A lot of pressure
1158 Words
Nia's POV
I dropped the groceries on the sink and headed straight to my room. The flickering candle on the coffee table provided a small, comforting glow, but it couldn't dispel the darkness within me. I clutched a stack of job rejection letters tightly in my hands, each one a painful reminder of my ongoing struggle. It's been three weeks since I lost my job, three weeks since that i***t—Leonidas threw me out of his office.
Tears welled up as I replayed the countless interviews that led to dead ends. The constant rejections was taking a toll on my self-esteem, making me question my self worth.
I had put in countless hours perfecting my resume. Yet, all my efforts were in vain. The job market was tight.
The pay was always too low, barely enough to cover my basic expenses, let alone catch up on the mounting mortgage payments. Either that, or the employers would inform me that they didn't have enough resources to hire me at the moment, leaving me feeling stranded and hopeless.
I had already fallen five months behind on my mortgage, and i was getting close to losing my cherished home.
I wiped away my tears and took a deep breath, determined to find a way out of this mess. With determination, I brought out my laptop and turned it on. My eyes widened when I saw a notification for a job opening as an accounts manager at a renowned fashion company. My heart skipped a beat as I read through the job requirements and qualifications. Two years of minimum experience in the fashion industry were listed as a prerequisite, a field I had never ventured into before.
Desperation washed over me, and in that moment, I was willing to take a leap of faith, even if it meant bending the truth. With trembling fingers, I opened my resume document and made some calculated modifications, subtly molding my skills and experience to align with the demands of the job.
Once my resume was transformed, I attached it to the online application and hit the submit button.
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I stood silently before my mother's grave, grief pressing heavily upon my heart. It had been three long and agonizing months since her death, and the void she left behind felt very raw and tender. The graveyard was very quiet, the serene environment broken only by the gentle rustling of leaves.
Clutching a bouquet of vibrant flowers in my trembling hands, I knelt down. Carefully, I placed each flower on the ground, arranging them in solemn tribute.
As memories of my mother flooded my mind, tears welled up in my eyes. I vividly remember her warm hugs, the sound of her laughter, and the advise she always gave me.
My mother had always been my everything, especially after my father's abandoned us when I was just four years old. She had raised me alone but she ensured I didn't lacked love or provision. Although she wanted me to find love and get married, I didn't want that at all. I had built a wall around my heart to protect myself from potential disappointment.
But now, standing before the grave, I couldn't help but question my mother's words and wonder if I had missed out on something meaningful. Memories of Liam, the only person who had stirred true feelings within me, flooded my thoughts. Our connection had felt genuine and promising, until my best friend, Evan told me about his numerous affairs.
Her voice echoed in my head, mingling with the wind's gentle whispers, "When will you find your special someone?"
As I traced my fingers over the engraved letters of her name on the gravestone, a mix of emotions swirled within me. Sadness, longing, and a flicker of curiosity stirred deep within. Perhaps it was time to let go of the protective walls I had built and take a chance on love, honoring her memory by embracing the possibilities life had to offer.
Unexpectedly, my father appeared, his presence casting a shadow over the graveyard. For the past two months, he had come to visit her grave. Anger and pain welled up within me with every step he took to get closer to my side.
He approached cautiously, his voice filled with remorse as he began, "Nia, I know I can never undo the mistakes of the past. I can't even begin to comprehend the pain I've caused you and your mother. However, I'm truly sorry for my absence and the hurt it has brought to both of you."
My eyes narrowed with anger, my voice trembling with a mixture of bitterness and vulnerability. "Sorry? Is that supposed to make everything alright? Where were you when I needed you? Where were you all these years?"
He lowered his gaze, his voice tinged with regret, "I know I can never make up for lost time or the moments I've missed. I wish I could turn back the clock and be the father you deserved. I want to be here for you now, to support you and make amends for the pain I've caused."
My anger boiled over, my words sharp and cutting, "You think a few words can erase the years of longing, the nights I cried myself to sleep, wondering why you weren't there? You think you can stroll back into my life after all this time and expect me to welcome you with open arms?"
He reached out, his eyes pleading for understanding, "I know... I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I want you to know that I deeply regret my absence. Losing your mother has opened my eyes to see my mistakes. I want to be a part of your life, to make amends and build a relationship with you."
Anger surged through me, my voice filled with hurt and resentment, "Would you have ever looked for us if she hadn't died?" I challenged. "You had your chance, Arthur. You had every opportunity to be a father to me, but you chose to walk away. Now, it's too late.” I glared wildly at him. “I don't need you anymore. I've grown up without you, and I've learned to rely on myself and the love of those who were there for me."
His eyes reflected the weight of his regret, his voice barely above a whisper, "I understand that you can't forgive me, Nia. I can't change the past, but I hope one day you can find it in your heart to at least consider letting me be a part of your life."
My eyes glistened with unshed tears, my voice trembling in anger. "Consideration won't change the fact that I've lived 19 years without a father. I've learned to cope and move forward on my own. I don't need you now, and I never will."
With those words, I turned away from him, my heart heavy with unresolved emotions.
- Writer
