On My Sunset

chapter 1

Don't think of anything.

Don't say anything, not even a word.

Just give me a smile.

I still can't believe

All of this seems like a dream

Don't try to disappear..

Is it true? Is it true?

You, you,You're so beautiful, i'm scared

Untrue, untrue, you , you, you

Will you stay by my side?

Will you promise me?

I'll let go of your hand, you might fly away and break , i'm scared...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I switch off my alarm as i open my eyes to the sound of the melody i wanted to hear till my last breath.

In the fussy moment of not letting go of this, i close them again. To stop this moment, so i could collect it in the little box of my memories before it skips away.

The sound of the wind chimes tingling as the soft breeze of air makes them brush against each other. I would descibe it as something alluring. To be here, living this.

The slight hint of the sunlight reaches to the bed, but not enough to get to my face..

I could feel some hair touch my cheek. But i decide not to bother about it. In the chilly winter morning.. when the world is still freezed with the cruelty, i still am, pure and warm as i gently caress the white shinny arm which keeps me clutched to the human closer to me..!

I move my head a bit to the side.. so as to look at the person whose hair willingly- unwillingly caress my cheek..

I open my eyes just a little to look at the face I've been looking at for the past year. It wasn't that short of a time that i would not remember every inch of his face, but it wasn't long enough that i would remember it completely..!

Gazing lovingly at the man I've always dreamed to see first when I wake up..

His narrow eyes, his thick lashes..

His long nose.. quite beautiful bridge..! His cheek.. gentle.. lovely.. white.. shinny.. glowing every time any trace of light touches them..

His lips.. not red as the say it in movies, but the best shade of pink that i've ever seen, just like a rose.. or tulip to be precise..!

His features were complete, but the feeling of something missing remained. I blinked my eyes looking for the mole. It looked perfect in its place making him look beautiful, as always..!

His hair falling on his forehead as i kissed it lightly trying not to disturb him from his sleep. We do that often, but would never admit to be being that smitten by each others presence.

The feeling of peace was the best thing i've had and wished to have till my last day.

I stared at him, as the corner of my lips move upwards, slightly. Thinking of the night before..

The smile on his face, that captivating look in his eyes, that soft voice of his. Quite manly at times.. but cute at other. His fingers.. pretty and thin that intertwined in mine.. as i held his hand, falling in deeper with the words that left his mouth. Those weren't his, but it still felt close to my soul. Our song.

His torso, which was the best thing to lay my hands on as he kissed me. It always felt like a fairy tale. I believe it is-

But the reason i appreciated it the most was because i could feel his heartbeat whenever he would get nervous..!

My smile grew wider thinking of the lilies he bought, instead of the roses which the typical couples admire. The beautiful lights he had decorated the house with, instead of some scented candles..

The calm silent room he kept instead of some low ringing melodies. The pretty warm and plain clothes he was dressed in rather than some fancy suit. The white dress he gifted me rather than some classy red dress that could catch someone's eye.

Everything just how i liked it. Simple and sweet.

That night was the best night in my experiences. How he sang my favorite song instead of playing it on, when i wished to dance. His touch not new, yet the feeling of reborn i had.

The talk which kept me up all night; sometimes funny, soothing at the other. As i hear him speak and tell me stories which i already knew, but i didn't mind listening them again as long as i can hear his voice. The frequencies of words changing and things he had been saying were making me worried about him, afraid his innocence would get lost in the pace of time if not protected..!

But he still was ready to fight the world for me, reckless. My mind wandered a bit, it always does. And when it did, he would get it. Yet he would continue his stories, bringing me back to the moment by touching my hand gently.

I smiled. Smiled and a tear escaped my eyes, unwillingly for sure as i had promised him not to cry. But thinking of all those sleepless nights we've had..! Both of us..! Having a talk which none of us appreciated but yet had to, came to my mind. The talk which is normal people refer to as a fight! A quarrel. The fight of dominance which we had. The fight of understanding, he had!

He always wanted me to let go of things. And i always wanted him to hold on to things. In this fight for the right, no one won nor did anyone lose. No one was right, no one was wrong; but we still kept fighting. To prove my point, so did he..!! At a point we both wanted to give up; but waited for the other one to surrender first.

At times, i had seen in his eyes.. how hurt he was. And thoughts of letting it go clouded me, he was the only thing i had. But the thought of,

couldn't he see the pain in my eyes..?! made me hold my guard up.

Well. he apologized, always. And i was left feeling guilty. Yet i refused to show it and he never needed me to do so. Whether i show, whether i don't; he would never leave the control.. he won't..!

'A child at heart' everyone said, but to me, he was the adult i've never seen or met before, everyday.

This was a relation where no one had the control to be precise. We both wanted and played an equal role.

Someday he got it, and i did not.

At the end of the day.. its atleast not betrayal, is what i thought.

My heart skipped a beat, as his eyes opened. He moved a bit, but didn't let me go. I know he would never. His eyes finding those timid mine, which had it all.

'All that I need' as he would say.

But i never believed, not a single day.

His words never matched his actions. And i didn't want to complain. But the aftermath always left me in pain.