The vampire and the wife

Chapter 2

Dorian got the shower head down without either one of us getting wet and washed my hair. Neither of us spoke and I knew I certainly appreciated that the most because I didn't want to talk and I certainly didn't want to listen. I just wanted someone there to tell me things would be ok when I needed to hear those words and I trusted Dorian to tell me those words when I needed them, as I knew he would make everything ok for me when he could.

As Dorian rubbed the shampoo into my hair, I wanted to ask him so badly about Xander, even though I knew it would hurt to find out what he was doing, but I had to know. See you are moving forward with your life; you're accepting what happened and you're beginning to want to heal. Was this part of the healing process, though, or was it me simply wanting to know he was hurting as much as I was?

"What's up?" I hadn't realised Dorian had stopped washing my hair as he threw a towel over my head. I knew if I told him what I was thinking, he'd tell me I was a fool for thinking about Xander when he walked away when I needed him the most.

"Dorian... there's a strange vampire standing outside." The voice I didn't recognise, but I remembered that Dorian had told me that Zack had been outside waiting for him in the car.

"Stay." Dorian warned me as if I were a puppy. Did he honestly think I was going to wait it out inside the house? Dorian left the bathroom and I threw the towel to the side and ran to the landing window to look out into the early evening light to make out the all-too-familiar shape of Xander.

I didn't care what I'd been told; I needed to see him. I needed to talk to him. I ran down the stairs, taking them two at a time and shoved past the new vampire that was standing at the bottom of the stairs. I ran out the door and into the cold evening. Dorian stood a little further down the path.

"I thought I told you to stay inside." Dorian growled at me without even looking around at me. He threw his arm out to the side to stop me from going anywhere near Xander. Xander glanced over at me and then back at Dorian.

"You've done enough damage here; you don't even deserve or have a right to be here. I told you, if you messed with or hurt my best friend, you'd know about it. You've made your choice; now stay away or else." Dorian growled. I'd never seen Dorian so angry or use such a tone with anyone.

"NO!" I shouted as I felt a fleck of rain come down on my face. It must have stopped at some point for a short while, but it was beginning again. "No, you can't go... I need answers."

"No, you don't, Rosa; you need to get inside the house now." Dorian warned. "Don't make me get Zack to come out and pick you up and take you in." I stood in silence as I watched Xander run a hand through his hair for a moment.

"Your right. I have caused enough damage. I'm sorry to have come." Xander turned and vanished. In that moment, any chance of moving on had just gone. I needed answers from Xander. I needed to know what had happened and what I had done so wrong that it gave him a reason to leave when he had. I felt my tears begin to mix with the raindrops again.

"WHY DID YOU SEND HIM AWAY?" I screamed at Dorian in pain.

"To protect you from getting hurt all over again." Dorian answered, turning to me. "You are so wrapped up in your emotions that you aren't thinking Rosa and him being here... What would that have got you? Closure? More, like, more heartache." I looked at Dorian through the tears and the hurt. The part of me that was reasonable knew he was right, but the rest of me just wanted to lash out for sending the one person who had loved me away. "You'll thank me eventually, Rosa, but for now... You just can't see through the anger and the pain." Dorian came over, picked me up with ease and threw me over his shoulder. I began to hit his back with my fists and kick him, but it was pretty pointless; it was like kicking and punching a block of marble. It wasn't hurting him in the slightest; it was hurting me more.

Dorian walked inside and kicked the door shut behind him. I'd given up fighting him, but I was just crying uncontrollably. I hated Dorian, and I hated Xander. I hated everyone. I just wanted this world to swallow me up and leave nothing left of me so everyone would forget me and I'd be allowed to suffer in silence on my own.

"If I put you down, your not going to try and escape to go after him, are you?" I didn't answer him, as I didn't have the strength to. Any energy I'd pulled together for Dorian had just been used up because of Xander. "Zack, lock the door just to make sure. If she doesn't answer, it normally means she's plotting something."

"I don't have the energy to plot or run." I finally mumbled in defeat.

"I know you too well, Rosa Crowe. You say that, but you're like a viper; when you least expect it, you strike, and being an emotional wreck makes you even more unpredictable." Dorian let me down and lifted my head to make me look him in the eyes. "You don't need him now; you need to get better for yourself."

"What do I have, Dorian?" I whispered as I wrapped my arms around myself as if I were physically trying to hold all the broken pieces of myself together. "I have nothing, no more."

"You have me and I'm sure when you get out of this self-pity, you'll grow on Zack too." Dorian kissed my head lightly and pulled me into a tight hug, as if he were trying to push all the broken pieces back together with me. "Besides, you have your favour to pay me back, so do you really think I'd let you wallow in self-pity while I'm living here with Zack?"

"I thought you were staying back at the house with..." My words broke off as I couldn't say his name.

"That was the plan until I found out what the arsehole did to you and then I lost my temper and started a fight with him. I left with Zack and came to the last place I knew you were to find out that I needed to find Izzy. Jen was pretty good at helping me with that, so she brought us here..." Dorian pulled away with a shrug of his shoulder, as if it were common knowledge what had happened.

"You shouldn't have done that... You need to be there..."

"I need to be here with my best friend, who needs someone right now. Besides, he has a whole house full of vampires and humans who will sort him out; who do you have?"

"Thanks." I muttered, feeling even more s**t about myself and the choices I'd made in my life. Just when I thought I'd hit rock bottom, Dorian reminded me that I could get lower.

"You are very welcome. Now princess. Let's get out of this self-pity and feeling s**t about every little thing and let's start to get you back on your throne."

"I don't have a throne."

"No, but you do have a life to live." Dorian grinned. "Now, when was the last time you ate a decent meal that didn't consist of liquid grapes?" I rolled my eyes a little at him, but I really was thankful at the same time for what he was trying to do for me. I was really lucky to have him in my life. "Let's get you food and then you can get a shower and we'll work out a plan to get you back on the straight path."

"Good luck." I muttered and wondered into the living room, which was a mess. I knew I should have tidied it but I just couldn't do it. There were a couple of bottles of wine I'd drank and I'd left the bottles around. I think the one on the table was also a bottle of vodka, there was probably enough for three shots, and the rest I'd drank when I hadn't been able to sleep because of the nightmares. There were tissues all over the place, too.

"Wow, you've really fallen off the waggon with this, Ro. Who got you the alcohol?"

"I did," I muttered. "Izzy came around with my bag one night, as Creed and Snow had found it when..." I broke off, not wanting to go over it. "So when I had a little bit of clarity in my head, I walked to the shops, but that clarity was soon gone when I got to buying what I needed..." I wiped my eyes again on the palm of my head. Stupid men, stupid humans, stupid vampires, stupid any type of male I was done with men; the only men that are allowed in my life are the gay ones, who really do have my best interests at heart. "I mean, how else was I supposed to deal with all of this and how empty I feel?"

"By eating ice cream and watching chick flick movies crying." Zack shrugged a little. "If not ice cream, then chocolate."

"Where the hell did you get that idea?" Dorian asked looking at him. I couldn't help but look at Zack as well with a look of someone help me right now.

"That's what all my female friends did when I was alive." Zack shrugged.

"No offence or anything, but Ro isn't exactly your normal type of female." Dorian grinned. "That's why I like her. You'll soon learn that. Anyway..." Dorian looked at me as I looked at him. "Sulking time is over, princess. Now let's pick up that crown and lets get you through this. Go and get a shower smelly and we'll tidy up and I'll get you a coffee, and then I'll find you something to eat."

"Why are you doing this?" I whispered. "You... You don't have to. You don't have to cause fights with him over me. He did what he did for whatever reason... You can go back to the nest and just avoid him."

"I could but then it goes against everything I am." Dorian argued quietly. "I don't want anything from you. I told you, Rosa... This is all a game and right now I am not seeing the queen being hurt and disrespected like she is. The king can go and play his little game of chess, but without a queen it's not really a game of chess, is it? Besides, he's going to lose this game without his queen; he just hasn't realised it yet. Now... Shower."

I wanted so badly to argue that he would never lose because everything is always stacked in his favour, but I couldn't be so sure. Dorian knew him better than I did and if Dorian said he was going to lose, then he probably would lose. I took a deep breath and walked towards the stairs. My foot was on the first step, so I stopped.

"Dorian... thank you." I didn't wait for his answer as I headed up the stairs to the bathroom and found the shower was still running from when Dorian had washed my hair. I put the shower back in the holder, locked the door, and then stripped and got into the shower.

I spent most of my time in the shower with my head against the cold black and white tiles, as my head seemed to just decend into chaos. I knew I was still hurting from what Xander had done, but I also knew what Dorian had said was right. I had to get on with my life. I had to move on and move past this. Time would heal it all, but with a friend, time would heal me faster than being alone. But what about the next time you see him? Will you be ok? There won't be a next time because I don't plan on seeing him; I plan on keeping my distance from him. He wanted me out of his life; he can have that. But you know that won't happen, and you crave him as much as he craves you. Then I'll have to resist the sweet lure of him and I'll have to make sure I have the willpower to do it.