Mated To A Vampire-Hunter Princess

Chapter 9

I aletheia. The truth. 

I wouldn’t have ever known what the book entailed if I didn't open it. 

It was a bit scary, talking of witchcraft, things I didn’t even know existed and ultimately, vampires. 

"I recognise that book," Ruby said with squinted eyes as she inched closer to me, as if just seeing the book for sure. "Legends say it was written by a mad woman. It was selling like crazy in the 60's, but it got banned from the market for all its crap." 

Maybe a week ago I would've agreed with Ruby. But skimming through the book, I had doubts about the accusation about the author being crazy. This all could actually be real, but people denied it. That's what the author wrote in the preface. She was sure that humans would deny it, but she was also convinced that it was 'the truth'. 

She was exposed to the shadow world and tried to tell people about it. But when she was silenced because she was deemed 'crazy', she wrote a book, invested all her life savings in publishing it and got it to what she hoped was every book store. 

She only wanted to protect us--protect humans from the evil that she knew existed in the world. But they didn’t believe her. 

Is there a specific reason why my dad chose to give me this book? Did he believe what she wrote? 

Maybe not. 

He was going into another episode when he gave me the book. Maybe he wasn’t even sure what he was doing. 

Sighing, I skipped to where I knew I wanted to go, and I wasn’t even surprised when the pain resurfaced. 

"Are you looking for something in particular?" Ruby asked in curiosity. 

I shrugged. "Not necessarily. I'm just bored," I lied as I causally skipped through everything the woman wrote about vampires, but I was looking for one word in particular. 

Ruby didn’t seem convinced, but she knew better than to question me too much. Instead, she lightly pushed me so that I was laying down, and placed the cold rag over my forehead. 

The more I searched, the worse I felt, and when my eyes finally landed on the heading I'd been searching for, I dashed from bed and ran straight to my attached bathroom, where I hurled my whole breakfast and lunch in the toilet. 

I felt ill to my stomach--literally, and it really made me wonder if rejecting Drew would bring me relief, or more pain. It's just weird how the simple thought of it did this to me, and every step closer I got to learning how to reject him felt like I was being punished by the Grim Reaper instead. 

My mind went back to what Drew told me last night. He said that it would be better if I killed him instead of rejecting him, because the pain would be too much to bear. He was sure that rejection is only painless when both mates don’t want each other, and since he knows I don’t want him, he believed it would be painless for me. 

But hell, this was painful, and I hadn’t even done it yet. Does this mean that I...want him? 

No. It doesn’t make sense. 

This is not what I want. Drew is not who I want. 

So, why is my body telling me otherwise? 

"Oh my gosh you poor thing." Ruby rushed in behind me, immediately crouching down to rub my back. I wanted to scream. 

I no longer knew what to do. I thought rejecting Drew would do the trick, but I was starting to have doubts. I no longer knew what I wanted. I never suspected that this stupid mate bond would affect me, but it’s obvious that it has, even though I haven’t approved. 

Maybe the mere fact that I cannot kill the damn vampire meant that somewhere deep down, buried under the dark clouds of my ice-cold heart, I actually felt attracted to him. And that tiny spec of want will contradict everything that rejection should do. It will hurt me too, only because of that tiny sliver of want. 

For the first time in four years, I was unsure of what to do going forward. The thought almost brought me to tears, and actually accepted them this time, but they didn’t fall. 

What will I do? 

"Can you give me a few minutes alone, Ruby?" I asked in a hush whisper that I almost couldn’t recognise my voice. 

She shook her head stubbornly. "I cannot-" 

"Ruby please!" I cried out in frustration, my voice desperate and sharper than a sword. I took her by surprise as she paused to blink a few times. But eventually, she nodded, mumbled something and left. 

I dragged myself to my bed again and plopped in it facing down. My life was in shambles, simply because I initiated skin-to-skin contact with a vampire. 

Who would've thought? 

I suddenly became tense and alert when I felt a rush of wind, but the day was nowhere windy. 

I just knew it was him. I could actually feel him. 

"Go away." I groaned, feeling defeated for the first time in my life. I didn’t want to see him so he could make me feel worse even though his mere presence seemed to have distinguished every ounce of pain from my body. 

"You're hurting," he said, his voice low and almost regretful. Feeling a sudden burn of fury, I spun in my sheets and threw him a glare. 

"Yes I am, Drew. You came into my life and you f****d it up," I snapped. It was nobody's fault but his. 

If he knew all this would happen, he should’ve stayed the hell away from me. But he had to make jealousy and possessiveness pull him to that ball. 

It was then that I realised that his eyes were bloodshot red, and he looked like a mess. Images of his drunken state last night flashed in my mind. 

"I'm sorry," he mumbled with his eyes downcast. I scoffed but I had nothing to say. 

I pulled my knees to my chest as I stared at him, waiting for him to say something else, but when he didn’t, I decided to speak. 

"You said I trapped you here. Well, you've trapped me too. And I will always hate you for it." 

"I didn’t choose you as my mate, Amber." He pinched the bridge of his nose before meeting my gaze again. "I didn’t have any control over it, okay? I'm just as a victim as you to fate's messed up plan of destiny or whatever this dumb f**k is." 

I laughed humorlessly. "You weren’t saying that last night though." 

"Forget what I said last night. I was drunk," he mumbled, but loud enough for me to hear. I stared at him in annoyance. 

See this is what I can’t stand with him. He's so inconsistent in what he says or does. 

For the last twenty-two years, he's been staying out of my life because he didn’t 'want' me, but he couldn’t leave Consok because he felt connected to me. Yet even though he's so convinced that he doesn’t want me, he couldn’t stay away from my ball because he can’t stand seeing me with someone else. Then, every time he says one thing, he says something completely different to contradict himself. 

Why is he being so guarded? If he knew he said what he needed to say last night when he was drunk, why try to deny it? 

"Why are you here Drew?” I decided to ask. Did he simply show up at my room to tell me that this mate bond is a mistake? 

He looked unsure for a while. "I-I couldn’t stay-" 

"If you say you couldn’t stay away one more time, I swear to god I will shoot you with my chives gun," I gritted out. See? The inconsistency is frustrating! 

"What do you want me to say then?" he shouted, causing me to raise an eyebrow at him. 

I shuffled from my bed to move closer to him. "What do I want you to say? I want you to be forward for once Drew! You can’t be showing up in my life because of some primal instinct and then say the opposite by cursing this mate bond, that you obviously aren’t fond of, but can’t help! So tell me Drew, tell me please what is it that you really want? Drop this crap because I can see right through it." 

"Amber..." 

"And before you tell me that I touched you and made it harder or anything, please tell me what you meant last night when you said you don’t deserve me, but you desire to have me. Is that why you're being like this?" 

He was quiet for a while, but the look on his face told me that he meant whatever he said last night. There was no denying it. 

"It doesn’t matter. It would never work." He started moving towards the window again, and my annoyance only grew. 

"You have to find a way to fix this!" I demanded as I stalked after him. "I have a duty, Drew. This needs to end." 

He stopped in his tracks and gazed at me over his shoulder. "I know. I've accepted that." 

He then looked towards my bed, and I watched as his body stiffen. 

"The Truth," he mumbled, apparently familiar with the book. What seemed like fear flashed across his eyes for a second before it disappeared as if it wasn’t there. How does he hide his feelings so well? 

He turned towards me again, and I had to stumble back a bit after realising how close to him I stood. 

"I thought you weren’t familiar with how rejection works," I accused with narrowed eyes. By the look on his face, I was sure that he knew why I had the book in the first place. Yet, last night he convinced me that he didn’t know how it works. 

He met my eyes with his stormy ones in challenging. "I don’t." He defended. 

"So why are you looking at the book like that? Obviously you know why I had it." 

"I-I." He looked away again. He cannot maintain eye contact no matter what. "I never cared to learn." 

They grew dark again, and he looked pained as he faced me again. His fist was balled and his cheeks clenched as he gulped. 

"Go ahead then," he said. "Do it." My mouth fell in shock at that. Was he telling me to reject him? 

"What?" 

"You obviously know how to do it, so go ahead." I couldn’t believe my ears. 

"You're asking me to reject you? Last night you were so sure that death would be better than rejection," I told him, flabbergasted. His jaw ticked again as he roughly grabbed my shoulder and stared intensely in my eyes. 

"I know Amber. f**k, don’t you think I know? But you can finally be free of me and move on with your life. Last night my emotions took over my logical mind. But I know there’s no other way. If you reject me, you won’t have to worry about me ever again. Just do it." 

"Drew I ca-" 

"Amber do it!" he urged as his grip on my shoulders grew impossibly tighter that they hurt. Behind his stormy eyes, I could see him holding back the pain that was obviously already eating away at him. 

He was willing to face a fate worse than death just so I could get back to my normal life? 

"I can’t," I told him truthfully as I pulled away. He looked puzzled for a while as his eyes began to clear. 

"What?" 

I gulped but repeated anyway. "I can't. When I even considered rejecting you, I felt sick to my stomach. I can't reject you, okay?" 

It seemed like it was taking a while for him to process, but when he did, he looked like a deer in headlights. "Are you saying that you-you want me?" 

"I don’t," I replied quickly. "But a part of me does. If I reject you, I'm not sure I’d ever recover." Whenever did I get so mushy? "Ugh I hate you-" I didn’t get to finish my statement, because I was caught in Drew's arms in what seemed like the blink of an eye, and he had his hand firmly cupping my cheek as he stared into my soul. 

"Tell me, Amber. Tell me that you want me." He sounded so demanding but desperate, as if I'd save his life by saying it. 

Yet, even when my mind screamed at me to pull away, I felt myself sinking deep in a trance as I melted in his arms. It was the first he was holding me this close and my body and mind reacted to it in a way I'd deem as an abomination. 

Still, I couldn’t pull away. I sank deeper in his spell as I melted in his arms. My lips parted but my voice felt like it had left me, and my feet felt numb as his fingers pressed in my back. 

"Tell me,” he whispered, much calmer this time with his eyes searching and daring. 

"I-I want you." I heard myself say, but then the most blissful feeling encamped my body and I felt something I haven't felt in a long time. 

Warmth. 

"I want you so much," I repeated, accepting and relishing in this new emotion. A nudge in the back of my mind told me I'd regret this once I'm alone, but I couldn’t think about anything else but Drew. 

I couldn’t see anything else but him. 

His orbs grew dark again but this time in what seemed like desire. His fingers dug hard in my back, yet his thumb was so gentle and caressing on my cheek as he inched closer to me. 

"I'm selfish for doing this," he said in a small voice that I almost didn’t hear. "But you're mine now." 

And just like that, my whole world went still when Drew's lips met mine.