The bad boy

Truth coming out

Drake spoils the moment by saying ‘aww look at mom and dad!’ F*** no! Liam was not supposed to know! Drake puts his hand over his mouth, as Liam looks dumbfounded at him then me. ‘What did you just say?’ Liam asks looking intensely at Drake. ‘Ehm, what I mean by that is that if you make up you can have cute babies in the future’ Drake tries to explain hiding the truth. I just shake my head and say ‘Liam I think we have some thing to talk about, but yes I am indeed pregnant’. Liam looks at me and then pulls me into a hug. Lifting me from the ground. ‘We are pregnant?’ He asks with light glowing from his eyes. I then say ‘Yes we are, but I haven’t decided if I want to keep it yet. I don’t know if I could put a baby into the world with everything going on. We aren’t even together and I haven’t even finished high school yet.’. Liam looks at me and gives me a little nod before asking is we could go talk about it some more which I agree to. I think that is what we need. I do need to talk to him about it too. I may be the one that is pregnant but it is also his child that I am carrying. So even though it is my decision at the end of the day he should be allowed to speak his mind about it.

Liam and I drove to the diner where I first met the gang. We even sat down in the same booth. I whisper ‘a lot has happened since that first time you took me here!’ Liam nods and says ‘yeah’. I the say ‘I fell in love with you the first time you brought me here, but that was soon damaged when you broke my trust by kissing Lexi. You gained it back thought little by little only for my heart to be completely shattered!’ I look straight into his eyes. I want him to know how hurt I was and still am. I then say ‘I may be pregnant and you are the father but if I am honest I don’t know if I can put a baby into this situation! We aren’t even together and I don’t even know if we ever can be’. This time my voice begins to tremble as tears start to form in my eyes. How am I going to forgive everything that happened? How am I going to let a baby into this broken relationship that almost seems unfixable? Liam looks me deep in my eyes and says ‘If you would let me then I would like to explain everything to you from my side, and after I tell you everything I will do everything in my power to make you fall in love with me again, to trust me again and repair your heart. I want bothering more than to have you and that baby of ours in my life!’ I look at him for a second debating if I even want to know the whole story or if it would just break me more? But in end up nodding. I would do anything for this baby, even go through heartbreak again. And with my nod Liam begins to explain ‘well as you know Boss and I came up with the plan of me making you fall in love with me so that we could use you for information. We had looked at every possibility in order to gain more insight into the police investigation. Well you were the only way to that information. That’s why I was at your school that day. In hopes of bumping into you and at the party why I was only there for you, but doing that party how we talked and got close made me fall a little for you, and when I then brought you on the date and how you didn’t want to leave even though I had to fight and had to bring you to this diner and meet the gang. Well that just made me fall even more for you. But as you got close to us. To me I hated why I was doing it because I didn’t want to break you. I wanted to be the reason for you smile and laughter! That’s why I distanced myself from you, and well part of why I kissed Lexi was because I couldn’t afford her telling you about my secret. The secret of why we met. Ella I really am fully in love with you! That’s why I accepted your dads deal and offer to help me too, because I don’t want to be the guy stuck in a gang. I want to be good enough for you and well now our little baby!’ He looks at me then to my stomach before adding ‘I will do everything in my power to do the right thing! Be here for you and slowly gain back you trust and love if you will let me that is?’ I look at him and think a little about what he told me. One thing is still bothering me though so I say ‘It wasn’t really the fact that you used me in the beginning that broke me. It was the fact that you hid the truth and that Lexi was the one to tell me!’ I can feel a tear rolling down my cheek as the memories are brought back. But I continue ‘I felt humiliated and crushed. If you love me, then you are supposed to share everything!’. I look at Liam with hurt eyes hoping he would understand. He looks and me and nod, then says ‘I know. I know of you love someone then you tell them everything but I was afraid of hurting and loosing you!’. I look at him and then say ‘Well you lost me either way. Was this a better way to loose me?’. I was starting to get angry as to why he couldn’t see the problem in what happened. Liam takes my hand then says ‘If I could do it over I would. Not our relationship but I would have told you!’. I nod slowly at what he says still finding it hard to believe that he actually would. He can sense my hesitation and asks ‘What can I do to make us work? For us to be a family?’. I look down at the table trying to figure out what I need for this to work, for me to be fine again. ‘To be honest I don’t know. It not that I don’t still love you because I do! My only concern right now is that there is another secret out there just waiting to blow up. I can’t do with heartbreak once again and I will not put our child through that!’ Liam looks at me clearly thinking about what I just said. At this moment I don’t know if it is better to go our separate ways and save me from a potential heart break or to let Liam back into my life fully. Maybe we should start out smaller even?. I just don’t know what to do.. My thoughts are broken when Liam speaks ‘I will do anything to prove to you that I have no other secret, and to prove to you that I am very serious about us and our future!’. One again I find myself just nodding ‘well maybe we should just be friends until you actually leave the gang and we’ll try to show me how serious you are?’ Liam looks at me hurt my agrees to my proposition as he didn’t want to loose me again but he does ask one thing of me ‘I agree to be friends until I prove to you how serious I am and until you feel like you can trust me, but I want to be closer to you and to our growing little baby in your belly, so could you in any way make yourself move to mine?’ I think about it for a second then nod and say ‘as long as I can have my own room then yeah I think we could make that work!’