Trapped

CHAPTER FOUR: DREAM TO A NIGHTMARE

                                                                              Mariah Lomax

"Up here next... We got somebody special. Somebody who knows how to make her money. Make sure yall pockets full! But give it up Lotus!" I laughed and smiled after the DJ announced my name to come on the stage. I walked from behind the curtains. Lights flashed on me. My body. I had a Givenchy two-piece with spaghetti straps on the side.  

My skin was shining as I walked seductively to the pole. I swayed my hips side to side. I grabbed the pole and walked in a circle. I stopped walking and moved my hips in a circle. I jumped on the pole lightly. I slid down and did a split. The crowd went wild after I did that. I loved the cheers. The cheers of me dancing not because I was half-naked. 

I climbed up the pole again and did a 360 spin. I closed my eyes as I spun. It felt good. It felt like I was the only one in the mirror. Dancing. 

The music was blasting throughout the club. I was hitting every beat. I opened my eyes, and I saw money falling in the air. I looked down and saw a pile full of dollars. Was this the life? Was this really the dream? The lifestyle that I live in? 

A lifestyle where everybody loves me, and I make the money for it. 

"MARIAH!" I looked up as I heard my name called. I gasped, it was Jamie. "So this is where you go?! YOU LEFT ME TO GO SHAKE YO' ASS?"  Jamie yelled, making me fall off the pole. 

Out of nowhere, he storms through the crowd and gets on the stage. I crawled backwards fast, I didn't have any weapon to strike him with. I had no choice but too. He was walking to me slowly while I was crawling backwards fast. Now, it was a chance to run. I got up from my feet and tried to run but he grabbed me by my hair. 

He had a grip, and slung me back into him. "You thought I wasn't going to find you HUH?!" His made it's way to my neck. "No-"

"You're NEVER LEAVING ME!" I felt his nails dig into my neck. I couldn't breathe. I started gasping for air, as I started to see darkness. 

I woke up screaming and fighting in my bed. "Shut the hell up! s**t!" I heard one of the girls say. I'm glad it's dark so nobody won't see who it is. The only ones who'd know are the witch, Autumn, and her bunkmate. I sat up in my bed. I put the back of my hand on my forehead to check my temperature. I did feel the sweat. I snuck out of my bed and walked to the bathroom. 

I looked at myself in the mirror. I lifted my shirt up. My bruises finally healed. I thought they'd never go. I sighed. I felt a little better now that my bruises were gone. I pulled my shirt down, then I turned on the water on the sink. I cupped my hands together, scooped some of the water up, and splashed it on my face. 

I took a big deep breath. "I'm alive." I whispered to myself. I dried my face and my hands off. I walked back inside the room. I climbed back into my bed. I looked out the window. It was raining. I couldn't fall back to sleep. I wanted something to do instead of sitting here waiting on an opportunity. 

But what it's looking like I have too. I have to wait. 

I purposely stayed up all morning until we can go outside again. I got up before everybody and took a shower. I got dressed in my plain white t-shirt and some high waisted jeans. I took my scrunchie off my wrist and pulled my hair into a ponytail. I was just going to go for a walk around the city. By myself and explore. 

I walked back inside the room once I finished in the bathroom. I made up my bed and had my stuff set up neatly. I ran my hands over the blanket, making sure there weren't any wrinkles. I looked over at Autumn, checking up on her. She was sleeping like a baby. I laughed a little at how she was sleeping. She had her thumb inside her mouth, and she was curled up in a ball. 

I walked away from the bunks and left out of the room. I waved at Amanda as I leaving out. She called my name, I stopped walking. "Where are you going? You're not going to eat?" She asked. "Oh I was just going to go for a walk, and get some fresh air." I say. 

"Okay. Make sure you're back before curfew. You be safe out there!" Amanda said. "Yeah okay." I say, before I walked away. I hope she's not trying to act like my mom now. It's like ever since I told her about my situation, she's been more "concerned" of me lately. I be wanting to tell her like I already have a mom. I don't need another. At all. My first mother left me. What do I look like having a temporary second one?

I sighed as I walked out of the building. I felt the wind blew on me. I took a deep breath out of the fresh air. It felt good going outside. The sun was beaming on my skin as I walked around the block. 

It was nice to take a walk. Smelling the fresh air and embracing a whole new city. Well embracing a new city moment. The whole 3 weeks I've been here, I never actually took a tour around the city. 

I saw a park up ahead. Not the park when I first got here. Why not enjoy the park? I walked all the way to the park. I sat down on the bench as I watched little kids play. I saw mothers holding babies, holding their hands with their toddlers, and older kids. I felt tears swell up in my eyes. 

I looked away from the kids and wiped my tears. 

That was supposed to be me. I wanted kids. But my child was selfishly taken from me to the point where I can't have any kids. I wasn't pregnant long enough to know the gender. Jamie beat me while I was pregnant and stressed me out badly. One morning I woke up with sharp cramps in my lower abdomen. I got up and went to go use the bathroom. I wiped myself, and noticed a bunch of blood. 

Blood on the floor too. And I was only 3 months pregnant. Jamie helped me and took me to the hospital. He stayed with me until it was time for me to be discharged. He cried with me the same day. Normally he doesn't show any emotion or sign that he cares. He cared this time because he knew he f****d up.

But maybe it was a sign. We weren't ready as parents. Lord knows what could've happened, bringing a baby into a toxic abusive relationship. I'd end up killing Jamie if he ever harms my baby. I should've valued having a baby. My first baby. Hopefully, God would give me a second chance with kids... 

I watched the kids play for about 10 more minutes until I left to go walk again. I wish I had a car. Or else I wouldn't be walking right now. 

As I walked, I noticed a group of people outside on the porch. Most likely it's niggas. I shook my head and kept walking forward. "Aye where yo' fine ass going?" One of the dudes stood up as he watched me. None of the other guys was paying attention to me except him. 

"To Nunya's house." I said as I speed walked passed that house. "Aye I can take you there. You want a ride?" He offered.  "Nah I'm good." I continued walking.

"Man you a Hollywood type of bitch." I stopped walking. "Yeah I said it. f**k you gonna' do about it?" I closed my eyes and counted to three. I turned around slowly, "Don't call me out of my f*****g name just because I don't wanna' ride in yo' piece of s**t ass car that you got sitting outside yo' mama house the f**k!" I say in one sentence. His homies laughed at him. I could care less. I carried on walking leaving his dumb ass speechless. 

The nerve of him disrespecting me like that. He doesn't know me at all. I can expect it here. It's some rude people in this big ole' city. 

I still like it though. It's huge and many opportunities and activities. I really want to see the Statue of Liberty. Up close not afar or an online picture of it. Up close. 

I felt myself getting tired. I waited until I got on another block, and walked myself back to the Rescue Mission. Luckily I could remember where I went. I didn't go far at all. Just maybe a few little turns, that's it.

I wasn't ready to go back inside. I sat down on the concrete to catch my breath. I fanned myself as I panted. It was so hot. It got hot out of nowhere. At first, it was warm now it's a sauna. Eventually, I couldn't take it any longer I walked back inside. 

I walked into the room, I noticed none of the girls weren't in the room. I sighed out of relief. They probably were in the shower. I climbed on to my bed and laid down facing the ceiling. I could hear the AC running throughout the room. The cold air just felt like Heaven to me. 

I wish I could just take all of my clothes off and let the air blow on me until I have gotten cold.

I have to get my own place soon. 

I heard voices, which means the girls were coming right back. I rolled my eyes their loud asses always disturbing the peace. "Mariah!" You already know that voice. Couldn't be anybody but Autumn. I sat up in my bed. I watched how she made her way towards her bunk. 

"Look McDonald's call back for me! I got an interview on Wednesday at 1:00 PM." Autumn said. My eyebrows rose. "Damn Autumn that's good. See I knew you were going to hear back from them. Congratulations. I'm proud of you." I say with confidence. I just didn't know they were going to respond back so fast. That means I should be hearing back from the companies I applied for if anything. 

"Girl I can't wait to work there." Autumn smiled. "Ima' save up my checks for a place. I want a one-bedroom apartment. You can come with me too Mariah." Autumn offered. I gave her a small smile. "Thanks Autumn. But think about yourself first. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine." I assured. 

"Girl hush. You're coming to live with me whether you like it or not." Autumn said. I blinked my eyes, noticing the force in her voice. "We'll see Autumn." I told her. 

"Can I get up here with you? We got so much to talk about." She said as she climbed up in my bed. She invited herself up on my bed. I blinked my eyes as she sat crisscrossed on my bed. She just makes herself comfortable. 

"They was talking s**t about you." Autumn whispered in my ear. "Who?" I inquired. "You know who." She mumbled, as she pointed down my bunk. I rolled my eyes. 

"I could care less what she got to say." I said loud enough for anybody to hear. I don't give a f**k about that b***h. Or her clique of friends. I don't fear any of those hoes. They don't put not one fear in me. 

"Nah... Not just that. You just need to watch over yourself. Seriously." Autumn said, which made me feel skeptical. I just nodded my head taking everything in. It's just weird now all of a sudden I have to watch after myself when they were just f*****g with Autumn heavy yesterday. I don't care. I'm still going to walk untouched and unbothered. 

They can to get me put out if they want too. But I'll go out with a bang.