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Chapter One: What a liar!

Hey! No more pillow fighting for you!- I said to them.

Aww, but Mommy, we want to play with Daddy!- Said my little Lucia

You can play with Daddy after dinner, my love.- I said

What’s for Dinner?- Asked my tiny Luke

Your Daddy’s favorite red tomato pasta. - I replied

Ed looked at me with a confused expression which I thought was bizarre. Maybe he wasn’t in the mood for pasta? Or maybe something else was on his mind.

Well, let’s go to the dining room, the food’s getting cold.- I said.

Yes, we should get going. - suddenly my husband was becoming distant again. I don’t think it was because of the kids, it’s because of me and I don’t know why.

We walked towards the dining room. Nadia had just finished serving the food. I sat down. Lucia was next to her father and Luke was next to me, in case he needed help with his food. Ed didn’t bother to talk at all, that was very unlike him. At least the other days he made small talk with the kids, but clearly that wasn't going to happen today. We all sat there in silence until Lucia innocently asked

-Daddy, are you not speaking to Mommy anymore?

-Of course I am darling.- What a liar, of course he wasn't, but my kids didn’t have to know that.

- I think that your Dad might be a little tired, that’s why he doesn’t want to speak right now.- I said.

- Mommy, is Daddy too tired to speak to you?- Lucia said.

- I don’t know, perhaps we should ask him. - I said, looking straight into those new somber eyes.

- I think I am. I had a very rough day at work.- He said

-What happened? Is something wrong?- I asked, concerned. As much as I didn’t understand his current behavior, I still cared about him. I wanted him to prove me wrong, to prove that he wasn’t acting weird, to prove he wasn’t suddenly pushing me out of his life, but there was only one answer I expected from him.

- Nothing of importance, just small office things.- I knew it. That’s what he’s been saying for the last few days. I decided to gently push the truth out of him.

- Honey, if it’s nothing, why are you acting differently?

- Different? How?

- Well, you’re more quiet than usual. -I said.

Not to mention, it seemed like he almost didn’t want to touch me anymore, let alone see me, and that hurts. I didn't say that out loud just because my children were there, and I wanted to talk to him alone, so for my children's sake, I tried to remain composed. But what he did next surprised me.

-I am not acting differently. I said "I’m tired." You understand?- He talked with such hatred in his voice, he didn’t scream, he didn’t shout, but the weight of those words hurt like a knife to the heart. He got up and left the room.

My kids and I sat there while we processed everything. None of us were hungry anymore. I have never seen my husband like that and my kids have never seen his father like that. I regret bringing the topic up in front of my children. They didn’t need to be involved in this. I asked Nadia to take them to their room, while I went to look for my husband. I found him in our room, just getting out of the shower.

-What was that about? You scared the kids. - I said in the most reasonable voice I could find.

-I already said I’m tired. I don’t want to be lectured by you.

-I don’t care if you’re tired, you’re upset at me or just plain mad, you don’t do that to our children!- My voice broke, I was on the verge of tears. Who was this man? Lectured by me? What did he mean?

-I’m not upset at you. - He said

-Then why are you acting this way? I asked

-What do you mean?

-You don’t talk to me anymore, you don’t want to hug me, you don’t like me touching you anymore, you snap at your kids, you act indifferent around me, it’s like you don't want to see me! Tell me what is going on, please!- I couldn’t help but start crying at that point.

I sat on my side of the bed, rivers of tears leaving my face. All the pain of his indifference, all the hurt I was feeling was there for him to see, but he sat next to me and said the worst thing I’ve ever heard in my life.

-I think I love someone else.