Chapter 17: Lost Without You
984 Words
The world felt muted.
Lila sat curled on her couch, staring blankly at the wall in front of her. Her apartment was quiet too quiet. It wasn’t just the absence of Dante, though his silence was its own kind of torture. It was the stillness, the emptiness that seemed to press down on her like a weight she couldn’t shake.
For weeks, she had grown used to the strange shadows flickering at the corners of her vision, the faint whispers that made her pulse quicken, the inexplicable feeling of being watched. At the time, it had terrified her. Now, she would have given anything to feel that rush of adrenaline again, that sense of the world being bigger and stranger than she’d ever imagined.
But now, there was nothing.
No flickering lights. No whispers. No shadows. Just the dull hum of her refrigerator and the faint tick of the clock on the wall.
She hated it.
She pulled her knees to her chest, resting her chin on them as she let out a shaky sigh. “I don’t even know who I am anymore,” she whispered to the empty room.
Her voice sounded foreign to her, cracked and small. She tried to remember the last time she’d felt truly alive, and her mind immediately went to Dante. His smirk, his touch, the way he looked at her like she was the only person in the world who mattered.
But it wasn’t just him. It was the world he’d brought with him the fire, the danger, the mystery. He had made her feel like she was part of something bigger, something extraordinary. And now that he was gone, everything felt small and suffocating.
She stood abruptly, pacing the length of her living room. “This is ridiculous,” she muttered to herself. “I shouldn’t be this... stuck. I shouldn’t be waiting for him to come back like some lovesick idiot.”
But even as she said the words, she knew they weren’t true. She was waiting. She had been waiting since the night he walked away from her in the parking lot, his voice cold but his eyes full of something she couldn’t quite name.
He had left her without answers, without closure. And now she was left to pick up the pieces of a life that no longer felt like her own.
She stopped in front of the mirror hanging on the wall, staring at her reflection. Her green eyes, usually so full of light and curiosity, looked dull and tired. Her blonde hair hung limply around her face, and her skin was pale, almost lifeless.
“Who are you?” she asked aloud, her voice trembling.
The reflection didn’t answer.
“I used to know,” she continued, her tone bitter. “I used to know exactly who I was. But then he came along and... everything changed.”
She clenched her fists, her nails digging into her palms. “I let him do this to me. I let him make me feel like I was part of something magical, and then he just... left. Like it didn’t mean anything.”
Her voice broke, and she pressed a hand to her mouth to stifle the sob that threatened to escape.
“I’m so stupid,” she whispered. “So, so stupid.”
She sank to the floor, her back against the wall as tears streamed down her face. “I hate you,” she said softly, though the words rang hollow. “I hate you for making me feel like this. For making me believe in something and then taking it all away.”
Her hands trembled as she wiped at her eyes, but the tears kept coming. “I hate that I still miss you,” she admitted, her voice shaking. “I hate that I still want you, even after everything.”
She let out a bitter laugh, though it quickly turned into another sob. “You’ve ruined me, Dante Morningstar. Do you know that? You’ve completely ruined me.”
She sat there for what felt like hours, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. When the tears finally subsided, she closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall.
“I wish I’d never met you,” she said, though even as the words left her mouth, she knew they weren’t true.
Because for all the pain he’d caused her, for all the heartbreak and confusion, he had made her feel something she’d never felt before. He had made her feel alive.
And now, without him, she didn’t know how to feel anything at all.
The apartment was still, the silence pressing down on her like a weight. She glanced at the clock on the wall it was past midnight. She knew she should go to bed, but the thought of lying there, staring at the ceiling and waiting for sleep that wouldn’t come, was unbearable.
She stood and walked to the window, pushing it open and letting the cool night air wash over her. The city stretched out below her, alive with lights and movement, but it felt distant, like it belonged to someone else.
“Come back,” she whispered into the night, her voice barely audible. “Please, just come back.”
The wind carried her words away, leaving her alone once more.
As she stood there, staring out at the city, she felt a flicker of something ..something deep in her chest, like a thread pulling taut. It was faint, barely there, but it was enough to make her catch her breath.
For the first time in weeks, she felt... something. A connection, a spark.
She didn’t know if it was real or just her imagination playing tricks on her. But in that moment, she didn’t care.
Because even the faintest flicker of hope was better than the emptiness.
- Writer
