BLESSED

Chapter 6

Camilla's POV

Tyler does know that I’m pregnant with his kid and maybe he might be thinking of that right now, as I’m here eating the foot I was craving for. But I have a feeling that he deep down doesn't care as much as I want him to.

Maybe later he’ll want to be a part of the kid’s life, and will finally want to be a father, but I won’t wait forever my life has to go on, with or without him.

When I’m finally finished and ready to leave I hear a knock on my window, turning my head and opening the dark window that was keeping me from seeing the person’s face I see that it’s Tyler.

He looks tired and his eye bags are bigger than ever, maybe he’s not as fine as I thought he was.

“ Hey,” He simply says.

“ Hey,” I say back, I have no idea about what he wants to talk about but I feel like I should leave the car. Lifting my hand to the door and signing him that I’m leaving he takes a step back, giving me enough space to open the car door.

I close it behind me and then lean of the car, letting my back hit the door. 

Noticing how his eyes unconsciously dropped to my belly and then to my face again, I giggle. Maybe he is thinking about the baby indeed, but I still have a feeling that it’s telling me that he doesn’t want it.

“ You really kept your promise,” He whispers and his eyes drop to my belly again, I know that he’s talking about the promise that I’ve made to my mother, I didn’t know that he was listening to what I was telling him.

The night I talked to him about it was when we were both taking a nap in his house, he was falling asleep on my chest and asked me to tell him something about myself, and that was the first thing that crossed my mind.

But I thought he was asleep…

Maybe he did listen to all I said to him…

“ I did indeed, and I plan on keeping it,” I say and look down as well. He smiles slightly and I wonder what is going on inside his head.

He might be imagining what it would be like to stay with me and with the baby, all of us living our lives…

Or he might be imagining what it would be like to have kids with Melissa and be happy with her.

Even though he’s tired I still know that he’s happy with her, I saw the way he was looking at her and his laugh sounded genuine.

Tyler will have his happily ever after, but unfortunately, it won’t be with me.

“ I’m sorry,” he whispers, and it's the first time that I hear him say something like that.

He had never apologized before, sometimes because it wasn’t needed or he would just brush it off and never apologize, and now hearing the words come out of his mouth, even if it wasn’t very loud.

I feel like he has changed.

It hasn't been even a week since we’ve broken up and looks like he’s a different person already, he might have changed for her… but I guess I’ll never know.

“ You don’t need to be,” I whisper, making him look at me in the eye for a second, confusion and regret is clearly noticeable even though he’s trying to hide it. 

Tyler was never good at hiding his emotions, smiles would break out of his face when he was happy and he would be down when we were sad, maybe it is noticeable or it is just me that knew him too well for his own good.

And that’s the reason I was prepared for what was going to happen, I could see the love that he had for me was fading away and I saw the way he was looking at Melissa, I just never admitted it because I felt like I needed him.

I needed him because if I didn’t have him I would be alone, and I'm somehow scared of that, being alone with myself for too long scares me in a way that I can’t understand…

But I’ll forgive him anyway, that is what I do, is not his fault that he fell in love with another girl, I was not enough for him and it’s fine, even if it does break my heart, we’re not the ones who chose who we fall in love with.

He stays quiet, obviously lost in his thoughts, he wasn't expecting me to forgive him so easily, and now that I did, he might be more confused than ever.

Author’s POV

Tyler’s head was filled with thoughts, after everything he had done to her, she was forgiving him without yelling or telling him how bad he treated her.

She was not mad that his love for her was not the same anymore and didn’t even speak about Melissa who was now inside the café, waiting for Tyler to come back. She knew that they had things to talk about and she respected his privacy so didn't ask any question when he left after her.

Camilla forgives easily and Tyler knew that he had seen her forgive people so fast for things that some would take years to forget about, something like this.

This is one of the moments that Camilla is too nice for her own good, she shouldn’t forgive him. Instead, she should simply be mad at him and never talk with him again, but here they’re

In a parking lot, simply staring at each other as the seconds, that feel like years, pass by. 

“ You shouldn't forgive me,” Tyler says out loud, he wants her to know how he feels, for once he’s going to tell her something about himself. “ I’ve treated you so badly these last months, and I should have just told you how I felt instead of waiting more and more, making you suffer…” 

Now is Camille’s turn to be confused about what she’s doing to say, he’s telling her how he felt and she’s not used to it. He’s right maybe if he had told me what he felt they would have solved it out sooner, way sooner…

She wouldn’t be pregnant now and maybe she wouldn’t feel broken as she does now.

Even if Camille doesn't want to admit it, she did love him, and when he left her there the day she told him she was pregnant, she felt like a piece of her left with him. 

And now she’s left with a piece of her that is only remaining because of the baby that is growing inside of her.

“ It’s fine Tyler, you don’t need to feel like that, I’ve noticed that you changed and I don't blame you for that, it happens,” She smiles slightly, a sad smile that only made Tyler feel more guilty about the things he had made only a few days ago. “ But do not blame yourself for loving someone, and do not blame yourself for not knowing how to explain what you feel,” Tears are threatening to fall but Camille doesn’t want to do that in front of him.

Being pregnant has made her more sensitive, but she still didn’t want to break in front of him. She already knew that he was feeling guilty for what he had done and didn’t want to make it worst.

“ I still should have been better.” He whispers and suddenly hugs Camille, who takes a little to hug him back but lets her arms wrap around his torso, a movement that once was a habit and now will only happen rarely.

In the first months that they’ve dated, Tyler was so in love with her that wouldn’t let her be more than one hour without at least five hugs, she didn’t complain because she loved the feeling of having his arms around her, she still does.

He would take her on dates, take her to the beach to watch the sunset even if he didn't say anything special in it, they discovered that secret place on the beach together and used to go there even if it’s just to have a simple picnic or just enjoy each other’s company.

But then things changed, he stopped hugging her as often and when he did he would always grab some part of her body like he was only dating her for that, she doesn’t miss that type of touch, she loved it when she felt like he loved her back, but when that feeling changed she didn’t know what to do about it.

The dates stopped happening and Tyler stopped going to the beach with her completely, saying that it was boring and he didn’t want to spend his time watching colors in the sky, he never went to their secret place again and now it was only hers and some stranger’s that ended up discovering it too, in those times she missed having his company.

And Tyler was now thinking about he suddenly stopped treating her like she deserved, the way she thought it was too much, she thought that she was having too much attention and she didn’t deserve to be loved like that.

The love he gave her was way more than she thought she would even receive in her life and she felt glad for that and when it stopped she felt like she deserved it.

Like this was the type of love that she deserved, the love that would make her feel bad about herself and make her wonder if she was or ever would be enough of him.

A love that would make her want to be better for him, a love that could even make her hate herself.

Because that’s what she thought she deserved, and the human being seems to only accept what he thinks he deserves…

That is why even not being the same nice and happy girl she was before she couldn't get herself out of the relationship.

Tyler didn’t know that part but she didn’t plan on telling him either, it is something that she will like to keep to herself as long as she can.

Before she could even think about anything else, the hug was over, his arms were not wrapped around her body anymore and she felt like a little bit of her left with him again.

“ I’ll see you around,” He says and she nods, giving him a small smile that he knew she was faking. “ Stay safe,” Tyler says before turning his back to her.

He wanted to stay and talk about the kid she was going to have, talk about what they were going to do because even if he doesn’t want to accept it yet, he is the father of the child.  

Tyler wanted to stay with Camilla and be a part of the baby’s life, but he has his motives not to and unfortunately, he can’t tell Cami what are those motives will keep him from staying with his own child.

Melissa is one of them.