Detoxify

Chapter 8

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Elliot's Point of View

They say the firstborn carries the legacy. In my case, I'm the only son of one of the most powerful businessmen in the country. I am Elliot Reyes Enrique.

Ever since I was young, I knew I had a role to fill. A shadow to follow. A name to protect. But despite all the expectations and the luxury around me, something was always missing. Maybe it started when I lost my mom. I was only seven. I didn't fully understand it back then, pero ramdam ko agad na may nawala sa mundo ko na hindi na mababalik. Since then, I had to grow up faster. Act tougher. Smile less.

And even now, I still feel like I'm living up to everyone else's dreams... except mine.

People think my life is perfect. I'm rich. I'm smart. I'm a future CEO. But they don't know the war I'm fighting inside. Especially with someone who used to be my brother by bond, my cousin which is Tyron.

We weren't always like this. We were best friends. Closer than real brothers. But everything changed in senior high school. We both fell for the same girl. And guess what? She chose him. Not me. That's when everything fell apart. He left her eventually... just like that. And I tried to forget her by forcing myself to move on.

It started simple lang naman. Third quarter ng senior high. I remember that day vividly. As in, parang slow-mo pa nga lahat.

We were at this school assembly sa gym. Typical boring event, hanggang sa dumating siya. Wearing that crisp white blouse tucked into her fitted navy skirt. Hair in a low ponytail, minimal makeup, pero grabe 'yung dating. She walked in like she didn't know she was the center of the universe. Pero believe me, she was.

Andun kami ni Tyron sa upper bleachers, chill lang dapat. Pero parehas kaming napatigil. I glanced at him, and he was already staring too.

"Tangina, bro. She's pretty." Bulong niya sa akin, and I just nodded.

Pretty was an understatement. She looked like she belonged to another world.

After that assembly, I just kept seeing her around. Sa library habang nagre-review, sa cafeteria habang nakapila, or even sa hallway habang busy maglakad with her iPad in one hand and airpods in the other. She stood out. Not loud, but effortless. May presence talaga.

One time, I overheard her during a student council planning session and apparently, she was recruited as part of the inter-department committee for academic orgs. Ayun, dun na kami nagka-interaction.

We were paired sa isang collab event, my program and hers. And that was the start. We weren't classmates, pero we had to work together for weeks. And honestly? She was impressive. Polite, sharp, and always had something smart to say.

At first, I thought she'd be intimidating. But no, she actually listened. And laughed at my corny jokes. I started looking forward to our planning sessions kahit gabi na. I'd reread her messages, replay the sound of her laugh in my head like some sad romcom lead. Gano'n ako ka-hooked. Gano'n siya ka-different. You know, all that cheesy stuff I never thought I'd catch myself doing.

One afternoon, habang nagpa-print kami ng paper sa comp lab, she looked up at me and said, "You're not what people say you are, Elliot. You're... kind." I smiled like a fool. Damn. That was it. That was the moment.

I thought maybe, just maybe... I stood a chance.

But I was wrong.

Nalaman ko na lang one day sa hallway... I saw her and Tyron walking side by side. Then he held her hand. Just like that. As if hindi niya alam how I felt. As if hindi niya alam na I liked her first. And worse? She didn't even look back at me. Not once. That moment? It shattered me.

I stopped talking to him the week after. Lahat ng sama ng loob, tinikom ko. And alam mo 'yung masakit? Hindi niya man lang ako kinausap about it. He just went on with his life... with her.

He had her. He won.

And me?

I learned how to pretend. How to smile when it hurts. How to lead like I wasn't crumbling. I buried everything beneath achievements, pressure, and pride. Kaya ngayon, kahit sabihin pa ng iba na perfect life ko, they don't know the truth.

Tyron wasn't just my cousin.

He was my best friend.

And he broke my heart, without even knowing it.

That's when Yuki came into the picture. She was my escape. She was sweet, calm, and everything I thought I needed. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't love her the way she deserved. Kasi hindi naman siya 'yung nasa puso ko.

No one really knew the real reason why I distanced myself. Why I became colder. Why I never stayed in one place too long. But now... things are changing again.

And maybe this time, it's my turn to choose.

Nang makita ko ang dugo sa kamay niya, bigla na lang nawala ang inis na nararamdaman ko. Napalitan ito ng galit... sa sarili ko. Ang kulit kasi ni Yuki, eh. Sinabi ko na ngang wala na kaming dapat pag-usapan pa, pero ayaw pa rin niyang tumigil.

At dagdag pa rito, itong si Tyron na ume-epal!

I thought si Edward lang 'yung kailangan kong i-monitor pero apparently pati pala si Tyron, kailangan ko na rin i-keep an eye on. I swear, I'm getting lowkey pissed watching him assist Avery paakyat. Dude, chill... hindi mo siya girlfriend, okay?

He was holding her arm so gently pa. As in may pa-slow mo pa siya, parang knight in shining freakin' armor. Parang... okay ka lang?

But wait... why the hell am I even annoyed?

Shouldn't I be thankful na someone's looking out for her? I mean, hindi naman siya nag-iisa or like struggling. And yet here I am, watching like a creep, clenched jaw and all, thinking "Bro, back off."

Ugh. This is so not me.

Bakit parang gusto ko sabihin, "Give me that spot. Ako na."

Oh, my God.

Am I freaking jealous? Argh! I'm going crazy!

And the worst part? I know this feeling. Na-feel ko na 'to before...

And it's with the same damn guy.

Si Tyron na naman.

Dati pa, palaging siya 'yung nauuna. Lagi siyang pinipili. At ngayon, eto na naman?

Hindi ba pwedeng for once, ako naman? Ako 'yung makita. Ako 'yung piliin.

Tangina. I hate this feeling.

Pero mas lalo kong hate 'yung fact na it's not just a jealousy anymore... It's fear. Kasi, I know what I'm about to lose and I don't think I can take it a second time.

Napalingon ako kay Yuki nang marinig ko 'yung pag-iyak niya sa likod ko. Her shoulders were shaking, eyes red and puffy, mascara smudged like a full-on drama scene, I swear.

"Siya ba?" she asked, voice trembling. "Siya ba 'yung sinasabi mo?"

I didn't say anything. Dead air. I just looked at her, expressionless. Kasi what's the point of denying it?

"B-Bakit siya?" she sobbed harder. "He's gay, Elliot. B-Bakit hindi na lang ako?"

Doon ako napatingin sa kanya with this sharp look. As in, my whole mood shifted. That was out of line. I don't care how heartbroken you are but don't disrespect Avery like that. Avery did nothing wrong. Wala siyang sinabi. Wala siyang ginawa. And yet this girl thought she had the right to invalidate her just because she didn't get picked?

Only I get to tease Avery. Me. No one else. Especially not someone who can't even respect her identity.

So, I said, calmly pero threatening af, "If siya nga 'yon, wala kang pake. Now, get out. Don't wait for me to call someone to drag you out."

She was still crying while walking away, but honestly? I felt nothing. Walang guilt. Walang remorse. I just don't see her like that. We're friends and that's it. That's all it'll ever be.

The moment she stepped out, I bolted to our room, our shared dorm. My only thought is I need to check on Avery right now. I know her, ayaw na ayaw niyang nasusugatan na kahit simpleng sugat lang, she panics. But when I opened the door...

It's empty.

She's not here.

"Tsk!" Napakamot ako sa batok, frustrated. "That Tyron again!"

Laging nauuna. Lagi akong nauunahan.

And putangina, I freaking hate that.

The moment I stepped out of our room, sakto ay lumabas din 'tong si Tyron from their room across the hall. My jaw clenched nang makita ko 'yung bahagyang pagsiwang ng pinto sa likod niya. And there she was.

Avery.

Nakaupo sa kama. Tahimik. Hindi umiimik. Nakatingin lang sa sahig na parang wala sa sarili. May benda 'yung daliri niya. My chest tightened the moment I saw that.

Shit.

Gusto ko na agad pumasok. Wala na kong pake. Gusto ko siyang i-check. Gusto ko siyang kausapin, to say sorry properly. the kind that matters.

But then...

Tyron stepped in front of me.

Ginamitan pa ako ng blocker move, parang basketball lang. He put his damn hand against my chest.

"Lubayan mo muna si Avery," malamig niyang sabi.

Putangina. Sino ka?

I shot him a glare. As in, that kind of look na 'pag tumagal pa ay baka hindi lang tingin ang ibato ko.

"And what makes you think I'll listen to you?" I spat. "Sino ka ba, huh? Her handler?"

He didn't even flinch. "Kahit ngayon lang, Elliot. Please. Nasaktan siya... sobra."

His voice cracked just a bit. That subtle tone na parang siya 'yung tinamaan. Na parang may alam siya na ako, wala pa. At hindi ko alam kung dahil ba concerned siya or may gusto lang siyang ipamukha.

Napatawa ako. Sarkastiko. Mapait. Walang humor. "Wow. Look at you playing protector."

Tsk. Pero to be honest, medyo tinamaan ako sa sinabi niya. I felt guilty. Pero pride ko? Ayaw magpakita.

"Shut up. Titignan ko lang siya. I'm not asking for your permission, bro. And don't f*cking tell me what to do." Tinapik ko palayo 'yung kamay niya na nakahawak sa balikat ko.

Akma ko nang bubuksan 'yung pinto when—

Bigla niya akong hinila. Strong grip. Sa pulso pa mismo.

"Ano ba, gago ka?!"

I pulled my arm back with force, ready to swing if needed. My heart was pounding not just with anger but with all this f*cking tension building up since the day Avery walked into that room.

This isn't just about concern anymore.

This is war. And Tyron just made it personal.

Tumayo ako from where I was sitting, literally ready to throw a punch at this guy like full force na talaga, as in wala na akong pake kahit kahit mapatawag pa kami sa admin, pero suddenly, the door opened and boom... Na-estatwa ako sa spot ko when I saw Avery standing there with that kind of smile na sobrang simple but, if you really look at her eyes, you'd know right away na may kirot, may sugat, may unresolved pain na somehow I know, baka ako ang reason.

"Stop it," she said, calmly pero firm, and just like that I loosened my grip on Tyron and tried to calm myself kahit deep inside parang binubugbog pa rin ako ng emotions ko.

"Sorry," I managed to say, straight up, no pride, no walls.

"'Yan dapat, good vibes lang," Avery replied and she even gave me a smile pero alam mo 'yung smile na sinadya para hindi magmukhang nasasaktan? Yeah, that kind. It was soft, polite, pero parang salamin na nabasag na pinilit lang buuin ulit for the sake of peace. I know that pain. And it hit me hard.

I wanted to say more, like check on her, talk to her privately, maybe make her laugh kahit fake pa, just to see if she's really okay. But before I could speak, itong si Tyron biglang nag-step in like he owned the moment or something.

"Matulog ka na, Avery. Mag-uusap lang kami ni Elliot," he said, and seriously? Kumulo talaga ng sobra 'yung dugo ko. Like who gave him the right? Is he forgetting everything?

"No! Tara na, Avery. Tulog na tayo," I cut in right away, offered my hand sa kanya as calmly as possible kahit inside, my whole soul was shaking na from rage and anxiety.

But she didn't take it.

And that's when I felt it. The kind of pain na hindi physical pero parang may humila sa puso ko pababa. Like I had to stop myself from reacting kasi ang bigat. I followed her gaze and she was looking at him. Not at me.

"Pasensya na, Elliot. Dito muna ako kay Tyron. Magbo-bonding kami," she said, and get this, she even smiled while saying it like that would make it less painful. Pero no, it made it worse.

Masakit, dude. Like sobra. It wasn't even about pride. It was more of, bakit siya? Bakit siya na naman?

"Ah, ganun ba? Sige, bukas na lang ulit," I said with a smile na pinilit kong buuin kahit feeling ko, any second now, maluluha ako. Sana mapansin niya 'yon. Sana makita niya 'yung effort ko to keep it together.

And then she added, "May lakad din kasi kami bukas."

That line? That hit harder than any punch Tyron could ever throw. Put*ng ina talaga. I couldn't take it anymore.

So I just turned my back para hindi nila makita kung gaano ko ka-kinain 'yung sakit. Ayoko na. I just needed to get out before I break down in front of them.

Avery's Point of View

"Tara na, nood na tayo!" I excitedly said kay Tyron habang pa-casual lang na tinatago 'yung bagyo sa loob ko. I've been trying so hard to pretend I'm okay. Smiling, laughing, playing along pero grabe, ang bigat. Hindi ko ma-explain. It's like something's pressing on my chest... but whatever, the show must go on.

"Wait lang, kukunin ko lang 'yung mga pagkain natin," sagot niya sabay lakad palabas, tapos biglang tumakbo pababa ng stairs. Ang OA, pero sige, effort noted.

I sat quietly on the bed. This bed. Tyron's bed. Dito ako matutulog tonight. At siya? Doon sa floor, naglatag na kanina pa ng blanket at pillow. Gentleman moves, sure, pero 'di ba mas okay kung sa puso niya ako pinatulog? Char.

I took a deep breath and looked around. The room was dimly lit, may lamp sa corner giving off that soft warm light. On the desk, andun pa 'yung laptop ni Edward na naka-sleep mode na, which is basically him din, kasi nagpaalam siyang maaga raw siya bukas and marami siyang aasikasuhin. Pero deep inside, I had that weird gut feel... Was he really asleep? Or did he just not want to join?

Anyway, I shook the thought off. Baka iniisip ko lang. Baka ako lang 'to.

A few minutes later, bumalik na si Tyron. And guess what? He was carrying a whole box of pepperoni pizza, a tub of strawberry cheesecake ice cream, two tumblers of iced tea, and... wow, may potato wedges pa talaga sa isang tray.

"Uy, effort! Complete package!" sabi ko while trying to keep my tone playful.

He sat beside me and handed over the food. "Para 'to sa bonding natin, 'di ba? Sabi mo foodtrip tayo."

We opened the pizza box and sinimulan na naming lumantak habang naghahanap siya ng movie sa Netflix. At kung sino pa ang laging late sa ganito, siya pa ang may specific na request.

"Ha? Dapat romcom! Ayoko ng thriller. Gabi na!" reklamo ko.

"Akala ko ba gusto mo ng iyakan?" pang-aasar niya.

"Yes, iyakan... not takutan!" sabay turo ako sa screen, "Yan! To All the Boys I've Loved Before. Go na, click mo na 'yan!"

Sakto naman, pumasok si Tyler. May hawak pang popcorn, parang extra lang sa sinehan.

"May Netflix party pala rito? 'Di ba ako invited?" sarkastikong tanong niya habang naka-jogging pants lang, mukha talagang ready for the night.

"May space pa sa sahig," sabi ni Tyron habang nagtatawanan kami.

So ayun, nagsimula na ang mini-movie night. Tyler was being Tyler — kung anong eksena sa pelikula, may pa-commentary siya. "Red flag 'yan!" o kaya "Tss, ghoster!" Napapa-facepalm na lang kami ni Tyron pero natawa pa rin kami nang natawa. Kahit papaano, gumaan 'yung vibe.

Halfway through the movie, medyo tahimik na. Tyler was already lying down, humihikab-hikab pa. Si Tyron naman, tahimik lang habang steady ang tingin sa screen. Ako? I was pretending to focus on the movie, pero my mind was drifting somewhere else.

Why do I feel like this? Bakit parang ang lungkot pa rin kahit technically masaya naman ang gabi? Was it guilt? Was it longing? Was it Edward? Was it Elliot?

I stared at the melting ice cream sa bowl ko. Same, beh. Same.

After the movie, which is about 1 hour and 39 minutes, Tyler declared: "Okay, I'm off to dreamland. Bawal akong magka-eyebags." Tapos sabay higa sa kama niya, nagkumot at wala pang five minutes, tahimik na. Ang bilis naman, parang walang unresolved issue sa life.

I looked at Tyron who was folding the pizza box and cleaning up quietly.

"Thanks, ha. Ang saya," I said, soft tone lang. Totoo naman, masaya siya. Pero alam mo 'yung may kulang?

"Anytime. Dito ka na matulog, ha?"

"Oo naman. Nai-setup mo na nga 'yung ilalim ng kama mo e," I joked.

"Alam mo naman, gusto ko comfortable ka," sagot niya, then he smiled softly.

I smiled back. But deep down? Parang may humihila pa rin sa dibdib ko. This night is sweet but heavy. Parang hindi ako buo. Parang may naiiwang tanong na hindi ko pa kayang harapin.

We both settled. Me sa kama, hugging a pillow, him sa baba on the makeshift bed, facing the ceiling.

Silence. Walang music, walang background noise. Just us and our own thoughts.

At sa katahimikan na 'yon, napapikit ako. At doon ko na-realize na minsan, kahit surrounded ka of the people who care, you can still feel alone.

And that night? I didn't know why, but my heart felt heavier than ever.

Kinabukasan, maaga akong nagising. Pumunta ako sa kwarto namin ni Elliot para kumuha ng damit. Nakita ko siyang natutulog.

Napahinto ako sa harap niya.

Bakit ang gwapo mo kapag tulog ka? Sana lagi ka na lang tulog para wala nang beast mode!

Nagising siya at bigla akong hinila sa tabi niya.

"Please, kahit isang minuto lang," sabi niya.

Kinabukasan, super aga 'kong nagising. Like, literally hindi ko pa naririnig 'yung alarm ko pero eyes wide open na agad ako. Ewan, siguro dahil sa weird na pakiramdam kagabi. Kaya ayun, I decided na bumalik muna sa room namin ni Elliot to grab some clothes. As in tiptoe pa ako habang papasok, hoping na tulog pa siya.

And yes... there he was.

Natutulog pa si mokong. Shirtless. Nakaharap sa bintana, and medyo half-hugging his pillow. Napahinto ako sa tapat ng kama niya and just... stared.

"Grabe... bakit parang mas gwapo ka kapag tulog?" I whispered to myself. Sana tulog ka na lang lagi para hindi ka beast mode palagi. Cute ng lashes niya, ang kapal. And his jawline? Sharp pa rin kahit naka-relax 'yung face niya. Ugh, I hate him, but I appreciate him... but I still hate him! Confusing!

Bigla siyang gumalaw.

And before I could turn around to leave, hinila niya ako. As in hinila niya talaga ako papunta sa kama niya!

"Wait—hey! Elliot!" sigaw ko, struggling to pull away.

"Please, Avery. Kahit one minute lang," he said, groggy pa, eyes half-open, ang voice ay namamaos pa. Aba, may pa-drama?!

"One minute ng ano?! Bakit ka ba nanghihila ng tao sa umaga, ha?! Parang kang sira! What if makita tayo ng ibang tao rito?!" I whispered-shouted habang nagpupumiglas. Literal na I used my elbows, my knees, kahit hair flip para lang makatakas. "And hello?! What if magalit 'yung girl mo kagabi?! Baka akalain niya pinapalitan mo na siya or something!"

And just like that, bigla siyang napangisi.

"Grabe ka, Avery... nagseselos ka ba?" He teasingly asked.

"H-huh?! Excuse me?!" Napaatras ako. This man is delusional. Pero shucks, bakit ba ang init ng tenga ko bigla? Is this guilt? Or blush? Ugh! I hate this!

Honestly, hindi ko nga alam kung paano ako nakarating sa school. As in literal blank, clouded ang utak ko habang naglalakad papasok. My feet were moving but my brain? Stuck pa rin sa bedroom scene with Elliot kanina. Kailangan ko ng exorcism!

I passed the gates like a zombie. I was still overthinking when—BOOM.

May crowd sa bulletin board.

And then, OMG, wait lang.

That's... me.

Literal ako 'yong nasa picture! It's a candid picture of me and I can't deny the fact na super ganda ko ro'n! Nandun sa gitna ng bulletin board na parang wanted person pero prettier. Ano 'to? Ano 'toooo?!

I pushed my way through the students, heart racing. Nakita ko nang mas malapitan.

"I like you, Avery." — nakasulat sa ilalim ng litrato ko.

What the actual fudge?!

"Sino ang gumawa nito?!" Sigaw ko sa isip ko habang naka-freeze sa kinatatayuan ko. Lahat ng estudyante dumadaan dito bago pumasok ng university, okay?! As in buong school makakabasa nito?! Hindi ko alam kung matutunaw ako sa kilig or sa hiya or sa galit. Or baka all of the above?

I looked around.

Walang suspect. Walang clue.

Pero one thing's for sure...

This school year just got wild.