking, but I am having an internal conversation with myself and my bump.

Despite being prepared, as I am wheeled to the theater, I begin to feel really nervous! It is a funny mix of excitement knowing I’ll meet my baby soon but also nerves that I am about to undergo major surgery. “It’s okay, my love. I’m going to hold your hand the entire time,” Stefan whispers sweetly into my ear. Then the birthing specialist puts TED stockings on my legs and inserts a urinary catheter. It feels familiar, and I realise I have remembered more about the twins birth than I thought.

“This is it. We’re going to meet our little angel. Another perfect little one to add to our brood,” Stefan says, his smile warms my heart. This is what I missed last time. The unwavering support of my heart.

Once we arrive at the theater, I am taken into the anesthetic prep bay while Stefan is taken to get changed into his theater scrubs. This is the only time he isn’t allowed in with me, which makes me uneasy at first (the thought of having a needle inserted into my spine for the spinal block is the part that was making me most nervous). However, I realise that I am so lucky to have the most incredible team of anesthetists, registrars and nurses taking care of me – they immediately put me at ease.

I have a cannula inserted in my arm and then my lower back region is prepped for the needle. At each step of the way, Jo talks me through what is happening and at no time do I feel kept in the dark or uncertain. In what seems like only minutes, Stefan is back, wearing scrubs and by my side.

Once it is go-time, the anesthetist inserts a local anesthetic to numb the area before inserting the spinal block needle. I start to feel a slow, warm tingly feeling down my middle and legs. After a few minutes, they lay me down, and I immediately start to feel the effects.

One of the nurses asks me to wriggle my toes, which I can’t do, and then they also gently touch my skin with a small pin. I can feel the vague sensation of someone touching me, but not the sharpness of it. Once they are happy the spinal block is working effectively, we are ready to meet the baby!

“This is it, Stefan. Are you ready to meet our little prince?”

“It’s a boy?” he asks in wonder.

“I think so. I was measuring my bump and reading about pregnancy symptoms this morning. As long as our little one is healthy, I’m happy,” I smile and squeeze his hand.

Something I had forgotten about was how cold operating theaters are. Apparently, they’re air-conditioned to low temps to keep bugs at bay, but I wasn’t expecting it to be this cold. As soon as I was wheeled in, I started feeling freezing. Jo has covered my chest and arms with a blanket and having Stefan’s body heat next to me is starting to help.

Once Jo starts making the incision, which I can feel the pressure of but no pain whatsoever, I know it isn’t long until we meet our baby. It’s a dull, pulling, stirring kind of feeling that can be unpleasant at times. I’m not sure if I’m the only one, but I really could sense a lot more than I expected, and it is pretty full on. I think because you know what they’re doing and feeling those dull sensations, it makes it worse than it is. It’s not painful, but you can definitely feel what they are doing during a section.

“Wow. This is fascinating and totally horrid seeing you being cut,” Stefan expresses on an exhale as he peers behind the screen. I am totally surprised by just how quick it is! It feels like Jo has only just started and the next thing I know, he is peeking over the divider asking us if Stefan wants to get his camera ready. He looks to me for an answer.

“Please,” I beg him.

The drapes are lowered, so I can see the moment our baby's pulled out, and I can see its head. Seconds later the baby is out, and Stefan exclaims “it’s a little girl,” whilst recording the moment, and my eyes fill with happy, proud, overwhelmed tears of joy. We didn’t find out the s*x of our baby prior, so this is a really special moment.

“A princess, not a prince,” he beams at me.

Our baby girl cries immediately after being pulled out, which is music to my ears. She seems to be breathing just fine! C-section babies don’t get the same ‘squeeze’ on the way out as babies born via normal birth. Because of this, their little lungs can have a bit of amniotic fluid on them which they may need some help with. “She’s beautiful,” I sigh as I memorise every part of her face. She is placed on my legs for a moment, ‘delayed cord clamping’ Jo had called it.

“Would Daddy like to cut the cord?” Jo asks.

“Go on,” I encourage Stefan, knowing that in all the chaos of the twins' birth, he enjoyed this moment.

“I don’t want to let go of your hand,” he tells me fiercely.

“Go cut that cord, then you can hold my hand again,” I smile at him.

Once the cord is cut, she is taken by the birthing specialist for a few minutes for a quick check to make sure her breathing is all OK and then brought straight back to me where I hold her on my chest. It is incredibly surreal to have her in my arms finally. While she is on me, I am blissfully unaware of anything happening at the business end! Getting the baby out is the quickest part of a c-section, suturing the layers back takes much longer.

Once the surgery is finished, I am wheeled into recovery. Here, the nurses check things such as blood pressure as well as blood loss. As the surgery went smoothly, the sisters are giving us bonding time before they come to heal me.

We are so lucky in that we were able to have almost immediate skin-to-skin contact after she was born and then tonnes of it in recovery. It is while in recovery that she has her first feed – she finds her way down to my breast and latches on perfectly for the first time. I can’t explain how magical this moment is and what a sense of relief I feel. People had said that c-section mums can have a harder time breastfeeding, but for me, it is a really wonderful experience.

“You really are amazing. She’s so tiny and beautiful,” Stefan gushes, unable to take his eyes from her perfect features.

“I’m hogging all the cuddles. I believe it’s your turn,” I smile, offering our princess to him, when I realise that I have held her nonstop since she had been placed on my chest. A look at the clock tells me it’s now been two hours.

“You deserve every cuddle,” he smiles, and there’s no jealousy in his voice.

“She needs her Daddy, too. Take off your shirt, she’ll benefit from skin-to-skin contact.”

I don’t need to tell him twice, before I had even finished talking, his shirt was off. My heart expands as I watch her snuggle into her Daddy’s chest and my eyes weep as she sighs and snuggles in.

“Do we have a name yet?” He whispers, making sure he doesn’t wake her.

“What do you think?” I ask him. I’d planned a short list of five boys' names, but I’ve been struggling to narrow down my girls' name list.

“I like Amara,” he looks at me like he is unsure.

“It’s perfect…. Baby Amara…” I test the name and realise I love it.

“Really?”

“Yes. It’s perfect, just like her,” I smile.

“How about, after her next feed, I get the twins to come meet her while the sisters heal you up?”

“Sounds perfect. In the meantime, what do you say to climbing into this bed so we can cuddle together?”