Remembering Lily

Eternal Connection

I was not scared to return the same intensity of gaze and scrutinizing he was giving to me, like a criminal who did a crime with the intention to be caught.

"Why- Why are you wearing Lily's earrings?"

"These are mine," I answered.

The skies are angry and the wind blew strong. I did hear on the news that today's weather is anticipated to be bad but I felt so good about today that I have forgotten about it. It was not important anyway, not until raindrops start to fall.

I looked up in the skies, not that there's anything to see except for darkness, not even a single star visible. It's about to rain hard. I just know.

"I have to go." I just decided to say before the rain starts to fall. It would be hard to see the road with the darkness. I might as well go.

Before I could turn back, the rain poured harder. Yohan pointed to the restaurant's entrance. I didn't know what he meant. "What?" I screamed because the wind and the sound of the rain make it hard to hear.

Before I get all wet, I just decided to go back to the car and have this... whatever this is later. I moved away from him but he held my hand, "It will be hard to drive! Stay here for a moment!" He screamed back at me and lead me back to the restaurant.

I was unsure if I should be staying here. I know I want to be with him but I don't think now is the right time. However, none of these matter at the moment with the rain pouring hard and shows no signs of stopping anytime soon. I stood outside and looked at the branches of the trees swaying back and forth. It seems like heaven wants me here.

My arms are starting to feel cold and I hugged myself as the cold breeze continues to kiss my skin. Obviously, the wrong day to wear sleeveless. I may have survived death but I could die again with this freezing.

"Here, wear this for now." The warmth of the coat Yohan was wearing earlier that I now do was an immediate but temporary cure for the freezing. I was about to thank him but he spoke again, "Why don't you stay for a coffee inside?"

It was hard to say no, I must admit. Besides, I have nowhere else to go so I again followed him back inside. He told the waiter to bring us coffee which I willingly obliged. My eyes just followed his every move. Just observing him with this near distance. I am so close to him. I have always been so close to him in literal terms but it was something that I just took for granted. When you spend years and years together, that becomes your normal. Normalcy is a recipe for stability and stability is boring. Suddenly, being close to him again was exciting. I could hold him, hug him and kiss him but I can't. Frustrating but also motivating.

"Please, have a seat, Ellie."

I smiled at the mention of my name.

Step 1. Be a stranger, only for a short time.

He finally remembers my name. I nodded at him and waited at a table for two. There are only a number of customers, no new ones coming in most probably because of the weather. The rain was still audible from the inside but it has become this relaxing melody-like piece, perfect for a relaxing ambiance that was paired with a playlist of classical music. A storm has come but this feels like calm. Just great.

"Coffee." Yohan did not ask if I wanted one. He personally gave the cup of coffee to me. I inhaled the smell of it and I felt like a woman in a coffee commercial smelling its aroma.

"Thank you," I said before taking a sip. "Ouch!" My lips burned and a portion of my tongue. Crap, why do I always forget that coffee is hot. It's smoking, for goodness' sake.

"Careful." He reminded and invited himself to seat with me even when I did not say a word. I wouldn't complain though because right now, I am enjoying his company. I'll let him take this conversation wherever he'd like. "You're just like someone I know."

I observed how he glanced at nothingness for almost a minute, not even meeting my eyes. How his grip on his own cup of coffee tightened. How his breathing quickened. I just know I had to because I know that very moment when he was talking about someone he knows, he was talking about me.

"Do I know this person?" I asked, just initiating small talks.

He immediately shook his head, dismissing any ideas. I was hurt but it was only for a moment. As I've said, I'll let him take this conversation wherever he'd like. Sort of catching up, at least on my part.

"I like it here." I just said when I noticed the silence was no longer comfortable. I looked around as if I haven't seen the place before. "It's cozy."

He nodded, looking proud. I know he is. He has always been proud of Casa Lilia and I was always proud of his achievement too. He may have said before that I was his lucky charm, claiming that the restaurant was a success only because it was named after me but of course, that wasn't true. At least, not entirely.

"This place is like my child." I smiled when he said that, reminded me of the many times he has said it before too.

Casa Lilia is our first child as he would say and when we have our own baby, it's going to be our first-born but Casa Lilia will always be the first child. The place we promised to cherish forever even when we are old and gray and even when it would be gone, I promised to treasure the memories forever.

"Yes, it does look like a child on some angles." I joked and he laughed upon hearing it. My, how I miss his laugh. "But I understand how you feel. Treasuring something you've put faith and efforts into."

"Did you enjoy the food? I wasn't here to cook it personally but I made sure the cook-"

"It was a lovely meal, Yohan." As I have observed, his cooking was different but it doesn't mean the meal was less delicious. It could be me overanalyzing things, associating taste with feelings to who prepared it. "I enjoyed it."

"We're you alone?"

"Ah, yes. I came here alone. Please don't be one of those people who think that eating alone is like a death sentence or something!"

He laughed again and I felt a bit giddy. It's nice to smile and be happy with someone but at the same time, it's just as nice to making someone smile... or maybe even better.

"No, of course not. Sometimes I think it's even better. You have time to gather your own thoughts, think about what happened in a day or even what will happen tomorrow. It's nice. I don't sound like a loner, don't I?"

"You do." I nodded but with a teasing smile. "Of course not. We don't have to be with everybody all the time."

"I agree but there are times when having a company is better."

Today just couldn't get any better. I talked, I smiled, and I even laughed with the man I loved without even trying. I met him on my way home, on a day I did not intend to see him. Everything was unplanned and yet, everything seems to fall into its rightful place.

The rain, after a while stopped during that short night I only wished was a bit longer, for time to spare me a little more. I could wish and pray for more than what was given but I was happy and that's enough.

We talked about more things, just random stuff and I knew him a bit more even when I thought there's nothing else to discover. It's just Ellie, the new Lily, and a new Yohan talking together like two strangers whose paths crossed on a rainy evening.

This is a love story. I always knew it wasn't over yet. This is just a beginning of a new chapter. In another lifetime or even universe, I know we'd be together. I would like to tell him 'Baby, this connection is forever.'