I DON’T REMEMBER STAGGERING HOME, BUT I MUST’VE STAGGERED home. It’s not a far stagger. Once I get there, I fall through the front door and close it and lean on it as if that could actually fortify me against whatever is coming. I should call my lawyer.
I don’t call my lawyer.
I think about getting in the car and driving far away. But I’m no match for the officious, angry cops in every s**t town across this state. I picture myself flooring the gas, sweating despite the a/c, crying and cursing her name (her real name), only to get stopped by Officer Fuckstick in Buttfuck, South Carolina, population 1,000. How appalling.
I picture myself falling out of the car, babbling on, unable to control myself like a little b***h. What am I supposed to do when they come? What is the appropriate thing
