SHADOWS OF THE PAST

Chapter 09

I walk everyone out and stay outside for a bit dreading going upstairs, for some weird reason my guy tells me not to go, because Bella looked pissed. I dont know why though, but I'm scared to go in, but I do nonetheless because how long am I going to be afraid for? Quite the irony, people are scared of me, the mean guy yet here am I, a 27 year old man scared of a 20 year old. How the f**k did it turn out like this. If anything she should be scared of me, not the other way around. Roy and Tyler are not in today, "f**k me" I scratch my face, how is it that everytime im in s**t with Bella they are not here, I just hope today she won't actually, hit me with the TV.

Like a few months, no… LiKe a few weeks back, she's standing on the foot of the steps, she's changed to her pajamas and sleepers, her hair draped in a doek and I swear she has never looked more beautiful. I even forget that I might be walking in a lions den. I stand rooted to my spot, asking whoever is above what I did to deserve such a beautiful woman who happens to be in love with me and I her. I-

"where were you?" okay, she definitely is crazy but beautiful nonetheless.

"outside" I answer. She looks at me like she can see right into my soul.

"earlier on, where did go? Because when i woke up, I found a house full of people with my husband nowhere in sight, might I add he left me sleeping and went to God knows where sick, for that matter" okay, fair enough, I should have left but she just called me her husband, I can't keep the grin off my face.

"Travis I'm asking you a question" she's too calm, I don't even know how to answer her question without raising suspicions.

"I went to get some air" I attempt to step forward when she stands up and looks at me square in the face.

"I dare you to lie to me Carlos, I dare you" now I'm scared, if I lie, she might know where I went and call me out on it, if I tell the truth, I might just be selling myself to the devil, what if she doesn't know.

"come on baby, can't a guy just get some air, I promise I wasn't doing anything wrong" she bites the bottom of her lips and smiles.

"you right, I'm sorry." phew, okay that went easy. I thought she would put a fight or something.

"I guess we all have to live our lives in doubts and constant fear of our partners first love coming back to claim what's yours"

I feel the air leave my lungs and cold water being splashed over my face.

"what are talking about"

"nothing" she descend the stairs and goes straight to the foyer.

"where are you going" I grab her hand.

"to go f**k my ex, apparently it's another term for getting som" air" "

I ruffly pull her towards me wanting to look her straight in the eye, "what the f**k did you just say?" jaw clenched, mouth pressed together, I have never felt my blood boil like this.

"what did you just say?" she returns the look and stares at me right into mh eyes, not blinking and showing no sign of backing down. "I asked you a question Isabella"

She pulls herself away from me and folds her arms. "you heard me, apparently that's what we do when we claim to get some air, do you still love her?" she chuckled and face palms herself as is saying thats a stupid question "of course you do, how can I be so stupid and asked you such, she will always have a part of you right, thats what you said, in your own words, how can I compete with her, I'm just some stupid naive-"

"would you cut it out? I don't have an idea of what you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Valery you moron" she pushes me on the shoulder, and I stagger a bit. "you still love her right? You know, I should have just left the first time I saw you guys together in bed, actually I did, I left, I wanted nothing to do with you, but you came back, to cause me more harm than good"

"SHUT UP" I can feel the veins popping in my head "shut up, you don't know a thing you talking about"

"of course I do"

"I SAID, SHUT THE HELL UP" and this time, she does. "why must everything be difficult with you? Huh? Why must you always fight? Can you never ask anything camly, f**k man"

She folds her arms and continues to look at me. "never, and I mean ever question my relationship with Valery, ever again. You dont know s**t okay" j look at her, she's bitting the bottom of her lips because it's quivering. "don't you dare cry because you started this, and which ex are you going to. I hope it's not that son of a b***h I saw you with at the restaurant because I will fucken kill you Isabella, I swear to God"

She stops biting her lips and let's the tears flow. "that's all you care about right?"

"what do you mean?"

"the fact that I have an ex, it's all that you care about. You don't care that you just admitted to me that you still in love with Valery right in front of my eyes"

What the f**k! She furiously wipes the tears away from her eyes.

"Bella I never said that" now I can feel myself calming a bit,.

"and neither did you say no when I asked if you still want her, but you already said it once, she has a part of you, so I won't stand in the way, that's why you went to see her tonight right"

"f**k no, she asked that we meet because -f**k it doesn't matter why, truth is you the only woman I love, I'm madly and desperately in love with you, can't you see that?"

I cup her face and wipe the tears from her face, she shakes her head before she answers me." no I don't, because everytime I try to look past everything you turn around and do another, I tired really, it's not good for my health, i was sick and you didn't even bother nor care about me enough to wait until I woke up before went to the love of your life, so I'm sorry I don't believe you "

I felt all kinds of pain at the same time, I felt my heart drop to my stomach at her words, I hope she doesn't say what I think she's going to say." baby what are you saying" I feel sick to my stomach.

she wipes her tears and steps away from me, "I don't know what I'm saying Travis, but I'm gonna go out of that door right this minute and please dont try to stop me, for once allow me to be, I need to find peace of mind and being here right this minute isn't helping neither one of us" she turns and heads to the door, leaving me standing in the middle of the hallway dead on mh tracks, did I just get dumped?

She gets to the door and looks at me, stars still running down her eyes, "congratulations, you going to be a daddy" the she vanished before I can even comprehend what she said. The moment my brain comes back to me I rush out the door and follow her outside but she's nowhere in sight, "no, no, no, no" I tugg my hair and punch the wall. This can't be happening, no it's not, I know I will wake up and it will be a dream. I know it will, so let me just go back In there because I know she will still be sleeping in our room just the way she was before I left, yes. Let me do that.