That Time of Year

2 - Reminisce

ALEX

Natasha and I were walking back to her little house behind the Hartville House. My heart felt like it was going a mile a minute! It's Natasha, why am I freaking out? We rounded the corner toward the back of her little home. She had a small fire going and sat on the small bench. I sat down slowly beside her. I felt ginormous in the little thing! I didn't want it to budge. After I settled in, she grabbed the small quilt, I imagine she was using before, and draped it on to me. I smiled a thank you to her. "Gosh, Alex, who knew you were so cool." She teased, grabbing her joint and lighting it. I remember a time she would smack me or Dawson if we ever even thought to. I watched her slowly inhale the smoke and let it out in a big billow over the fire. "I remember a time when you about ripped me and Dawson's ears off when you caught us with on of Joe's cigarettes." I laughed. She scoffed a laugh, coughing. "Oh my gosh! That's worse than weed!" We laughed. Once we calmed, she began, "I normally wouldn't. It was just, unfortunately, a great crutch for the anxiety and depression. Now, it's a little guilty pleasure/habit." I was a little confused, and before I could think, "For what?" Natasha always appeared so strong. Yeah, maybe after the last few years she's become a bit quiet but - I was also a recovering addict then too. Natasha sighed, "Trin's dad. I don't know, I know you weren't around much then or after." Ouch. The innocent, factual comment was a ding in the ribs of my ego. "Right." I said, shortly. I could tell she felt like she offended me. I sighed, "Before that, though, I always knew you to be strong, bossy, and really great, Nat. And you are right, I wasn't around. Even if I was, I can't say I always remember what happened... Dawson will tell ya." She nodded, watching me intently, "But I always remember one thing about you." Her mischevious smirk made my stomach flutter a little. "What's that, Diaz?" She asked me. And again, before I could think, "Beautiful. In and out." Her smirk disappeared. She watched me for what seemed like a long few seconds. I cleared my throat, "I just don't think you need to rely on the bud. You're too powerful sober anyhow. And beautiful." Why was I saying that again! She was going to think I was a geek! "But it seems all has been well for you - or bettered - while I was gone." I took a breath. Nat seemed ready to move off of the subject as well.

We sat there and tackled topic after topic. Even to the point we were talking about our exes. "Yeah! Literally, would flip out over mismatched socks on me or our kid. Anal as hell!" We laughed some more. "Okay, so I have to ask," Natasha readjusted herself to face me, criss-crossed legs. "...Is it true your ex was a huge... 'witch'?" I laughed. Must've been Dawson's way of describing her. And then suddenly the dark, cloudy memories flowed back.... "Uh, yeah... She's how I got addicted." Natasha's wild smile disappeared like a candles light when you blow it out. "Oh... s**t, Alex, I wasn't trying to be funny about that..." I shook my head, "Hey, it happened. And you weren't here for that." Nat sat her hand on my knee affectionately. But it wasn't weird or making me wildly hard like it may have when I was a kid. It was warm and reassuring. "I say that because I've always thought you were sweet, Alex. Granted, I'm only 4 years older, but to watch what you had to deal with, hear about it... You always remained kind." Her kind words made me happy and guilty all at once. "Nah," I said a little bothered. I wasn't always kind. And it was this time of year that reminded me just how unkind I was - and could be. I looked over at Nat. She was staring at the fire, her hand still on my knee. I began to observe. Yeah, for being 31 and having a kid, she looked like a f*****g supermodel. Her skin was so clean and smooth. Traveling up the pretty tan skin of hers I got to shoulders, her collar bone looked so sharp and soft, it'd be almost to fragile to kiss... My coat was now hanging off of her shoulders, slightly exposing she didn't have a bra on under her thermal flannel and tank top under that. Her breasts were full and perky. I'd always thought Nat was hot but now - not being 14 or in my earlier 20's, it was like looking at art. She even looked tired. But not like 'bad' tired. Sexy tired. Like she'd just worked hard all day for her child, like she is bettering herself, like she's human. And her heavy eyelids, looked so sultry. Especially how full and pouty her lips were. If this is her now, I imagine when she gets all gussied up. Oh, fuck....

NATASHA

The fire's ember's burned so bightly and so beautifully. I was in a trance. "If I had to say what my favorite, most specific, color was... I'd say ember-orange... Just look how pretty." I suddenly felt gloved fingertips push back my hair that fell forward. I looked to find Alex looking at me, brushing the hair behind my ear, "I am." My heart was pounding. Why was this encounter becoming... weird? It's not weird, it's Alex! But maybe because I was who I was; just the big sister. Feeling all cozy by this fire with Alex. And he was making me feel even cozier! Alex began to lean in closer. I did too. His presence was so warming I was almost hot in temperature being this close. I felt myself hesitate. He looked into my eyes. "It's late. Let's get you inside." He said, in a serious tone. Giving me a tight smile. Oh my goodness, I made it weird! "Yeah, probably best before you catch your death out here." I winced at what I said. What am I in? Shakesperian times?!

We rose and walked back in loud silence to the house and where we left Dawson. I turned to him, shrugging off his coat, "Thanks for helping me with Dawson. And for the time and conversation." I handed it to him and braced my hands on the woven-wooden handle to the sled. "Thanks for having me." Alex smiled. I gave the shed a shove and began our few yards to the small shed. I tried waking Dawson again once he was in, but when he didn't budge, I turned on the heater in the shed and closed it up for his peace. Joe's big rule, 'You come to our haven trashed, shed.' I walked from around the corner to the patio and Alex's truck was roaring to life and reversing out of our driveway. I watched him leave until the lights turned away from the house and headed back to my little home.