Never Go Back

Chapter 5

I move away as far as I can in my seat, and I stare out the window. I do not want him to enjoy this in the slightest bit. I am so angry. How can he think he can just grab me and throw me in his car, and I will do everything that he says? I look at him from the corner of my eye and I do have to admit he still looks just as good as five years ago. He has not changed. He still has gorgeous dark hair that somehow is styled to look messy but not too messy. He still likes to wear his nice suits that always fit him perfectly to where you can see the muscles, he has hidden beneath the designer brand suits. He barely looks any older.

I suddenly feel self-conscious. I am not the same young girl that I used to be. I work from home as a writer, so I do not dress up like I used to. I wear my hair up in a ponytail almost every day and the clothes I wear are more for comfort than fashion. Today, I am wearing a plain t-shirt and jeans with sneakers on. I am wearing a comfortable jacket. I do not know why he would be interested in me now. I wrap my jacket around myself to try to feel more comfortable, but it is not working. I just keep my gaze out the window for the rest of the ride.

He drives up to a fancy and elegant steakhouse. I have not been to a place like this before and I do not think this was here five years ago. I feel out of place. The inside of the restaurant is just as nice as I thought it would be and more. He could have told me where he was taking me so I could have had a chance at more appropriate attire. I lean towards him and whisper, “You could have told me we were going to go somewhere fancy and maybe I could have put something on nicer.”

He chuckles and says, “You always look good to me and this is my restaurant. I will take whoever I want here. No matter the attire. Now sit down like a good girl.”

“I am not a dog. You cannot command me!” I huff towards him.

He has an amused look on his face and ignores me. He takes his phone out and if I had to guess, was looking at work emails. I was still looking over the menu and they had a lot of things I could not tell what it was. The waitress comes over and in a flirty way tries to get Daniel to look over at her ample chest which she was obviously trying to do. I scoff and look back at the menu. I try to find something that I can tell what it is. But before I can even order food, Daniel orders a steak and orders a salad for me. He also orders some wine. Once the waitress walks off to put our orders in, I look at him angrily and say, “I can order food for myself. Now why would I want a salad. I want real food. That was very rude!”

“I thought girls always wanted salad. Five years ago, that is practically all you ate.” He says.

I roll my eyes. Not every girl wants to eat salad. I for one, like to eat real food. I hated eating salads all the time five years ago. I only did it because I was trying to stay skinny and to have a certain image that would match his. “As I told you, I am not the same girl I once was. I do not care to eat salads everyday of my life to stay skinny. I am not willing to starve. I need real food.” I say.

He does not say anything back and he makes no motion to order something else for me. I guess I will just eat more once I get back to the house. He is back on his phone doing god knows what. I just keep looking around, trying to distract myself. Anything to not look at him. Why would he take me out and not talk to me though? It is very weird. I am getting bored, so I decide to ask some questions. “Why would you take me to dinner and not even try to talk to me. I am so bored. I had better things I could be doing!”

He puts his phone away and directs his attention onto me. He is making me nervous. Nothing ever good comes out of silence. After what seems like forever, he finally says something. “Just enjoy the dinner. We will have our conversation after we have eaten.”

I sigh and decide it is better to eat food first anyways. I am starving. After about ten minutes the food comes out. His steak looks delicious and perfectly cooked. I look at my salad and even though it looks good, I know it will not fill me up. I just pick at my food and decide to eat a real meal at home. I think I might make some beef stew. I push my food around and he looks over at me and groans. “What is wrong with the salad. It is your favorite if I remember right.”

“I want real food. This will not fill me up!” I say.

“I have something else that could fill you up really good. And I guarantee you will enjoy it.” He says in a musky tone.

I almost shiver but I stop myself as I do not want him to know that him saying that is doing something to me. It has been a while. And no, I have not been celibate for the past five years. I have had other partners, but all have been casual as I had not been ready to be in another relationship. I only wanted casual s*x. Daniel is a s*x master. One of the best I have ever had. He knows it too. I try not to react, but I have to squeeze my legs together to try to get some type of relief. I say, “In your dreams. I would never have s*x with you again. Even if you were the last man on earth.”

He finishes eating his meal and sips on his wine. I decide to drink some wine as it may take the edge off. I grab my wine glass and down it all in one go. I pour some more and finish that off too. It is not long before I can feel a relaxing buzz. I do not drink much these days but that was fairly good wine and definitely did the trick. I pour a third glass but sip on it slowly. I sort of regret not eating because now I am really starting to feel the effects of the wine. Daniel makes small talk but there seems no point to this conversation. Once he is satisfied that we have talked a little bit, He decides it is time to go and he gets up to head to the entrance to leave.

I quickly get up and try to keep up with him but now that I am walking, I am having a hard time walking straight and with good balance. I am trying to hurry but I start to lose my balance and I know I am going to fall. I brace myself for the fall but before I hit the ground, Daniel grabs me and twirls me around. He is holding me in his arms and carries me out to his car. He opens the door and sets me in the seat. He goes to get in the driver side and gets in. He starts the car and I can feel the car roar to life. I am drunker than I thought, and I start to feel dizzy. He starts driving. I lean the seat back and try to relax. Before I know it, I have fallen asleep.

I wake up to Daniel opening the door and picks me up and carries me to my mother’s house. I hand him the key to unlock the door. I try to get down, but he opens the door and carries me to my old room. He lays me on the bed. He just stands there looking at me. “Are you just going to stare at me or what?” I say.

“Just thinking how beautiful you are. You look even more beautiful than you did five years ago. You have more curves. I want to take you right her, but I know you are not ready.” He says.

“Like I told you, I will never be with you again. Just leave me alone. I will be gone by the end of this week. Then you will never see me again!” I half yelled.

His eyes turn dark and he gets on top of me and straddles my legs and holds my arms to my side. He is strong so no matter how hard I try I cannot get him to move. He leans in and tries to kiss me. I keep my mouth shut and do not give in to the kiss. I do not want him thinking that I want to kiss him. He bites my lip hard and I gasp. He uses that as a chance to thrust his tongue in my mouth and to take full control. When he decides I have had enough he stops. I am breathing hard. He leans close to me and says, “Remember baby, you are mine. I will have you back. You do not have a choice. You will be my woman again!”

He gets up and leaves. I hear him slam the front door shut. I am not his. I am not just property he can just own. I am my own person. I have a voice. How dare he think this! I just cover myself with my blankets and just lay there. The wine I had starts making me feel sleepy, so I snuggle up and close my eyes. Before I can think another thought, I let darkness take over me.