Human to Luna

Instincts

Saida 

My attitude towards life hadn't improved much, but I was trying. I was going out with Mickey more, much to her delight. Apparently finding girlfriends do go bar hopping were slim pickings in Montana. I was learning her style of having fun was probably just what I needed to get out of my slump in life. We had even tag teamed two unsuspecting men at a bar not long ago, but we shortly lost interest claiming GI upset to get us out of the bland conversation of appropriate horse feeder and where to buy it. Snooze, and thankfully Mickey agreed with me. Watching their faces contort was worth the 20 minutes of my life I lost to that conversation.

I was branching out at work, attempting non work conversations. I had grown a reputation as a bit of an ice queen, and knowing this was the furthest thing from myself I broke out to change the narrative. I learned that talking about my mother was in a way a healing process, and my coworkers were plenty forgiving and had even opened up about their own losses. It helped knowing that the way I was handling my grief was normal, and that with time, while the pain would never leave fully I would learn to grow around it and accept my pain. 

The one thing that had not improved what so ever was my apartment. I've given up, it's time to accept my short coming; an interior designers I am not. 

I also hadn't lost the eerie sensation of being watching. I was feeling it more and more frequently to the point where I was beginning to accept rides home, even though I enjoyed my walks. I felt it everywhere I went, I had even felt it at the bar with Mickey. I was becoming more alarmed as I had never felt this way in California and my mother had always taught me to follow my instincts. Due to this I had added extra security levels to my apartment, but nothing seemed to help. Whoever or whatever was out there was becoming more and more apparent and I was starting to feel helpless to the sensation. I had also progressively gotten angrier, whatever was going on was creating an environment where I felt powerless and I didn't even know what I was up against! Talk about a skewed fight. 

I had reached a point of rage as I reached my 6 month mark in Montana. I wanted to be confronted or maybe do the confronting, but something told me whoever this was was wicked good at hide and seek. Well marco pollo b***h I am done. I always felt the most uneasy when I walked home so after getting off work early one Sunday afternoon I decided a walk was just what the veterinarian ordered. 

I talk a big game but as I stepped out the protective walls of my job my hands began to shake slightly as the anxiety began to fill my body. I refused to accept my natural response whatever is going on needs to stop, I didn't want to keep living like this. 

I began my walk, naturally overthinking and analyzing every sound and movement. I didn't have the creepy feelings I had been, and just as I was about to blow off my mission it hit me full force. Except this time I felt something, this time I could sense the energy standing behind me. This time I could feel the hot breath down my neck. I'm an i***t.