Twisted Decisions

Chapter5-THE WEIGHT SHE CARRIED

Trianna hated goodbyes.

Especially the kind where you had to act like the moment didn’t matter — like a piece of you wasn’t walking away with the stranger who saw you more clearly than people who'd known you for years.

She hadn’t expected to meet Luise on that ship. She definitely hadn’t planned to feel anything. But the way he looked at her — as if she wasn't invisible — cracked something open inside her. Something she'd learned to keep buried.

And then he was gone.

Just another beautiful chapter in a book she didn’t have the luxury to keep reading.

Reality was loud. It was her mother’s deepening cough, the sound of overdue bills stacking like threats in the mailbox, and her little brother Jaden asking, “Do we have enough for milk today?”

She worked the café from dawn till late, sketched during her breaks, and rushed home every night with a bag of groceries she could barely afford. The medications for her mother weren’t cheap. Neither were her siblings' school needs. She stretched every dollar until it screamed.

Some nights, she cried quietly into her pillow — never loudly enough for anyone to hear.

There was no time for dreaming. No space for romance. Not when her world could fall apart with one missed shift.

When she looked up in that Georgetown café and noticed Luises’ presence, her chest squeezed.

Part of her wanted to run. The other part wanted to collapse into his arms and ask him to take her somewhere — anywhere — far from everything.

But she smiled.

Because that’s what survivors do. They smile even when they’re unraveling.

And when he asked if she’d be around tomorrow, she lied — said yes, even though she wasn’t sure. Her mom had gotten worse that week. The medication wasn’t working like it used to. There were whispers about hospital visits they couldn’t afford.

That night, back at the tiny two-bedroom apartment they called home, Trianna reheated soup and sat by her mother’s bedside. The woman looked small — so much smaller than she used to. Once strong, always moving, always laughing. Now, she barely had the strength to sit up.

“Jaden said you didn’t eat today,” her mom whispered.

“I’m fine,” Trianna replied, tucking the surrounding blanket. “You’re the one who needs to eat.”

Her mom tried to smile. “He likes you drawing again." You’ve been lighter.”

Trianna’s hand paused. “It’s just sketching." Nothing serious.”

But it was serious. The drawings had returned because he had returned — because something inside her woke her up the moment she thought about him.

He made her feel seen. Like she could be more than a waitress. More than a sister. More than a caretaker drowning in debt and worry.

She walked over, touching her forehead slightly, feeling her temperature still lit up like a lantern's heat.

“You should get some rest."

She advised, before retrieving her room.

Love, — real, beautiful, terrifying love, especially for a man— didn’t belong in her world.

She walked into work the next morning, exhausted but determined. The manager handed her double shifts. Another of her co-workers was absent for some wild reason, she supposed. And without thinking, Trianna said yes.

Because bills don’t care about feelings.

Because she didn’t even know if Luise would come back.

Because maybe it was better this way.

Still, around 3 p.m., as she cleared tables with aching feet, the bell above the café door rang, and her heart jumped before she even looked up.

But it wasn’t him.

The disappointment hit harder than she wanted to admit.

At home, her sister Amaya sat cross-legged on the floor, struggling with homework. “Tia, I need help.”

Trianna dropped her bag and sat beside her. “Math?”

Amaya nodded. “I hate decimals.”

Trianna smiled tiredly and pulled the workbook close. “Let’s beat them up together, then.”

Luise’s absence wasn’t just a missing person — it was a missing feeling. A fleeting taste of something soft in a world that had only ever been hard.

She hadn’t lied when she said she worked three jobs. The café was just one. At night, she cleaned offices downtown. On weekends, she did face painting at children’s parties. Not because she wanted to, but because her family couldn’t afford her not to. Rent came fast. Medicine came faster. And the weight of everything came all at once.

Every time she opened the sketchpad she carried in her worn-out tote, her hands trembled. She hadn’t drawn anything since the ship. Since *him*.

Until last night.

She’d drawn his eyes. Not his face. Just the eyes. Because they were what haunted her most — the way they had seen her, not just looking at her. The way he listened without interrupting. The way he made her feel, for the first time in years, like maybe she wasn’t just surviving.

But hope had a cost. And Trianna had been taught since childhood not to reach for things she couldn’t hold.

“Mom’s fever is back,” Jaden said softly that evening, after spending some hours with Amaya’s homework, sitting cross-legged on their old floral couch. The youngest, only nine, was too familiar with medicine names and ambulance phone numbers. Too familiar with watching his sister cry behind the bathroom door.

Trianna exhaled, placing the last of the groceries on the counter. “I know. "I’ll call the clinic in the morning.” she said taking out a medium-sized pot and filling it with water in it.

“We still owe them from the last time.”

She responded, a bit more harshly than normal.

“I know, Jaden. "I know.” He noticed her tone and went silent for a minute or two before her voice broke the short silence.

“I’ll work something out," Jade. I promise. Come here"

She said, opening her arms as he ran into it. He hugged her tightly. She felt his little heart thumping against hers, rubbing his head gently. Trying to hold back tears that had already creeping in her eyes.

She curled up on the couch after the kids fell asleep, knees pulled to her chest, phone dimly lit in her hand.

The tears came before she could stop them.

She wanted to see him.

She needed to see him.

But the thought of letting herself fall — of being vulnerable again — terrified her more than the overdue bills.

She battled with her thoughts and the surprising urge to see Luise again. She knew she couldn't keep up with it for long but did anyway. Her mom's illness and siblings are her biggest priority at the moment, and she won't choose to be selfish over the only people she loves in the world.

Even when her heart cried every night for him, even when he managed to crawl into her head. Even when she still wanted to see him again.

She drifted off, lost in her thoughts, silently praying for a miracle — only to be startled awake by a notification. Who could be messaging at this hour? She wondered.