Two hearts entwined

A friend

I remained in bed for a few days, Mom bought me juice and soup and eventually came to my door late on Thursday to tell me she had to go to a meeting about her case, she was a lawyer so it wasn’t unheard of but normally I’d be left with Dad, she said it was just for one night and she would be back late tomorrow but if I needed anything to call her or my Dad. I had no complaints, to be frank I was on my own anyway.

After she left I got out of bed and headed downstairs, now I could wonder without her moaning about me being ill and getting worse I was about to make a pot of tea when I heard the door. Maybe Mom forgot something or her key I thought, moving groggily and somewhat heavily i manoeuvred myself to the door to see Clay. His face was one of utter shock and it wasn’t until I looked in the hall mirror I realised why, I had dark eyes, darker than normal black rings edged them, my cheeks looked hollow and my skin normally pale now looks like glass.

“Hi, I thought I’d see you at school but I guessed you’d been sick?” He muttered. “ Yeah my Mom has kept me home for the week, she said I could go next week!” I replied self conscious I’d sound stupid. “Well I tell you what I could bunk tomorrow and hang with you?” He had a look of concern on his face mixed with I’m not too sure but it was funny he looked like a puppy dog, I caught myself quickly if Mom realised I’d been with a boy all day alone I’d never be going to school! “I’m not sure that’s a good idea Clay, thank you but” “but .. your Moms not here? Her cars gone?” I thought about his response how did he know? Did he watch the house often to know her car was barley ever gone? I mean she wouldn’t need to know and I wouldn’t be bunking school,would I? “Erm okay” a mixture of excitement and longing was already forming in my belly. “Great, I have football practice now so I’ll be over once my parents have left for work” with that he walked down the drive way looking over his shoulder to throw me a wink.

What was that about.. I closed the door and leaned against it, wow Clay in my house, all the excitement had caused my head to explode I needed Aspirin, steadying myself on the banister I started to climb the stairs, maybe Dad had some in the vanity in their en-suite I thought head to there door.

Opening the vanity my heart and head felt better already it was packed with bottles and bottles of medication, I found what I needed eventually and as I began replacing the bottles on the shelf my heart stopped, Ms Lucie Delaney, DOB 23/2/2015, what? I looked at more some where Moms some Dads but over 18 bottles had Lucie’s name on! Surly there was some mistake, or reasoning behind this! Why would my sister need medication when she isn’t here? Then it hit me maybe this is another one of Moms obsessions, I bet this is what Lucie had in hospital and Mom just kept it. I turned the bottle round in my hand and looked at the expiry date 16/6/23! Is that odd? Would a child’s medication from 2010 have such a long expiry on it? Was Mom illegally taking pills? I felt sick.. replacing the pots back where I found them I closed the door on the vanity and looked at my reflection. I did look Ill, extremely rough and all skin and bone not at all healthy and further from the curvy big breasted models I idolised! As i walked along the shaggy faux fur rug I noticed a box under the bed, I knelt down and pulled it out. No name on the box and no indication of what was in it I pulled off the lid. Papers, a yellow dress, and old bunny teddy and journal. I lifted out the papers carful not to give myself away and leave any evidence of my snooping. A photo fell out of a lady with a huge perm dark brown hair and eyes, a long green jumpsuit with white converse, I recognised the features it was mum and in her arms a baby. Maybe me I thought turning the photo over to see the name Lucie sprawled across in fine black ink. Okay I thought but surely there would be a picture of all 3 of us together. A birth certificate for Lucie, presumably identical to mine all except name, paper clippings from various years nothing that stood out, there was one about a crash and a missing girl but there was many about plane crashes, car crashes the 9/11, I think her obsession was with tragedy. A Mother’s Day card at first glance it looked like something I’d pick, yet I never recalled seeing this card, I opened it to see beautiful hand writing .. signed Lucie!

My heart stopped, not that Mom had a card from Lucie, especially in her current state of mind but what was striking was the writing, we lost Lucie when she was 6 yet this writing was of a similar standard to mine, all be it nearer. I stood back to study it, I guess maybe someone else wrote for Mom from Lucie that would be the most plausible answer! I returned the items to the box and pushed it back under the bed.

I moved swiftly, with my head still pounding and my limbs feeling heavy to the yellow room and threw the door open. Standing there in the yellow room it was simple, my mother loved my sister more than me, even in death and all she wanted was to preserve her memory. Yet something seemed off. I don’t know why but I pulled open the closet door, I knew what it housed but seeing it in person just made it all the more real, that my batshit mother was buying my dead sister clothes and keeping her alive whilst slowly letting me fade away. There was a coat missing I’m sure when I looked last there was a brown fleeced jacket,maybe I was imagining things, I closed the door but something jammed in the way, I bent down to remove it a shoe. I studied it, it wasn’t mine yet this shoe was worn in a size 34, Mom was a 36 like me, and it’s hard to believe someone could cram there foot in a small shoe yet here I was sat with a pair of brown leather brogue shoes worn and worn well, in a room that housed a ghost!