SOULMATES

I NEED SOME TIME.

16.

PERCY'S POV.

I couldn't stop pacing up and down the length of my room. When I finally found her, she was lying unconscious by the roadside, her top soiled and her footwear missing.

My mind kept playing different scenarios of what exactly could have happened to her. Did she get rapped?...or robbed? Or drugged?

Shaking my head, I climbed beside her on the bed and took her hands in mine.

"Please wake up....please.." I whispered.On cue, she began to stare.

"Phoebe!....oh God!.....Phoebe...."

She groaned and tried to sit up...I held onto her to help her sit up..

"Ouch....my head..." She mourned.

"What happened?" She asked before turning to me.

Her eyes went wide when she realized where she was. She yanked her hands from mine and bolted from the bed.

"Phoebe..." I began to say...

"Don't!......"

she started looking around for her footwear..

"Where is my slippers?" She demanded.

"Could you just...calm down please? How are you feeling?"

She only glared at me and continued to search..

"I couldn't find them....so I brought you here barefooted.."

I explained.

She stopped and looked at me for a while. Then shrugging, she began to walk to the door.

Thank God it was locked.

"Phoebe talk to me please...I need to know if you are OK. I found you by the roadside unconscious..!"

I try to hold her but she shook me off.

"Open the door..." She demanded.

"OK...I'm sorry....for everything....." I breathed

"Open the door Percy!" She yelled.

"Phoebe come on.....I said I'm sorry....just tell me what happened ..." I said

"What do you care! Just open the door and let me out...now."

Tears began to spring up in her eyes.Signing, I took a step towards her...

"I know what I did was unforgivable and there's no excuse for my actions,but I'm sorry OK....please..."

I was now in front of her and I rapped my arms around her....

"Let me go!....Percy...don't touch me.....let me go!!"

She was crying now. Oh boy...what have I done to this girl...

It surprised me how I'd do anything right now to stop those tears..

"I thought I meant something to you..."That actually caught me off guard.

"Of course you do! You mean everything to me!"

I said sincerely. Not because I wanted her to stop but i really meant it. Finding her like that yesterday really did something to me.....

it turned something in me...it made me realize that I didn't just feel connected to this girl...I loved her....

when she saw me with another girl last night, I died a thousand times.

Usually, I wouldn't give a dime about getting caught. But with Phoebe,it felt like a major crime. It felt like I didn't deserve to live anymore..

"Stop lying to me! You didn't even look remorseful! You went kissing another girl right after a day I confessed to having feelings for you! ...."

Shaking her head,

"why?...I don't understand....I thought you felt the same way....I thought what we shared.....all those times we hanged out, those kisses.... I thought it was real..."

"I'm so sorry Phoebe.....I...didn't mean to lead you on..."

I regretted those words immedietly they left my mouth. I didn't know what to say, but I knew it wasn't the right thing to say...

What the hell did I mean by I didn't mean to lead her on!! That only confirmed her accusation that she didn't mean anything to me!

From the look on her face her heart was broken. Now she was thinking I didn't feel anything for her. I'm such a jerk.

"Were you just playing with my feelings? Is that it?"

Her words pierced my heart like an arrow.

*No I wasn't playing you, I was trying to prove a point to my friends. *

Was that any better? I looked at her sadly. There was nothing better I could say. Anything I said would be a lie.

"Phoebe......I'm really sorry...."

It was the only thing which didn't feel like a deceit.But that just sent her overdrive.

"Open the door for me."

She said with a calmness that surprised me.

"You have to tell me what happened to you first."

Wait was I trying to change the topic? Yes I didn't want to do that right there. Besides what happened to her was more important than my confession of love. Except she didn't think so.Glaring at me, she grabbed the door handle and shook it violently.

"Open the goddamn door for me Percy!. I never want to see your face again! Don't call me! You hear me? Don't you ever text me or I'll break my phone! I hate you....I hate you so much!..."

I knew that calmness was just the calm before the storm .

"Please don't say that....I can't live knowing you hate me. "

I attempted to hold her and she stepped out of reach. She slipped down the door, choking on her tears.

I took a step forward but she put her hand up to tell me to maintain the distance. Reluctantly,I moved back to the bed, facing away from her.

She hates me now and I deserved it. She won't let me hold her and I understood .But I didn't want to let her go. She was not leaving until we sorted out our differences.

What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I just tell her how I felt then everything might return to normal.

It was just too difficult to own up to my own feelings. So instead, I walked to the bed and faced away from her, giving her time to calm down.When I didn't hear her cry Anymore, I turned to find her still sitting against the wall, her eyes on me.

"Hi...." I said with a small smile.

"I want to go home..." She replied.

At least she didn't sound angry or hurt or anything. She sounded tired.

"After we have solved this..." I gestured between us.Shaking her head,

" there's nothing to solve...I got it all wrong from the start....I thought you liked me, turns out you don't,case solved. Can I go home?" She tilted her head to the side.

I watched her face carefully trying to read her expression, to at least know how she was feeling.

Nothing..her face was blank.

"I never said I didn't like you..." I mumbled.

"You never said you liked me either.." She said, playing with her fingers.

"I didn't have to! My actions said it all.."

This was difficult...but it shouldn't be right?.....I mean the one girl I've ever had feelings for was right in front of me waiting for me to admit it. Why then did it feel like my lips weighed a hundred pounds.

"Oh...you mean kissing another girl?" She glared at me.

"That was your fault! You left me hanging! I had no choice." I said

She gasped,faking shock.

"I left you hanging?? Like how many missed calls of yours can i find on my phone from yesterday? Like did you ask me out and I refused?"

I closed my eyes and attempted to take deep breaths. God I hate this. How was I suppose to explain that I was trying to get her out of my head!!That I thought she wouldn't come back because of what Nessa said and my confession.

"You left without even saying goodbye. You didn't bother to check on me all day... After everything Nessa said and my admittance I didn't think you'd come back I thought.....I thought..."

The look on her face told me I sounded ridiculous. I could've tried finding out from her instead of jumping to conclusion.

"This is lame, I know. That's why I said from the beginning that I have no excuse for my actions. I'm sorry Phoebe. I was only with that girl because I was trying to get you out of my head.."

*I just said that out loud!!*

"What's wrong with me being in your head?"

That wasn't what I was expecting her to ask. Thinking of it now, I don't think there's anything wrong with thinking about the girl you love all the time.

"I'm an idiot...I accept.." I told her.

Her face broke into a small smile..

"A big one.." She added.

Chuckling, I nodded.

"I shouldn't have let you leave like that...I should have chased you....and told you how much I missed you....I'm just not good at this....I don't even know what we are...or what my intentions are. Phoebe, I've never felt this way about any girl and this caught me off guard..I didn't even realize I was getting too attached....."

Her face fell but a look of understanding flashed in her eyes. It gave me the courage to say more.

"I'm scared of hurting you Phoebe. But I don't know how not to. I seem to always find a way to mess up the good things in my life. ....."

*It’s now or never....*

"I'm scared of loosing you...most importantly, I'm scared of the kind of power you have over me... You make me weak. You make me wanna be good Phoebe...you're my f*****g weakness!"

I whispered the last part.

We both rise up simultaneously from our sitting places and meet in the middle of the room.Looking down at her, one arm went around her waist and the other cupped her cheek, stroking it gently. I looked down at her lips and swallowed.

Jesus...what is this girl doing to me..

When our lips connected, I saw stars. I felt as if my soul had finally found its missing piece. I felt at home..Breaking the kiss, I stared at her....her beautiful face.....

"What are you doing to me Phoebe?”

But then I remembered my deal with the boys. Maybe I should stay away from her....its the only way to protect her....

"We need to stop this."

"Percy..."

"You need to stay away from me Phoebe...we can't..."

She stepped out of my arms and I suddenly felt empty. Shaking her head, she mumbled

"I knew it....I just knew it"

"Listen to me Phoebe....I didn't lie about having feelings for you....I swear to God its true. I just need time...to sort out things”

The look on her face made me want to take back my words....

"What games are you playing? Why do I have to stay away if you say you like me? What do I have to do with whatever you have to sort out?"

I pressed my lips together refusing to say anything. How do I lie to her? I certainly can't tell her the truth..not yet.

"Just tell me what's going on"

She groaned impatiently.

"I can't.."

I whispered, looking down at my feet.

"You can't or you won't? Alright then just let me out of here.".

She didn't look angry but didn't look happy either.

"Phoebe..."

"Like I said all this is new to me and I’d hate to hurt you. I need to deal with my feelings, make sure I’m ready for this. Please understand me”

She looked at me close to a minute, then she nodded and allowed me to wrap my arms round her. We just stood in the middle of the room, holding onto each other..

~annieamour~