Captured

{14} Confusion

Sara Beth's POV:

After coming home from the lake to find the house empty, I was slightly relieved. I ran upstairs and slammed my door shut. I am so angry at Zach. How could he? Yes, he had been a jerk before, but there is something there, my gut is telling me this and I've always trusted my instincts. Now, I'm just pissed and confused as hell. I can't make heads or tails of what's going on.

My emotions get the best of me and I can't stop the tears from falling. I crawl into my bed, place my back against the wall and pull my knees up to my chest. I let out a sob. I hear my bedroom door open. I raise my head and see my worried-looking father enter the room.

"Wanna talk about it?" He asks. I nod, even though I really didn't want to talk about it. However, one positive thing coming out of my mother's death is how close my dad and I have gotten and how I've come to depend on our talks. He takes a seat next to me and waits. He is a great listener.

"I feel in the dark." My start is not exactly where I thought I would start, but this is what pops out.

"What do you feel in the dark about?" He questions.

"Every since we moved to Mountain Springs, my emotions have been misfiring and crisscrossing. It's like things are happening around me and everyone knows, but me," I confess.

"Well, sweetie, that's because you are in the dark. There are a lot of things happening at this very moment which you are not informed of." I look at my father with indignation, but he shows only truth. "I can't tell the full story because I don't know the full story; however, if you want the truth, you must be prepared to hear the truth." I nod. "But, before we cross that bridge, what happened with Adam and Zach?" He asks. How the hell did he know about Zach? It must be Scott as they all work together.

"To start, my date with Adam was a total disaster and that's putting it mildly. He was so pompous and rude, but slyly so. He flirted with the staff and showed off his money and ordered for me. Not to mention he kissed me without my consent. Even when he held my hand, I was just repulsed and creeped out." I repeat the story I told Leah.

"I see. Sounds like you won't be seeing him any time soon." He states sternly.

"I thought so, but he randomly showed up at the lake. He found me while Scott, Zach, Leah, and myself were swimming. He wanted me to go with him, alone, on his boat. I told him no thanks and you could see his anger at my refusal, but the worst part was he said he would see me at the charity ball, implying I would be going with him!" My voice raising as my anger flares. My father remains calm and lets me vent. I take a moment to calm down, breathing deeply. "The thing is dad, not only did he not ask properly or wait for a response, he only did it to anger Zach and Zach fell for it." I feel tears well in my eyes.

"Why does that bother you?" It's a good question. I'm not completely sure, but I have my suspicions.

"He's supposed to be smart. One of the town leaders, right? But, he blows hot and cold when it comes to me. One second he's protective, the next insulting, then brooding, then angry, then quiet, then seductive." My father turns his head toward me.

"Seductive?" I nod. "Can you explain without crossing too many lines with your old man?" I chuckle slightly.

"Dddaaadddd! Come on, be serious. A man like Zach would never want a nobody like me. Let's be honest." It's only half of how I feel.

"That's bullshit and you know it, Sara! You're as beautiful as your mother, talented like us both, and stronger than the two of us ever could dream of being. I don't ever want to hear you downgrade yourself again. You know your worth. Period." I nod silently because I do know, but Zach confuses everything.

"I just seem so small compared to him. It's like I'm not worthy of him."

"And do you want to be?" That's the question, isn't it? Do I? Yes, I think I do, but how do I prove my worth?

"I think so. I just have so many emotions when I'm around him. My head goes fuzzy and I can't see straight, but he never seems to be bothered. Or maybe he is and he just knows how to hide it better. I don't know." I explain, exasperated.

"You never answered my question." He redirects me to my seductive comment. I had hoped to derail it, but no such luck.

"I asked him to take me out on the lake a second time so I could take some pictures of the setting sun. He begrudgingly obliged. He was nice to hold my legs while I got an excellent view of the water's surface and also held me steady while standing on the bow. However, when we got back to shore, everyone was gone and he seemed mad again. He drove us back in silence. But he finally asked me, once I was on the trail home, what I saw in Adam?"

"Ah! And you said?"

"That I didn't see anything in him. Then, he asked what I saw in him. He claimed to know how I felt for him. He then tried to prove his point by drawing me close to him, whispering in my ear, and lightly touching my skin—"

"Okay, okay, I get the picture. None of this explains your tear-stained face and emotional state." My dad holds his hands to his ears. I roll my eyes and shake my head.

"I was getting to that point, dad. He said, "I see how you react to me. Does Adam do that for you? I should be the one taking you to the ball, not him." He made it a competition between himself and Adam! As if I'm some prize to be won!" I throw my head on my knees in frustration.

"I see." He wraps his arm around me. "First, I think Adam is a creep and I do think he has an ulterior motive. I think your gut instinct is right about him. As for Zach, I think he has some things in his past preventing him from seeing things clearly. I think he likes you, but doesn't know what to do with his feelings, so they come out jumbled. Second, Zach and I had a long talk the night you and Adam went on your date." My eyes widen at this revelation. Why did Zach talk to my dad? "Now, before you get yourself into a tizzy, I'm actually the one who started the conversation. We were working on the security cameras and it fell on the hardware store. I told him how I felt about Adam. I want the best for you and Adam, isn't it."

"And what did Zach have to say?" I want to know what he told my father.

"He admitted he was a total ass to you, but the more he talked the more I could tell he was doing it to protect you."

"Protect me? That doesn't make any sense, dad! Why be an asshole to protect someone? All that does is push the person away."

"Exactly. He doesn't want to let you get close to him. Maybe it's something in his past, maybe he is scared to let anyone get close to him, maybe there are things he, too, is scared of and, as a leader, you never want to show weakness or fear."

"So you're saying he treated me this way to keep me away from him, but in actuality, he might have feelings for me?" I look at my dad for answers.

"What does your gut say?" I stop and let my mind process. What does my gut say? I feel a pull toward Zach, not Adam, yet Zach pushes me away with his brooding and rudeness. Could my father be correct?

"It says I'm an i***t for having feelings for someone who will never return them." I lower my head again as the tears threaten to fall. It's true. I did feel something for Zach even through his hurtful actions. Why couldn't he be like he was when we were swimming? Carefree, charming, fun, and no anger.

"Now, I know my little girl better than anyone. Is that really what you think? I think you should give yourself time to process and then, talk to him." My dad's advice resounds in my head.

"I'm supposed to go to his birthday bash this weekend, but I told Leah I wasn't sure if I could make it or not. I don't think I should go. I think I should just go back to being invisible." With those words, my dad starts laughing. Full belly laugh. I look up at him as he is having a hard time breathing. Finally, he gets his laughter under control.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help but laugh. Sweetie, you could never be invisible. You were born a star, it's in your nature to sparkle!" I roll my eyes at his cheesiness. He gets up from my bed, kisses the top of my head, and heads toward the door. "Don't give up so easily. Give him a chance to make things right. You've always listened to your gut and I have no doubt it will lead you to your answer. Go to the party. Talk to him." I watch my father walk out of my bedroom. I lay my head back and let my mind wonder. I am soon fast asleep.

The week flew by. Who knew time would pass so quickly when burying your head in the sand? I avoided Zach all week. I needed space to clear my head. I was even able to avoid his presence at the store. Luckily, Mr. Miller had sent me on an errand when he came by. I thanked him profusely. He laughed and shook his head at me.

I also spent a lot of time developing my photos. I needed to put the final touches on my wolf picture and I also decided to enter a few from the lake, which turned out stunningly beautiful. I decided to make the wolf picture larger so it would definitely be a statement piece in someone's home, but kept the others quite a bit smaller so they could be accent pieces. I was excited to see how this auction would turn out.

It's now Saturday night and I'm sitting in my room, dressed in my knee-length teal sundress. My makeup is light, my hair is half up, half down, and my shoes are comfortable flats with a little flower on the top. Yet, here I am lost in my thoughts on whether to stay or go. I feel foolish and anxious at the same time. I'm excited about seeing him while dreading the talk I know is bound to happen.

My phone dings. I flip it over for the 100th time. It's Leah, again.

Leah: Are you coming? The party has already started. Just let me know so we can have someone meet you on the trail.

I don't respond. I suddenly hear a low knock on my door. My dad cracks the door and sees me.

"How did I know I would find you like this? Sara Beth, look at me." I gaze toward him. "If you don't go, you will always wonder. Good, bad, or indifferent. You need to go and you need to get the answers you seek." He's right. He's always right. I nod and grab my gift for the birthday boy.

I walk down the trail and can already hear music coming from the house. I slowly make my way up to the back deck. There are people everywhere. The smell of hamburgers fills the air. As I get closer, there's a scent mixed with the hamburgers, but I can't quite make it out. It's a fresh linen and coconut smell. I assume someone has a candle going. I suddenly sense him. I lock eyes with Zach. He seems to be in a trance as he watches me walk toward him. I see Scott and Zach's father out of the side of my eye, watching our interaction.

I stand in front of him. He hasn't moved since seeing me. His eyes bore into mine almost as if he is seeing me for the first time. Not enjoying the awkward silence, I break eye contact and clear my throat.

"Happy birthday, Zach. I brought you a gift." I hand him the gift. He takes it from me. Before I can move away and without warning, he smashes his lips to mine.