That Time of Year

7- Scratch the record

NATASHA

“‘You okay?” Dawson asks interrupting my thoughts. I look at him, nodding as I am kneading a sour dough. “You’ve barely been paying any mind to this conversation, I’m going to start just writing you letters if I have to wait this long for responses.” Dawson raved on at me then began telling me about the snowboard league he joined recently. My brain was so cluttered in thoughts. So he did want to kiss me. He does want me! But do I even want him? I sighed because I did. My guilty conscience bloomed as I begin listening to Dawson again. Ugh, would I be a terrible sister if i did talk to Alex? What would Mom and Joe think? Would it be okay because it’s Alex? Would it not be- because he’s Alex?

Alex wasn’t a bad person. Definitely a damaged kid. I mean his parents were absent, he was always with us. Sure, he got into some trouble but he was never a bad kid. Person. Why was I trying to be able to make an argument about it?! I can’t date someone 5 years younger than me. God! I felt ancient even though these boys kept me young growing up. “Well, thanks for the lunch." Dawson wiped his face. I raised a brow at him, grabbing his plate which had his lunch discards. "When are you going to get a girlfriend to make your lunches?" I joked. Dawson laughed, shrugging on his coat, "When I get one and you start being bad at it." I smiled, "Noted." "Love ya, sis." I waved, signing him that I loved him too. Goodness. I was a shitty sister.

My phone rang and without paying any mind I answered with it on speaker. "Hello." I said. Silence. I paused, now looking at the screen. f**k. "David?" I said. "Hey, Natasha. I was just calling to see if you'd be okay with Trin staying just staying one more night?" I was about to object when I saw a familiar truck outside the shop. "Um - Sure. I'll get with you or your mom to get her after tomorrow." I responded. Watching as a sexy Alex step out of his truck. Damn, when did he get so damn stong? "Natty!" A stern David's voice rang in my head. "Huh?" I snapped back into my phone conversation with Trin's dad. "I was asking if maybe you'd want to come up?" I heard my shop bell ring, My eyes found his fast. Alex turned and locked the shop door. s**t. "Probably not, I got a customer. Talk to you later." I hit the red disconnect button and watched Alex approach. "What's the special today?"He rested his hands on the counter on the customer's side. His exposed thermal under his coat was streched acrossed him like it was a super suit. His muscles bulging. I took a deep breath. I used to toss this punk in the lake. I wasn't going to let him turn me to putty this time... so fast anyway. "A creme-tart." I said simply. Not even realizing the inuendo. I flushed so hard and his gaze was tantalizing and exciting! "And if you get two you get a free coffee." I added the actual special details for innocence. Alex smirked. "Can I lick it off of you?" I was too stunned to speak. I wasn't super experienced. I'd only been with two people. And only of the two did I sleep with. "Alex," I said breathless. Gripping the counter for support. He jsut kept smirking. He began to round the counter to the opening. To me. "Nat." He says, shaking his head. His eyes boring into mine. "Do you understand how badly I want you... And I am so sorry that when you kissed me," he was now on my side of the counter, nearing as he spoke. "... I didn't mean to make you feel any bad way. I was just surprised. And I can't lie, Dawson popped in my head... Not like that!... But I can't help it. I always thought you were so sexy and you're so fun and kind and I would do about anything," Alex stopped right in front of me, I was hanging on his words. "... to taste you. To please you. 'Make you feel like you're the only woman on this earth. Let me return the favor of your sweet kisses and make you teeter on the brink of ecstacy." I was standing there my mouth agape. Oh my god, oh my god... "I-," I started. But that's when Alex scooped me up effortlessly, walking me to the back and setting me on one of the prep counters. "Alex!" I seethed and giggled at the same time, "Someone will see us!" Alex's wide tongue licked on my neck and made me literally melt like ice cream on a hot day. He grabbed my chin again firmly buy with a passion that made me submit so easily. Thats when he did it. He kissed me! I was flying. His lips moved so rhythmic with mine, his tongue coaxing mine out. He gripped my hips and grabbed at me like I was the life raft he so desperately was reaching for. My body sang! I was pushing his coat off and he was tugging at my apron. When randomly I got an image… an image of Alex. When we were teens. His smile was so sweet and innocent. So cute. And now, I was… “Ho-ho-hold on, Alex.” I said, still dripping for him. Once he heard me, he cupped either aide of my face, “You okay, mama?” I smiled, placing my hands on top of his on either side and nodding yes. “I just got a weird… You know how you said Dawson popped in your head?” Alex nodded, knowing. “Well, I saw you. Younger, 15-16 year old you. And then I thought about what I was doing and freaked out a little…” I admitted. I waited for him to be flustered. He watched me. “I guess I never thought how weird it could be. I mean - aside from not telling him it happened - I like you, Nat.” Something about when he called me Nat. No one actually ever called me that. They always thought of other names to call me. “And I wouldn’t do anything to disrespect you.” His reassurance was so comforting. “Did you want to forget this happened?” I asked, twisting my loose apron ends. “Do you?” He backed away when he asked me. The coolness of his absence was uncomfortable but I felt I could think clearer. “Can we talk about it?”

ALEX

Talk about it? I thought to myself. What’s to talk about? You’re into me, so it seems, and I’m into you. “Sure, we can.” I answered with instead. She stayed in her spot and I leaned against the table. "So..." I urged. Standing here with my d**k straining in my jeans wasn't ideal. "I'm sorry for kissing you... I feel bad because your Dawson's close friend, I've practically grown up with you. Seen you in most of your phases in life..." She continued to babble about the obvious. "Okay, I know all this. And I agree about the Dawson part. We need to tell him-," I watched her eyes grow so wide and she hopped off of the counter, shaking her head side to side. "What do you mean?" I asked, confused. "We couldn't tell him that! Anyone for that matter." I looked at her now in awe! "You expect me to lie to my best friend? Your brother and family? The principal of it all...?" I was waiting for her face to change. Look remorseful. But she seemed to still be waiting for me to spew out a better answer. "You're crazy, Nat." I scoffed a laugh. "Look," I said, adjusting myself, "If it isn’t work for you then that's fine. I’m an adult. But you seem to be the only one bothered about everything." I said pointedly to her. I’ll admit my ego was bruised. She sounded so embarrassed of me before. Of us interacting beyond what we have. I mean, yeah, she was Dawson’s older sister. I’d seen her all her weird life. I’m not dangling that in her face. Or thinking of that. And she kissed me, dammit!

NATASHA

“I am an adult too!” I snapped, not very adult like back at him. “Look it was just a one off, okay? I don’t think it is fit for him to know or for anyone for that matter, even if we did f**k around.” He studied me. I watched him too, not wanting to let him get the best of me. He smirked, pressing his full lips together. “Okay, then it was a one off, Nat. Please excuse me. Plus, I’d never do such a thing without talking to you about it first.” He began to put his gloves on and his beanie. He looked damned good in one. “I’ll see you around.” He said with a raise of his brows, and through the door he went.

I huffed as I gathered myself, bothered. Okay so maybe I was looking into this way too deep. I did kiss him and frankly, wasn’t against whatever would or could have happened.