Out Of Hell

Exploring Darkness

The door rattled on its hinges, and someone knocked.

Hello, Jessie are you in there? It was Marianne.

Marianne, what are you doing here? She couldn’t stop herself.

Can I come in? You haven’t returned my calls, so I got worried.

Of course, give me a second. Jessie had to pull herself together, she was required to allow the therapist to do house calls to ensure she was abiding by the court guidelines put in place. She looked in the mirror quickly seeing she looked like hell, at least she wasn’t covered in blood she thought ironically. She opened the door and Marianne looked back at her concern etching her face.

Are you sick?

I haven’t been well, I stayed in bed the past few days, I must have caught a flu.

Oh, you do not look well at all. Do you need to see your doctor? I can run you there.

No, really, I am fine. I got out of bed today, was even hungry for the first time in a few days.

Is there anything I can do to help?

Honestly no, this is just going to have to finish running its course. I will be okay.

Well, okay, but since you didn’t answer my calls and I had to come here to check on you I would rather you stay home and not bring the germs to the office, in fact I am not coming in, you look terrible, and I do not need to get sick.

I agree. So when will we meet again?

Stay home this next week but come in the following Tuesday please.

Okay. Thank you, Marianne. I will.

If it gets worse, you better see your doctor.

I will. She said as Marianne turned to leave.

Good. Now go get something to eat and rest, hopefully you will feel better.

Thanks again for checking on me.

You’re welcome. She left smiling.

God how Jessie hated her sickening sweet personality. She shut the door between them, feeling that pang of anger in the pit of her stomach. She liked Marianne as a human she guessed, but as a therapist, she really wasn’t okay with her just showing up at her home. She had too, but that didn’t mean she liked it. Jessie went back to the food she had made for herself, and the news.

The briefing said they had been missing since Tuesday afternoon, the cashiers name was Tanya Stanley, the baby sister of the guys. She wondered if Tanya knew the kind of boys they were, or if she was aware of their drug use. Then it hit her like lightening, she was the last one to see them alive. In that one little revelation she began wondering exactly what had happened that day. In her mind she heard herself say, you really don’t know? It didn’t sound like her voice, was it his? The darkness? She had to collect her thoughts, maybe a hot bath would help. She finished her food and headed to the bathroom ensuring the doors were bolted before she went to her room for her robe. She ran a hot bath pouring lavender oils in the water, hoping they would clear her mind and ease some of the muscles in her neck from the dull ache that was settling in. As she slipped into the water it quickly began releasing some tension. She lay back resting her neck on the cool porcelain of the ancient claw foot tub that she loved. The house was an older home built by a man who wanted his family to have a space to call home. She loved the place. It was secluded on forty-five acres. She wasn’t sure how anyone could find it. She had a tree lined driveway that was half a mile from the main road. Her great aunt had left this house to her, it wasn’t huge, but it was something Jessie had never seen herself ever obtaining on our own. She had only been in the home for a year. Her aunt passed without ever having kids of her own, Jessie was her only family left. Jessie had lost her parents at a young age and her mothers aunt took her in. They had lived here together until Jessie left for college. When college failed Jessie decided to stay away and not burden her aunt anymore. Turns out her aunt loved her like her own, leaving everything to her when she passed. Jessie had nobody else left, it was her alone in this world. As she reminisced while she lay soaking in the tub, she could feel the air getting thicker by the moment.

Hello darling. His voice caressed her senses, good to see you awake.

She didn’t even open her eyes, what do you want now?

Nothing, you have done enough for a while.

Then why do you keep coming here? And what is it that I have done for you?

She felt the air shift around her. He was closer, she could feel him. His face was beside hers, she tightened her grip on her eyelids not wanting to see, and yet wanting nothing more than to look.

You are mine. Always. And you have given me everything my darling. Gently he kissed her cheek setting it on fire.

She sat there stunned for a moment, eyes scrunched tight against him, she whispered But, why?

Because I love you. He growled in her ear.

Her eyes flew open searching for him, nothing remained but a soft black haze. He was gone. Why did he not show her who he is? And why in the f**k did she feel like she was dancing too close to the fire? Leaning back into the tub she washed herself off so that she could get out. He had ruined her peace once again. She left the bathroom feeling a little let down, and it was only eight o’clock now, so she had to do something else to take her mind off it. She went to her office believing work would help her. She had some blogs she had to get done, and some other writing projects she had to do some research for. She spent the day working and ignoring anything that could be tied to him, any sound she heard she just kept working. She wanted to know more about him, and what they shared, but he was so mysterious and dark. He never gave her any information she could use to figure anything out. As she finished up her last project of the day it was only four o’clock now. She leaned back in her chair. She had closed out everything on her computer, everything except Factcat, the search engine. She wondered what she could even search to begin trying to figure this out. She typed dark figure with piercing blue eyes into the browser. That brought back many things, like blue eyed women with dark hair, guys with dark piercing eyes, and a few others. There were pages of nonsense that had no bearing on anything she was looking for.

Dammit. She shut the laptop lid with force.

You are not going to find out anything about me from there. His voice was close, but she could not see him.

Where are you?

Right here, in the shadows my darling.

What shadows? This room has none.

I am in the shadows that exist when you turn out your lights.

What? She asked incredulously.

Silence was all she heard. She looked around the room from her chair considering his last statement. Standing she felt her stomach knot, she crossed the room to the light switch, turning it off she stood there for a moment. She knew he was there, turning she saw him in the corner by her desk.

How is it that I can only see you in darkness?

Because that is where I am. Somewhere between reality and the dark within you.

So, you are a part of me?

No darling, I am all you desire, everything you could ever imagine and more. I am inside you yes, but only because you want me there.

Are you real?

As real as you are.

Where are you when I can’t see you then?

Here, right beside you, always.

Are you God?

There is no such creature. I am only me.

What do I call you?

You always called me lover. But for now, Darkness will do.

Why?

Because it is what you have been calling me. You are the one who keeps saying it, nobody else.

Can you tell me about yourself, and why you are here now?

You know, it has just been so long since we last spent time together that you have forgotten.

I do not know you, and I do not know why you would ever be here for me.

Your aunt knew, she knew everything. Her last breath she told me you were coming home.

Why didn’t she tell me anything about this?

Because you would have stayed gone, and I couldn’t have that. I have been without you for way too long.

I left for a reason you know.

Yes, I know, better than you do I am afraid.

A year I have been back, why have you only come to me now?

I have always been here, you need me.

What do I need you for? I have this home, a good life, and everything seems to be working out exactly as I had hoped.

If that were true, you wouldn’t be dealing with the courts on a matter that could have been dealt with in other ways shall we say.

George? He was begging for that. I had enough of his rude ass comments and his advances. In all honesty, this is almost over, and I will be free from the courts real soon.

Is that why Marianne came all the way out here to see you? I thought she was checking to make sure you hadn’t ran away, again.

I didn’t run away, I went to college.

And how did that work out for you darling?

Just shut up. She yelled switching the light back on.

I am still here even if you can’t see me, Jess. I can’t leave you, nor do I want to.

She turned the light off once more turning and leaving the room. She wasn’t sure if he followed her or not, but she couldn’t see him in the light, and it was daytime. She sat down on the couch turning the tv on once more. Once again, the cashier Tanya was on the screen.

If anyone knows anything about my brothers or anything at all that might help, please call the sheriff’s hotline as we are looking everywhere for them. If you would like to help search, contact me. We have been forming search parties to look in the places I know they fish, and around the graffiti barn where we were going to meet, they were last seen on their way there. The police are available to take tips and any information, please help us find my brothers. Jessie clicked the tv off just as quickly.

Looking around she had more time on her hands than she thought. It was almost five now and she could have dinner and get ready for bed. If she just ignored him maybe, he would go away and take the nightmares with him.

The nightmares aren’t mine, they come from within you. His voice was always there, even if she just thought it, he knew.

But why?

They are images of things that haunt you, the life we live isn’t always a straight line darling.

Am I crazy?

No, but I may not be the person you should ask.

Why is that?

Because I love you.

What does that have to do with it? A made-up man in my head loves me and doesn’t think I am crazy. Sounds crazy to me.

Silence was all she heard. Had he finally left her? She didn’t think so, she could still feel him.

I am going to turn out the light, will you show me what you look like?

If that is what you want.

Is there anything I should know before I do? I don’t need any more surprises shocking me.

I do not believe so. He purred.

She looked around trying to imagine where he would appear. Darkness?

Yes Darling?

Don’t be right in front of me, okay. Just sit in my chair, I don’t want…

To be frightened?

No, I really don’t. She finished.

I will sit.

Thank you. She took a deep breath holding it for a split second before reaching the switch, bringing the darkness into focus. She turned slowly to see him sitting in her chair as she had asked, she let out a soft gasp. He was beautiful, not in the traditional sense of the word, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and to her he was beautiful. His skin was light speckled with soft brown freckles, the jeans he wore hugged his frame gently, he was broad in the shoulders with a medium build making him look like a lumberjack. She allowed her eyes to wash over every inch of his manly body, the T-shirt he wore was black, but there was a glint of deep emerald, green at his neck. It was a medallion, she couldn’t make it out fully from where she stood.

Darkness, may I come closer?

If you want to, yes. He smiled. It seemed to hint at the danger she felt when he was visible.

She crossed the room cautiously. Watching her every move he remained still. She crept closer to him, seeing how his salt and pepper hair lightly grazed his shoulders, The soft lines across his face made him appear to be more distinguished, but what really got her was his eyes. Deep pools of lighter and darker sapphire danced while she took in every single inch of him. He remained seated, smirking through his candor.

Am I to your liking darling?

You’re not at all what I expected.

Really? What were you hoping for?

I didn’t mean it like that. She was offended that he thought this way.

Please, by all means, tell me what you meant?

It was his voice throwing her off. You sound dangerous, and yet, you appear to be like any other middle-aged gentleman.

He chuckled under his breath, don’t be shy, say exactly what is on your mind.

She thought for a moment knowing he could read her like a book. Well for starters, you look like the cover of a bad vampire movie, or book, something along those lines.

Go on.

You just do not seem like you really fit, with your voice and those eyes.

This is simply a vessel, one in which you placed me many years ago.

I place you there?

Yes, you my darling. I would not be here if not for you.

So, I gave you shape, and this is what I came up with?

I am someone you once knew, someone you loved, someone you didn’t see yourself without.

Then why are you, this? A soul without a body, who disappears when the lights come on.

You see me as you want to see me.

What does that even mean? You are no help, if you are not going to answer my questions I do not have time for you. Come back when you can be honest with me. With that she flipped on the light.

I am still here Jess, you can't get rid of me. He chuckled. She stomped away from him angrily.

Fuck you.