If I die will you love me?

How It Began

If I should ever love again, it would be much to soon. I hate that I let myself be taken a fool of again. My mother always said that I wore my heart on my sleeve, but all I ever wanted was what her and my father had, a love so strong that nothing would seperate them, in this life or the next. Raised as a child of the church, so my faith was strong but my heart was growing weak, I needed a sign. Something to let me know my time on this earth wouldn't be alone, that one day I could have a family, and be loved in return, the same amount I love them. Opening the door to the cafe down the street from my apartment I stop and inhale the sweet aroma. Mmm. Coffee and sweetener the perfect combination, nothing could melt my sad state like a good coffee combo.

Well almost nothing, until I reach the front counter and as I'm about to explain my order, I hear The most beautiful voice I will ever hear in my life. Its soft, just like a whisper yet strong and authorive. With a a slight accent. not too heavy but enough to know she was of a exotic background. I still haven't quite heard the words that were being said through that voice, that sound how I imagine a drop of honey in soothing tea would sound, if it was a sound of course. I turn to get a better view of whoever it is that's speaking to me, and my heart stops. Mother always said I was easily drawn to looks, but this moment. No, She. Was. Different. She was, from first glance, what looked like five foot seven, I glance quickly down her slim and tanned legs that made me wish I could feel them tangled with mine early in the mornings. She was wearing long dark red knee high boots, with laces all the down the front. With heels that seemed to put three inches on her in height, all hidden underneath a nice Jean skirt showcasing the exact legs I know I'll never be able to forget until I have them wrapped up around me.

Her build was tiny but curvy, the perfect mixture. Exactly enough to fit in my hands, were I to hold her up against me as we danced into the moonlight, listening to music being played by the stores around us. She would slip through my fingers​ as I held a firm grip on her lovely body. Forcing my eyes to move upward and not linger too long on the bosom of an angel. So round and perky, the top of her breasts slightly peeking over the top of her low cut black halter top that seems to tie around the middle of the waist to the back. But those eyes. Once my eyes reach hers, well I'll say once again. I stopped breathing. Which is crazy since I hadn't realised I started again at any point, but it wouldn't matter since like I said I couldn't breathe now. All my breathe left my body as I stared into the most blue and soul grasping eyes seemingly searching my own. They reminded me of the ocean. Blue, but not dark like murky waters, yet not too bright like a cloudless day. Just a peaceful blue that looked like they seemed to be always questioning, searching, for the answer to something. They reminded me of a snowflake. Just melting back into water, to once again help grow the flowers in our path. Finally my ears decide to process things again and my mind rushes to keep up with the things happening around me.

As I focus in again I realize the barista is still asking for my drink and a line has started to form. And those rosy red lips I can't stop thinking about kissing since turning around, have turned up in a smirk knowing full well where my thoughts had taken me. And loving the power that came with it. "Your jacket is inside out" my angel called out probably for the millionth time wondering why she even bothered to help such a strange person. "Uh. Thanks. Ya." I turn back to the barista quickly, as I could hear my angel behind me say yet again in that voice of hers "no problem," I can still hear the smile in her voice. I quickly pass the barista my order then move off to the side to wait to collect my order. Angel orders hers next as she was right behind me, I've never felt so turned on hearing the words french vanilla with 2 shots of espresso. Feeling the tightness in my trousers I hope to god nothing is visible and move to adjust my pants. Angel joins me at the side counter to await her drink as well. Looking at me from the corner of her eye, the smirk still in place.

My heart beats thunderously inside my chest, I'm hoping she can't hear it. I squeeze my palms together below the counter and take a quick deep breath, and brace myself. I say hello. "Uhm. Excuse me, hi. I just wanted to say uh thank you, for the jacket thing." Angel laughs and oh, how the sound melts me in place. I would die for this woman. As soon as I thought those words, I knew in my heart they were true. Barely even a full conversation and semi introduction on our first and only meeting, and I was absolutely sure in my heart that if I had to I would in a heartbeat die for her. Mother was right, I am indeed a fool.

A smile Grace's her lips, taking place of that smirk I've come to admire. " your welcome. But you do realise it's still the wrong way right?" A small chuckle escapes her lips. And I almost become absorbed again if it wasnt for the fact I saw her finger pointing in the direction of my coat as she was talking. Embarrased I quickly take off my jacket then switch it inside out, so it's now properly placed on my body. "Do you know if the coffee is good here? I'm new to the neighborhood and personally would like to find a consistent place for my coffee fix." She tilts her head ever so slightly in question, obviously waiting on me to open my stupid mouth and answer the question. "Yes!" I hope that didnt come off as crazy? Damn. I'm panicking, I just dont want to mess this up. "Yes. I mean I find that their definitely the second best place to grab a coffee from". "Second best?" Again she tilts her head. It's cute, must be a habit.

"And where would the first be?" "Ah, well if I was to be honest I dont think anywhere can make coffee as well as my Ma. Just the perfect blend of coffee and love, warm enough to fill your heart." Oh crap. I just starting going off on how my mom still makes me coffee, I must sound like such a loser. I sigh and lower my head thinking that sealed the deal and lost her intrest. As I'm about to say goodbye I hear the giggle I've grown addicted to. If this is her giggle, I'll surely die after hearing her laugh, and what a welcomed death it would be. "That sounds amazing. Your lucky to have that, I wish I had such amazing coffee." Her order arrives and I feel like I'm running out of time, time to be with her and it scares me. She reaches for her drink then shifts on her feet getting ready to leave. Leave me. So I did the only thing I could thing of, I asked her out.

"Would you like to get dinner together?!".......oh crap. I panicked, but, but, I didnt know what to do. Great now shell think I'm crazy. Or worse weird, crap I gotta figure out how to say I'm kidding. Maybe I'll say it's a spasm? Or that I had an accident as a child, or that I- "Ok." "Wait what?" "What would you like to eat?" "I'm sorry I don't understand? You said ok? To dinner?? With me???"

Chuckling with her hands wrapped around her drink she nods her head yes. "Shall we say nine o' clock. We can meet outside this shop. I'm looking forward to it. Well then I'll see you tonight." And with that she smiles and leaves the store, I'm left standing there shocked and confused at what just happened. It must be a joke. As I ponder the scene that just unfolded, the coffee I finally decided to drink slowly burns my throat letting me realize it was at least not just a dream.