Mrs. Williams

Chapter nine

James POV.

I might be pushing my luck but I do not understand what is going on with me either, all I know is that I want to share her bed tonight.

'' You do know that I'm not scare of you right?, so if you want to share my bed then you can hubby dearest, come to bed. ''

She says the last three words rather seductively and with that she goes to our room upstairs.

I think I might just reconsider tonight's sleeping arrangement because I feel it in my guts that this will not end well besides I do not trust myself.

But if I back down right now, she will think am actually attracted to her and I'm not.

Maybe I can buy more time to decide on my game, much as I crave some form of affection from my wife that is right I finally accept that I want attention from my wife, I know I should never act on that so how the hell can I get out of this situation I created for myself.

***

Can you believe she is not sleeping yet, I took my sweet time to get here thinking I will find her sleeping but no, luck is not on my side today now I have to deal with my precious wife, great just what I needed.

'' You afraid of me now hubby dearest, you are just coming now? Don't tell me I crushed your Hope of finding me sleeping hey? ''

Ha, now she thinks it is funny huh. I will show her who should be afraid and it is definitely not me.

I was not sure before but now I think I know what I want and that is for her not to forget this night ever.

'' Should I really be afraid and of you?, oh please why on earth should I be afraid of my own wife? ''

I think I have finally lost it, who in their right mind claim to love another woman but crave another maybe it is because she is pregnant for me yep definitely because of that absolutely, what else could make me want her pfft I can not like her, nope absolutely not.

'' I do not bite nor do I kick in my sleep so you can rest easy actually on a second thought, sharing a bed with me is not that difficult after all it won't be your first time unless you are scare of not being able to keep your hands to yourself. ''

That is very true, I do not trust myself with her but by no means are I'm accepting that especially to her face.

'' I can keep to myself just fine but can you, are you sure you will be able to resist me after all I'm your first right?.

I have  beautiful Leila why would you think I will be seduced by you, I made a mistake once before and it is not happening again. ''

Damn I shouldn't have said the last part because much as she is acting like she do not care about what I say to her, I can say with conviction that my words did hurt more than she is willing to accept.

But in my defense, I just wanted to remind myself that I should not get involve with her more than I already am, though am not sure whether that is even possible at this juncture.

'' Yep you are right about everything except that I do not wish to remember that night as a mistake because my children will most definitely not be a product of a mistake.

I knew what I wanted when it happened and you know what even if someone is to show me this as the outcome of that night I would still do what I did that night without

regrets....''

Now I definitely feel terrible, I do not consider that night as a mistake as well, that night has opened new gates for me I might have divorced my love but now I have children on the way something I never thought possible so yes I'm a d**k for making her feel worst than she already is about this situation. I know she would have preferred co-parenting other than marring a man who is already in love with another woman but her family made sure that she married me for reasons I'm yet to find out.

The way her family treats her and how she talks about them I can say there is more to the Johnsons story than meet the eye, now my question is why is my dear wife so well guarded, what did she have to endure in the Johnsons household.

''.... And unlike you I do regret my actions because I'm a believer of the positive sides of possible bad decisions, getting involve with a married man is the worst thing I have a ever done and believe me when I say I will forever feel bad about destroying your marriage with the love of your life but that do not mean the genesis of my children will be frowned up on either.

I would suggest you reconsider your priorities hubby, you either want the kids or you do not because believe me I can seriously take care of my children on my own if you are going to see your greatest mistake whenever you set your eyes on them....''

To be fair, I never considered my children a mistake, OK I get it calling that night a mistake is almost like considering everything that comes with it as a mistake.

But I do not, I'm more than ecstatic about my children. I have waited my entire life to hear that piece of news that I will be a dad and now I'm going to be a dad to two beautiful children and i couldn't be happier.

''.... I do not wish to lecture you hubby but I hate being the cause of unhappiness and quite frankly I have already done enough damage to you and Leila and I do not wish to add more fuel to that fire. ''

I do get her point but how did we get to this conversation, she sounds depress now and that is not healthy for a pregnant woman right?

'' I get your point and I'm sorry for making you feel bad about everything, nothing is your fault and you never ask for any of these and I'm very sure you would prefer to be a single mother. ''

I know, she would rather be a single mom than spend her life with a man who do not love her.

I really did ruin her life, I knew I was married but got intimate with her anyway now I get all lovey dovey with Leila without considering her feelings at all, when did I become this cold hearted.

I might not love her but I married her anyway for my unborn children yes but what about her, what do she get out of this marriage. I still keep the woman of my dreams in my bed and i have children on the way so I actually get everything I want but what about her.

So I do the only thing I can do in this situation. Hugging her feels like heaven, she holds onto me tighter than I anticipated. She might actually needs this as much as I do, I need assurance that I haven't pushed her that far away.

She is way too important to me, I can not draw the line anymore whether I want her for the children or if I just wants her for her and not because she is carrying my unborn children.

When she lifts her head off my chest and looks at me, I swear I stopped breathing there for a second.

Just look at those lips, I can almost remember the taste of her lips on my mine and as if my body have a mind of it's own.

My lips feel dry all of the sudden, I lick my lower lips and her eyes follow my action like her life defended on it.

I do not know who lean in before who but I'm finally kissing her again after so long, it is like I have been starved.

I can not remember a mere kiss tasting this good, she tastes like strawberry it could be because she she ate strawberry flavored cake for dessert but still, I could swear that it is her natural taste, f**k my life.

I just can not have enough of her, damn I'm screwed royally I tell you. I need a miracle to pull out of this kiss because I do not have a damn will power to do that myself.

I snake my right arm around her waist to pull her closer and my left capping her head to keep her from shaking so much.

She wrap her arms around my neck and damn this is life, I just want her closer than this so I do just that, I lick her lower lips seeking permission to deepen this kiss and she allows me.

I walk her to the bed without actually ending the kiss, when she hit the bed, I lower her to the bed slowly.

I just want to explore her entire body and get to know her body contour by contour.

She really does drive me crazy, when I  touch the hem of her T-shirt because I want this thing off her so I can actually look at her very well that seems to have triggered something in her, she withdraws herself slowly like she really did not want this to end but she just have better sense to know that this thing we have going on right now will not end well but who cares certainly not me.

'' Oh my God, am so sorry, please forgive me. I should never have done that oh God I should have known better, please forgive me hubby I mean Mr Williams. ''

Mr. Williams so now we are back to square one no no my dear wife not happening and why on earth should she apologize for kissing her own husband or that's right, this is a marriage of convenient where I'm suppose to love my ex wife, yep thanks wify for refreshing my memory because I lost it for a second there.

///////

Vote and comment

Peace✌ & love