f*******n Games

Notes from the Heart

"Dearest Richard,

As I write this letter, there is a fear in my heart that has been going on for quite awhile. I am very thankful that I met you, but I feel like I am being unfair. Not only to myself, but to you as well. Three years ago, I met someone exactly like you. Smart, fun, adventurous and more than I could wish for and more, but I don’t want to compare. Though today would be incomparable to before, it is still not the same. We are from two different worlds, but our values and perspective are the same. True, I do not regret the choices that I make, but this one I would truly regret making. Saying hello is easy, but goodbye the hardest.

I am so sorry. Dovrei dire addio, l’unica cosa da fare...

With much love,

Alessandra"

A month ago, it would've sounded less painful. But Alessandra knew it was over. She has yet to make the hardest decision of her life. Leaving the life she know would not only hurt her, but would scar her for her life. She met Richard in an art gallery near the Louvre. He wasn't the type of man, she would typically go out with. He was a son of a known statesman, and everybody knew his father. But they share the same values, same perspective in life. Of course, Alessandra knows, it wouldn't work out. And even if it did, would it be the same? So many questions, but left a few answers hanging. He would always talk in prose. Quoting from his own collection.

"I see here on this piece, you are searching. Correct me if I am wrong, but on all of your pieces. I'm just curious, but maybe you didn't search anymore? That maybe the person you have been looking for is right right in front of you?" Alessandra chose her words carefully. Her words may mean a lot of things like a spike on a stump, but to her those words at the moment were meant to ask, not to imply.

"I have been searching, ever since..." Richard left the words hanging.

"Since when? I am sure, by now you have been healed?"

"That would be the ultimate lie, and you know that." Added Richard with a wink. He had been bold to answer her question, but it still left Alessandra hanging. She didn't mean to sound condescending, and she knew that was truth.

"...you know, that regardless of what I say, my answer will be quite to your appeal. I neither know how to go around it, but alas, it is something quite near to the heart."

"But that would sound condescending of me, if ever."

"No it doesn't. Why do you do this to yourself, treating yourself unfairly?" asked Richard, eyeing her from across the table.

"No, I am not treating myself unfairly. I, on the other hand is just being careful."

"Fair enough, suit yourself."

And that was that. End of conversation.

Or was it?