Lost

Nadia (Ch. 12)

Drawing in a deep breath, I keep pushing through the trees. The fell of every scrap from the branches as they hit my tired body, makes me wish I could just stop for a minute. My breathing becomes ragged with all my unshed tears. Tonight, I saved a life without taking one. I'm finally starting to understand and control my powers. Feeling fatigue, I stumble on some twigs. I'm not sure if I can go on much longer without having any rest. Healing that shifter took so much energy out of me. I knew I should've fed before I left my safe haven, but I just couldn't risk being caught there.

I can't help but think about how familiar he felt to me. it was like I knew him and could trust him, but that couldn't be possible. I wasn't even sure if I could trust Marcel. Heh! The king of vampires was my father. Shaking my head, I try to clear the fatigue I'm feeling. I'm glad I saved his life, but how much risk did I put myself in by doing that. "Huh," leaning against a tree, I try to catch my breath. My wolf companion turns back around to join me, nudging the back of my legs. I know she wants me to continue moving, but I can't go on. I'm too tired. Growling at the trees, she nudges me again. Something out there must have her worried. Patting her head, I push off the tree and continue to walk deeper into the woods.

Following behind her, she leads me to a small stream. Crouching down, I take hearty gulps of water. Splashing some on my face and around my neck, my body starts to cool, and my fatigue doesn't seem so bad. Though I am going to have to eat soon if I want to regain my strength. Sitting there I feel a sense of peace wash over me, if only I can find a place to lay low for a while. Pulling out my phone I check to see if Marcel has called, instead I see a text saying, 'Reached out to the local pack. Haven't heard anything yet but I'm going to try again tonight. Stay safe!'

Sighing, I put my phone back in my bag. Looking at the she-wolf I decide to call her Stella. Unlike the other wolves that left the clearing, she was the only one not part of a pack. She was also the most Alpha out of all the females. I knew the moment I touched her that she was a lone wolf. Just like me, stroking her fur, we relax for a bit. The sound of the stream flowing is so peaceful that I almost fall asleep. That is until I see something further up the stream. Rising, I start walking toward the top of the stream. Stella follows closely behind me. with each step we take we move closer to it; I nearly collapse with joy.

It is a cabin! Breaking into a run, Stella chases after me; smacking the side of the cabin. I cry out in joy, I lean over to panting, "Was this where you were leading me all along?" smiling at Stella I pat her side. Moving around the house, I see no cars, or people. It smells of shifter, but there is something else mixed with it. Something that feels like home, like belonging—safety.

Looking through a window I can see the lights are off. Entering I notice that someone has been here, but they haven't been back for some time, which is fine by me. Turning on the lights closest to the front door, I walk over to the sofa. Sitting down, I take in my surroundings. The wall facing me has a large flat screen TV with a surround sound system embedded in the walls. All the other walls seem bare compared to this one. Leaning my head back, I think about all the nights I spent in the clearing. I'm finally able to take stock of what has happened to me. The reality of my situation starts to set in leaving me with a heavy heart. Stella must feel my sorrow, she comes closer resting her head on my knees. Sighing I'm not able to hold the tears back any longer. I don't know how long I cry for but soon they turn into sobs.

I eventually fall asleep and dream of nothing and everything all at once. The feel of the sun touching my face wakes me. Shifting on the couch, Stella jumps down and starts walking around. With the sun shining through the cabin, I get a better look and notice that it isn't as small as I originally thought. It's spacious and has more of a homey feel than a creepy cabin. Standing I stretch my muscles, sitting back down on the couch; I notice a fireplace in the right corner near the TV. Turning toward the front door, I can see the kitchen which is across from the wall with the fireplace.

I decide to try something new. Marcel said my mother had a way of knowing every detail about her surrounding and the people she lived with, without having to be asleep or restful state. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath, exhaling I open my eyes and push my aura past me. I feel it flow through the house. Like I'm touching everything without having to move. Slowly I pull everything back to me. Down the hall is a single bedroom with a walk-in closet and bathroom across the hall from it. I'm so stupid! I wish I did this last night. It probably would've been better to sleep in a bed then on the couch. Better late than never.

I know I shouldn't have let my guard down, but I was too exhausted to do anything last night. Plus, Stella would've attacked anyone that got too close to me. In the short time I've known her, it's almost as if she's adopted me or I've adopted her. Either way we are friends. Looking at her, I wonder if I should tell her I know she's a shifter. Tilting my head to the left, she follows my movement. Then again, I wonder if she even knows she's more than an animal. Doesn't matter much I'll always protect her just like she's done for me.

Solely relying on Stella isn't something I should do and forgetting to check here last night—makes me realize just how emotionally stressed out I've been these past few days. Leaning forward, I run my hands through my hair.

"I'm sorry Stella," patting her head, I get up and walk over to the kitchen. Now that I'm rested, I need to find something to eat. In the fridge I find left over pizza, and a packet of steak. Grabbing the steak, I place it on the counter while I look for a plate and frying pan. While I cook Stella walks around the cabin making sure we're safe. When I'm done cooking, I place one steak on a plate for her and the rest on a plate for myself. While eating, a memory from last summer pops into my head. Chuckling I remember how my dad burned all the steaks on the grill and all we had to eat that night was salad and left-over chicken. Doesn't take long for a whole bunch of memories to assault me. My tenth birthday comes to mind.

While hiding from a bunch of kids that weren't really my friends. I heard a bunch of yelling. One of my parent's associate's kids were missing. No one could find the boy. I knew where he was though. I didn't know how I did, I just knew. When I told my parents', what happened and his exact location. They got mad at me and told me to never tell anyone what I just did.

Sighing, I never realized how many of my childhood memories where about me finding something or someone and keeping it a secret. Many things from my past are all starting to make sense. I wish I could just sit here and reminisce about every single one of them, but I can't. I've already spent too much time lingering at this cabin and the owner could come back anytime. Looking at the mess I've made, "ugh," rolling my eyes I start tiding up the place. Next, I fix the pillows on the couch and make sure everything is as I left it. Taking one last look, I smile satisfied with the way everything looks. Outside I take a deep breath, walking to the back of the house, I follow the trail I had the night before. It isn't until I'm almost near the stream that I realize Stella isn't with me.

"s**t!" dropping my bags, under a bush, I run back to the cabin. She's not in the living room or kitchen. Make my way down the hall, I check the bathroom as I pass. Not seeing her in there, I face the only other area she could be hiding at; gods I really hope she's not in the bedroom. Entering, I don't see her on the bed. Everything in the room is modern with little rustic touches. Hearing a rustling noise, "Stella," I call out to her. Nudging the closet door, I see her chewing at jacket. The smell of blood hits me as I step into the closet. It doesn't take me long to realize it's coming from the jacket she's rolled in, whimpering she looks at me with sad eyes.

"What's the matter?"

She continues to whimper, crutching down to her level, I pat her head. Removing the jacket from her, I sniff it. Multiple scents are gathered together, one scent that pulls at me the most is that of—my fated mate. This is his jacket. I'm absolutely positive of that, this is his jacket, but the blood is not his. Sniffing it again, I focus on the blood. It has the same woodsy ting but it's more complex. There is a familiar bond between my mate and whoever's blood this is. Stella whimpers some more. Rubbing my leg, she assaults me with images of a wolf pup. This pup and her are mates, but she hasn't been able to find him since they were separated.

"It's okay. I'll help you find your fated. We're pack," rubbing her head, I place the jacket back on the floor for her. Looking around the closet, I search for clues as to who my fated is; whether he's a good guy or not. I just don't know. Finding a pair of sweatpants and hoodie, grabbing them I head to the bathroom. Stella follows dragging the bloody jacket. Sitting in the hall she waits for me, deciding to take a shower, isn't a good idea but who knows when I'll get this chance again. Finished showering, I get dressed in his clothes. They're warm and smell of him; the way our scents mix together feel so right. My soul tugs at the invisible string that connects us.

Briefly I feel his anger and frustration. Blocking myself from the pull, I focus on what I need to do, making a mental list. I head back to the main living area. Making sure Stella is with me, we leave. Gathering my bags, I stuff my dirty clothes inside. Before Stella can protest, I wrap the jacket around her body. That way she can smell the mix of herself and her mate. It doesn't take us long to get lost in the woods. Well, I think we're lost, but Stella seems to know where she is going. Losing myself to my thoughts, I think about the past. Before I knew I was adopted, before finding Rose and Tobias together, before my parents died and I was left alone. Sadness swamps me. I can't wallow in self-pity anymore.

It doesn't take long for dusk to emerge. The treetops look beautiful on the pink-purple backdrop that's the sky. Finding another stream, we follow it to a small cave. Gathering some wood, I make a fire. Together we sit and watch as the moon rises. Stella eventually leaves to go hunt. Watching her, I wonder what could have caused her to stay in wolf form for so long. Her guard is always up, the only time its down is when she's sleeping. Even then it's hard to figure out why she's like this. Somethings slip out. Like her dreams. That's how I knew her name was Stella. Every time I say her name, a flicker of recognition crosses her eyes. So, I continue to say it. I'm the only thing keeping her connected to her humanity. Resting my head on my knees, my eyes fall to the jacket. Smiling, maybe I'm not the only one keeping her connected to her human self.

"Ugh," I lie back, resting my head on my knapsack. I must have drifted off because Stella's stinky breath wakes me up. At my feet are a couple of rabbits. It doesn't take me long to skin and drain mine. While she eats hers. Cooking one of the rabbits, I hunt around for something to help me dry out the rest. Since I couldn't find anything, my only option is to smoke the meat. After my rabbit is done cooking, I place the strips of meat from the others and start smoking them. Now that I've rested and have eaten enough, I'm able to use my cloaking powers. It doesn't take much out of me since we're in a small cave. Which is a blessing because I'll need all my energy to protect us if we're found.

Curling up against me, Stella falls asleep. I continue to watch the stars and think about everything. The invisible string tugs, slowly I lower my guard. I feel his warmth wrap around me. It's getting harder to keep myself detached. Slamming my guard back up, I cut the connection. I can't have him find me. I'm not sure I can trust him, what if he works for Tobias or worse his father. I can't rely on this feeling or him, look what happened with Tobias and Rose. I trusted them, I trusted my feelings for Tobias. Now I'm running for my life. I can barely trust myself most times.

I still feel him tugging, but I ignore it. Eventually it stops. Sleep comes easy and my dreams are filled with his warmth. My body overheats and my n*****s tighten. The cool breeze of night sends a chill up my spine. My need for him grows stronger each day. Toying with our bond just makes it worst. Tossing and turning, I get up. "Ugh," running my hands through my hair. I finger out the tangles. Sweat drips down my back. My temperature rises. Looking at the stream, I start stripping off his clothes. Running out of the cave, I dive in. the coolness of the water burns my skin. Screaming I force myself to stay in, eventually my skin cools and my temperature returns to normal.

Walking back to the cave, I pull back on his clothes. Gods why does this have to be so hard. I wish my mom was here to help me or my dad. Better yet, both of them. Mom would probably tell me to follow the pull and trust the bond. While father would want me to be realistic and protect myself before giving myself over to these feels. Either way they would both say it wouldn't be easy. That I'd have to find a way to trust my mate. Trust, what a complicated concept.

I'm supposed to trust not one but two men. It's hard enough trusting Marcel but I'm trying. Simply because my parents told me, he's my real father. But my mate, that's another story.

"GRR! Why does this have to be so hard!"

Kicking a rock, it shatters hitting a wall. Stella gets up growling, "Sorry, Stel." Sitting in the caves opening, I stare at our surroundings. Everything is so peaceful. Just wish my thoughts were the same way. Together we sit and watch the sun rise over the valley below. Without thinking I or looking at her I say, "What was so horrible that you never changed back?"

From the corner of my eye, I see her ears perk up. She eyes me suspiciously. I don't move, keeping my posture relaxed. "I don't care that you're a shifter. I knew the first day in the clearing that we are kindred spirits. Just know that I will protect you if and when you are ready to shift back. Plus, it would be nice to not constantly feel like I'm talking to myself."

The silents stretches between us and then I hear her move back into the cave. Standing up, I brush off my ass and walk down to the stream. Sitting on a rock, I watch the animals move around gathering food and drinking water. A couple minutes pass, when something darts past me diving into the stream. Shocked I pull my feet back out, watching to see what it was. Looking back to the cave, I don't spot Stella. Searching the water, nothing happens. Then a head darts out a few feet away from me. When she spots me, she moves closer. She looks about 18 years old, maybe a year younger. Her hair, black as ink matches her wolf's coat. Her eyes are crystal blue, and she looks more suited for a beach setting with her phoenix tattoo. Then roaming the woods with me.

Scooting over, she sits next to me. I don't have to wait in silence for long. Leaning back on her arms, she tilts her head to the sun, "It's been 8 years since I last shifted back," looking over at her, I see the sadness in her eyes.

"You don't have to tell me what happened."

"No, I don't mind. My parents were killed when I was 12. Our pack was slaughtered by the Fae King. He wiped our existence from everything. My mother was half goddess, half witch and my father was a shifter. You could say he was a descended from the original shifter line. He could shift into multiple animals. Each of my siblings and I received one of his animals at birth. My mother was his fated mate. When the king killed my father, my mother's screams shocked the earth. She killed thousands of fae," tears slide down her cheeks, "She protected us. Until the heartache killed her."

"How did you escape?"

"My oldest brother. He died, getting me and my other brothers to safety. We all grieved in different ways. Trent, my second oldest brother, left us at an airport and went back to seek revenge. Oliver and I left Rome on a red eye. We arrived in New York and were met by my mother's 'coven'. I use that term loosely since not everyone was fully a witch. My mom's cousin raised us. Until she was killed by a fae assassin. Gods, we thought we were safe from him, but no one is, are they?" she looks at me. Shaking my head, no, she continues, "I couldn't deal with it anymore every loss cute a piece of my soul. I shifted that night; I was 14 and Oliver was17. We decided to run away. We traveled for a while. When we got here, I met someone. I knew he was my fated right away. Oliver got so mad at me saying that we couldn't trust anyone. He was right. I never saw the boy again."

"I'm sorry Stella."

"There's nothing to be sorry about, it was all my fault. I knew better then to use my powers outside of our protected areas."

"Is that why Tobias's father wanted you, because you're powerful?"

"That and I'm basically the only person left of the royal line."

"Where's Oliver?"

"He left for South America, went looking for— well you."

"Me? Why me?"

"Because we are basically the guardians of balance, or I am and you are the Goddess of Balance." She says giving me a smirk.

"Geez, no pressure there," I say hugging my knees, "So, what now?"

"Now we stay hidden, or we find our mates." Looking at me knowingly, I shake my head no. There is no way that I'm looking for my fated. "So, I guess we wait for Marcel to tell us if this pack is a safe bet or not. Until then we stay here. The pack doesn't patrol this far and if Oliver comes back this is where he'd look for me."

"You're worried about him?"

"No— yes. He's all I have left -- I don't know whether he's dead or alive. If he mated someone, forgot about me, what? It's all up in the air," growling she gets up and cast clothes on herself. Following her back to the cave, we eat some dried meat and check our supplies. A howl fills the air, and we look each other before glancing out. Ignoring it we continue to sort everything out. More howls follow, either a shifter died, or a wolf did. I'm hoping it's a wolf and not the shifter I saved.

"Thank you."

Turning to Stella, "For what?"

Looking me in the eye she says, "For saving my fated's life."