Mel
1304 Words
After finding out that Celine was not the one who replied to my message when I asked her to be my girlfriend, something inside me changed.
At first, I tried acting normal about it.
I laughed with her.
I still called her.
I still spent time with her.
But deep down, I felt disappointed.
Very disappointed.
Because to me, that moment had meant something serious. I had spent days waiting nervously for her answer, believing every word in that message came directly from her heart.
Only to later discover her friend Rita was the one who actually typed it.
The more I thought about it, the more it bothered me.
It made me question everything.
Did she really want me from the beginning?
Or did she just go along with things because her friend encouraged her?
Those thoughts stayed in my head constantly.
And slowly, I started withdrawing emotionally.
Not completely.
But enough for Celine to notice.
“You’ve been acting strange lately,” she said one evening while we were eating dinner together at a small restaurant near my apartment.
“I’m fine,” I replied.
“You’re quieter now.”
I forced a smile.
“Work stress.”
But honestly, it wasn’t work.
It was trust.
Something about the relationship no longer felt secure to me.
At times, it even became difficult to take her seriously.
Not because I stopped liking her.
I still cared about her deeply.
But I no longer felt completely safe emotionally.
A small part of me kept wondering if I was more invested in the relationship than she was.
And unfortunately, that emotional distance created space for someone else to enter my life.
Her name was Mel.
I met Mel online.
Funny enough, it happened on my birthday.
One of my old high school classmates had posted my birthday pictures on social media and tagged me. I didn’t even think much about it until later that evening when I received a message from an unknown number.
The message was simple.
“Hi Josh. I hope this isn’t weird, but I saw your birthday pictures online. Happy birthday.”
At first, I assumed it was probably one of my classmates’ friends.
So I replied politely.
“Thank you. Who’s this?”
A few seconds later she replied.
“My name is Mel. I know Sandra from your high school.”
Sandra was the classmate who posted my pictures.
We talked casually for a few minutes after that.
Then somehow, the conversation kept going.
And before I realized it, we had exchanged numbers.
That same night, Mel called me.
Normally, I don’t enjoy long phone conversations with people I barely know.
But with Mel, things flowed naturally almost immediately.
Her voice was calm and mature.
The kind of voice that somehow relaxed you instantly.
We spoke for almost three hours that night.
Three whole hours.
And surprisingly, it didn’t feel awkward at all.
It felt like talking to someone I had known for years.
She lived in another city, far from Longwood, but distance somehow didn’t matter during our conversations.
We spoke about everything.
Family.
Life.
Childhood memories.
Dreams.
Relationships.
At one point during the call, she laughed and said, “It’s strange how comfortable this conversation feels.”
I smiled while lying on my bed.
“I was literally thinking the same thing.”
And honestly, I was.
Talking to Mel felt easy.
Peaceful.
There was no confusion with her.
No mixed signals.
No emotional guessing games.
She expressed herself clearly.
If she missed me, she said it.
If she liked something about me, she said it.
And slowly, I started noticing something dangerous.
Mel embodied many of the things I had secretly wanted from Celine emotionally.
Consistency.
Reassurance.
Intentionality.
She listened carefully when I spoke.
She remembered little details.
She checked up on me constantly.
Sometimes she would randomly send messages like:
“Have you eaten today?”
Or:
“Please don’t overwork yourself.”
Simple things.
But after all the emotional uncertainty I had been feeling with Celine, those little acts affected me deeply.
And the truth?
I looked forward to talking to Mel every day.
That scared me a little.
Because technically, I already had a girlfriend.
Still, I justified it in my head.
I told myself Mel was just a friend.
Nothing serious.
But honestly, deep down, I knew emotional lines were beginning to blur.
One night while talking on the phone, Mel suddenly asked me:
“So… are you seeing someone?”
The question caught me off guard.
I stayed quiet for a few seconds.
Then I answered honestly.
“Yeah.”
There was silence on the line briefly.
“Oh,” she said softly.
I immediately felt guilty.
But strangely, I also didn’t want the conversation to end.
“You?” I asked quickly.
“No,” she replied. “I’m single.”
I nodded quietly even though she couldn’t see me.
Then she laughed lightly.
“Well… now I feel like I accidentally stole somebody’s boyfriend.”
“You didn’t steal anybody,” I said quickly.
But even as I said it, part of me wondered if I was already emotionally drifting away from Celine.
The confusing part about Mel was that she genuinely seemed interested in me from the very beginning.
There was no uncertainty with her.
No hesitation.
No friend replying messages on her behalf.
And maybe because of what happened with Celine earlier, that certainty became addictive to me.
The funny thing was, physically, Mel was not exactly my usual type.
She was beautiful.
Very beautiful.
But she was dark-skinned, and if I’m being honest, dark-skinned women were never really what I usually found myself attracted to physically.
Most of the girls I had liked before were lighter in complexion.
That was just my natural preference growing up.
But with Mel, something strange happened.
The more we talked, the less I focused on physical preferences.
Because her personality slowly became more attractive than appearances.
She had this warmth about her.
A softness in the way she spoke.
A maturity that made conversations feel deeper.
One evening during a video call, she smiled and asked me directly:
“Be honest… what was your first impression of me?”
I laughed nervously.
“You really want honesty?”
“Yes.”
I hesitated briefly.
“Honestly… I thought you were beautiful.”
She narrowed her eyes suspiciously.
“That sounded edited.”
I laughed harder.
“Okay fine. At first, I thought you looked too serious.”
“That’s better,” she said proudly.
“But now?”
I smiled slightly.
“Now I think you’re one of the easiest people to talk to.”
Her expression softened after I said that.
And strangely enough, mine did too.
That was when I realized things were getting dangerous emotionally.
Because even though I was still with Celine…
Part of my heart was slowly opening somewhere else.
And the worst part?
Celine had no idea.
Meanwhile, my relationship with her kept becoming more complicated.
Sometimes she would complain that I wasn’t as expressive anymore.
“You don’t call me as much these days,” she said during one argument.
“I’ve been busy.”
“You’re always busy now.”
I sighed heavily.
“I’m trying, Celine.”
But honestly, even I knew something was changing.
The emotional excitement I once felt around her was no longer as strong.
And maybe she sensed it too.
One night after we finished arguing over something small, I sat quietly alone in my apartment thinking deeply.
And for the first time, I asked myself a question that made me uncomfortable.
What if I loved the idea of Celine more than the reality of her?
Because the more time passed…
The more confused my heart became.
- Writer
