Sound of Your Heart

CHAPTER 08: PAST THAT DOES NOT GO AWAY

Violet does not recall when she was this tired after playing a single piece not lasting even five minutes. There were much harder pieces she tried to pull out in the past and succeeded, but for some reason, this one was so overwhelming that she had to fight just to breath once again. She felt like she became incapable of playing the violin for the rest of the day, yet instead of feeling upset because of it... She felt oddly satisfied and trilled.

Satisfied that she finally managed to play a piece that brought her at the edge to her limits and thrilled because she wanted to experience it again. Like a person that's only been eating bread her entire life, now that she tasted a real feast, she wanted to eat it again. It would be impossible to return to eating only bread again.

"Say," she gasped, yet she could not stop her smile, "is this the ice skating you love so much?"

Somehow, after lying in the ground for few minutes, Daniel managed to drag himself out of the skating rink. He already began to feel numb from the cold, so he couldn't stay there even if he wanted to.

"Yeah," panting for breath, he crumbled down next to her before laughing as well, "it was the skating I love the most."

She couldn't help but hug her knees and nudge closer to him in curiosity.

"It was amazing," she commented but he surprisingly shook his head.

"It was a mess."

"Huh?"

"I disregarded the scoring system and proper choreography, I just did random pirouettes I could think off and followed the music. It could barely be called amazing, moreover I got too tired playing in first half that I messed up twice in the second, that calls for deduction of points." He explained, but she only tilted her head in confusion.

'Points? Half and half? Choreography? Don't you just need to go out and do whatever you want on the ice?'

"I see you don't understand, don't worry," he shook his head, "Most people don't."

'When you come out like that, it's naturally I don't understand anything.'

"So... My music was good?" She fidgeted in the place.

"Yes, it was perfect."

Hearing his words, for some reason she felt an odd warmth in her chest. It made her want to smile, but cry at the same time. There was some nervousness, but it was covered with overwhelming relief. She only felt something similar to this when her grandmother praised her, but today it felt more intense than ever.

'I see, could this be because I was acknowledged? Is this the feeling you wanted me to experience, grandma?'

'If so, thank you. I feel like I know where should I be headed to.'

"I'm glad." Neither of them said anything for the next few minutes, enjoying the silence accompanied by their breathing and loud thumping of their hearts.

"Thanks, one more time, for letting me experience this feeling once again," he broke the silence before standing up. He held out his hand and she gulped when she saw his smiling face. How to explain it... Although he seemed alright yesterday, it was kind of a forced expression. She felt that he was suspicious and evil because he seemed detached, like he was lacking something and now he looks like he regained that something back.

'I see. It really meant a lot of him.'

So she took his hand and shook her head.

"No, I should be the one thanking you. You let me realize something important too." It was true. Up till now she had no idea what her grandmother wanted her to do. She did not understand why she was so certain that Violet will enjoy coming here. But now she was a bit closer to understanding everything. And for the first time, she wanted to achieve something not for someone else, but because she wanted that herself.

Daniel was a bit taken back by her word but then remembered what his grandmother told him this morning about two people helping each other realize things they didn't know about themselves or creating miracles. He could not help but shiver in fear when he recalled her seemingly-innocent smile.

"Old people sure are scary."

"Huh?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

"..."

"Are you perhaps, implying that I'm old?" Her eyebrow twitched as she dangerously eyed her violin case lying on the ground.

"I'm not that delusional. Moreover you're younger than me. If you're old, I should be considered an ancestor now," the look in his eyes was no different than staring at an i***t.

"..."

Is this the same person from five seconds ago? Is he perhaps bipolar? No, he IS bipolar, isn't he?

"Why do I feel like you're thinking about something that will make me slice your throat with my skates?" His eyebrow dangerously twitched as she inched closer to her violin case. What two people fated together? It was obviously just a pure accident, they are as incompatible with each other as it can be!

"I was just thinking to use my violin case to block it." That was close. She almost fell for his trap. That is right, this man is a vile swindler!

"Anyway, feel like telling me more about yourself now?" She changed the topic. At this rate they'll seriously start fighting.

"Heh, what is this? What? Are you getting into me? Could it be that you fell for my charms?" He grinned making her actually go and grab the violin case before raising her eyebrow. Come on, I dare you to continue!

He finally sighed in defeat.

"Alright. It might be a bit unbelievable to you, though."

She lowered the case before nodding.

"I'm listening."

"The truth is... I'm deaf."

"Not blind?"

"... Yeah, I get that a lot." He sighed once again before re-entering the skating rink. He did not go too far from her and dazedly looked in front of himself.

"It's a bit... No, it was a bit painful topic to talk about for me. Few years ago, I was preparing to compete for World Championship. That day, I was going home from the training, the same route, the same time, the same train station — there was nothing to say that the day was different than usual at that moment."

He recalled that day, three more months left until finals. As someone who was second place for a while now, Daniel didn't need to go through much competitions at the time, so he had a lot of free time to practice. That time, he seriously believed that he could get the gold medal.

"Waiting for the train at the same station, the same bench. People were bustling to and fro like usual. The same businessman, same group of students, woman who would ride on that train merely because she enjoyed to, the same guy playing a guitar for money... Absolutely everything was the same. But now, none of them can wait for that train anymore." At that moment, the sound of skates moving across the ice were exceptionally loud in Violet's ears. And a lone figure on the ice lost that magnificence and composure from earlier.

There was not a single ounce of that unremitting king from before. And that mere fact made him look so pitiful.

He noticed her gaze and that helped him shake off the memories of the past that were about to engulf him in darkness.

"Sorry about that, anyway I was lucky. It was the work of terrorist, or so I've been informed. I had luck, since I received the phone call and because it was too noisy to talk there, I moved closer to the entrance of the station. And so, when the explosion happened, I was not caught in its range," shaking off the gloomy feeling, he came closer to her.

"Don't look at me like that, I said that I was the lucky one," he said as he saw her expression that was in the verge of bursting into tears.

"But..." She hiccuped, how is she supposed to act if not feel sad when she heard this. He kept saying that he was lucky, but rather than feeling lucky he seems to be forcing himself to believe in those words. Although Violet doesn't know how to act around people because her mind simply blacks out when she does, she's someone who has read far too many books to count. Even though they didn't teach her everything about life, they taught her that many things aren't as they seem.

Someone once said that people who have the brightest smile are those who cried the most. Then what about people who are smiling all the time, who always look ahead with blank eyes... Eyes that cannot help but chase after past full of regrets?

"I'm here alive, with no serious defects. As a normal human, I could live until I'm of old age with no problems, so don't feel that sad. People caught up in that accident... Although it's sad what happened to them, it's the fault of terrorists, so you don't have to feel like it's your burden to carry," he continued but she shook her head.

'Just to whom of the two of us are those words directed at?'

He was telling that to himself, deceiving himself in order to be able to move forward. But why does it seem to me like you're stuck in the same place, Daniel? Why do you feel extremely sad as you smile at me now?

'You said ordinary human, didn't you? But you aren't ordinary, what wouldn't be a problem to ordinary people became hell on earth for you, isn't that right?'

"Well, although to escape unscathed, at that moment I lost my hearing for a while. I was alright later when I went to check it in a hospital, so right now I can still hear. However, during the last few years, my hearing has weakened a bit and when I went to check it out again, there turned out to be a problem. There's a chance I might go completely deaf in the future, but I can always get an implant before it actually happens." But implants could only help with his hearing. There is no guarantee that the headaches and buzzing in his head will disappear together with it.

"Eh? Then... No wait, how can you be okay and then not during the checks? Are those doctors doing their job?" Those weren't words she wanted to say, she could already guess most of this situation, but still... What if it has been discovered earlier? Surely something could have been done back then?

He smiled, yes, he thought so too at the beginning...

"I was alright back then, it was an incident that made my hearing worsen only after that. I told you that ice skating is rather strenuous on the body. Back then I was impulsive so I overdid my training," yes, tortured by the scene before the explosion, he wanted to lose himself and skating on the ice is what made that wish possible. But he overdid it and that's why...

"I am no god, so there are some things even I'm limited at. I got too tired and that moment, my hearing worsened again. It's not that I stopped hearing completely, it's just that there was an annoying noise in my ears that made my head hurt. I didn't think much of it back then, and went home like it was no big deal. After resting for a while, I was as good as new and tomorrow I could continue just fine."

'I am no God.'

Violet felt that those words were never meant to be spoken by this man.

"..."

But if that's all there's to it, he would have been fine now. He wouldn't have asked with such a painful voice to let him experience his love for skating once more if everything was fine, isn't that right?

"It was not fine at all. Every single time after that, whenever I got tired, the same time would happen. No matter how much, every single time I heard the same noise that wouldn't go away. To an ice skater like me, being unable to listen to the music I was supposed to skate to and dealing with headache at the same time, you can only imagine how it ended." His voice was on the verge of cracking, even though he had a calm expression on his face. His eyes were blankly staring ahead, even though his lips were screaming in pain those words he wanted to say.

What a mess he was at that moment, to Violet he almost seemed like he's already dead. Like a little child that had its favorite toy taken away, but was told to behave like a grown up. Behave, because he'll never get it back — but could continue to at least look at it this way.

"B-but right now and yesterday..."

"That is the thing."

The two's eyes met and violet gulped. Surely he doesn't mean what she thinks?

"For some reason, I can hear your music clearly. You saw me just now, I was so tired I immediately collapsed, but even so I can't recall when was the last time I heard music so clearly," he still has to check whether it was just her music or any other, but one part of him didn't want to check it out.

"That's... Say, you didn't hit your head too hard when you fell - is what I want to ask, but for some reason I feel like I should believe you," she finally gave up. Well, if she was in his shoes, she could understand why he wanted her to play for him. He genuinely smiled earlier and while he spoke, so she believed in his words.

Why would he lie to her anyway?

"Heh, it's a good thing you didn't. After asking me about it even though I warned you, if you told me that I'm crazy, I would've probably sliced your throat with my skates for real this time," Violet was amazed that he could say all that with a straight face.

"For some reason I really want to punch you right now. The more I listen to your threats, the more I feel like you remind me of someone," her eyebrow twitched while his lips tugged upwards into a creepy smile.

Ah, Daniel know the feeling. He felt like he's been acting childish sometimes with her, but there was really something about this girl that pulls the worst out of him. Maybe they were sworn enemies in their previous lives so the resentment from those times passed over with their souls or something?

He shivered. If that were really the case, that means that he had to rely on his enemy.

Just as he was about to answer, he was interrupted by the arrival of his pupils making him not know if he should be glad or sad about it. In any case, his thoughts were impossible and he's completely sure that he never made friends with some violent chili pepper like Violet.

"Coach, coach..." They began to swarm around him like bees in their nest, and he politely answered all their questions. One of the younger one that seemed like he was around ten or so years old noticed Violet standing by their side which perked his curiosity.

"Say coach, is she a new member of the club?" He pointed at Violet making everyone turn to look at her. Suddenly becoming center of attention, Violet began to panic. She was around Daniel who had a screw loose for so long that she actually relaxed and forgot about her accursed NEET-like social anxiety!

"Look what she's holding, those aren't skates. Maybe she's here to help us with music for our programs, you this." Another boy added, he seemed to be of the same age like the first one. He still had some of his baby fat left making him perfect weapon for his older brother when he was out hunting for girls. The fourteen years old boy next to him resembled him a bit, except he one was a bit skinnier than the younger one.

Touching his chin in order to make himself look older (that's what he believed to look like) he grinned at the younger duo.

"Hmph, you two are way too naive. This girl is, without a doubt... Coach girlfriend!"

"As if that's possible, ya' all are downgrading coach's taste too much. This is probably just his friend or a sister." The fourth guy who was also around fourteen spoke. He had this rebellious air around him and even his blonde hair had some purple color on the edges. There was also one girl by their side whose presence ddin't stand out too much, that simply said nothing and fiddled on her phone.

Violet who was thinking about how to proceed with this situation heard his words and for thousandth time today, something inside of her snapped. Adding Daniel's and his grandfather's arguments with her today, she was no longer to hold it in as she finally raised her violin case and hit the boy with it.

"What the hell, you brat! Whose taste did you say is terrible for liking me?"

Daniel who witnessed all on the side could only sigh helplessly. He seriously needs to make this creature a real woman before it's too late. Many think people at gatherings and pro industry are nice, but all of them are hopeless and rotten beyond salvation. Any of Daniel's friends is enough to tilt this girl to the point of attacking them in mere few seconds, and Daniel feared for someone at that party two weeks later if they manage to get on her bad side.

Not that he doubted his grandfather's abilities, it's just that this girl is seriously...

"Moreover why is there s problem with liking me? Shouldn't you question if the great me would even have this ugly madman in her eyes!!?"

...a lost cause.

Yup, she's a lost case.

'Sorry for giving you a mission impossible, grandfather.'

After bantering for the next five minutes, Daniel in the meantime got his more normal pupils and moved them to the further part of the skating rink, unwilling to have anything to do with this bunch of immature brats.

"Coach, aren't you responsible for our safety here? Why didn't you protect us from this violent woman?" The boy who got beaten by Violet, Mitch, spoke.

"I'm only responsible for injuries gained on the ice or cases such a bullying, however if you go and provoke a grown woman and she teaches you a lesson afterwards, it's naturally not my problem anymore," Daniel replied like it was no big deal.

"Coach, why have you abandoned us!?"

"Dispensable goods are meant to be disposed once they're of no use. If you don't learn your choreography by the next week, I'll hire her to beat you up again," again, Daniel didn't even bat an eye as he spoke making Mitch groan in frustration.

"Yeah, I'll always be up for the job," he turned to see Violet munching on some Oreo and sighed, but when he realized what she's doing, he frowned. Wait, where did she get them? She didn't have money and he's sure her violin case was completely empty earlier.

"Where'd you get those?" He asked and naturally took one before munching it in a corner together with her.

"I exported it from him to stop beating him," she shrugged her shoulders but said nothing to him taking her prize.

"See coach, that outright bullying!" Mitch, having found his chance, complained again.

"It's called retribution, Mitch. Cause and effect. Moreover, if I recall correctly, snacks aren't allowed here, so do two more rounds of warm-ups."

"Coach, that's discrimination!"

"No, that's punishment for breaking the rules," he took another and ate it one bite.

"But she's eating them too!"

"She's not a member of the skating studio. Rules don't apply to her," Violet on the side nodded to his words. If an outsider saw them at the moment, they'd think that the two knew each other since diapers.

"That's outright discrimination again!"

"Three rounds. She's useful to me, you aren't — it's justified discrimination." Again, Violet nodded like a good servant next to this demon lord.

"There is no such thing as justified discrimination, coach!" Mitch wanted to cry, but had no tears to do so. Why did he go and provoke those two devils?

"Then, natural selection."

For some reason, Violet felt really good seeing him roast someone other than her. Life sure is nice when you're a villain, alright.

Mitch finally gave up and went to do his warm-ups before Daniel added one more round.

The two young ones from before came to Violet then, having curiosity expressions on their face.

"Big sister, I'm Leo."

"And I'm Theo!"

"How about it, our names rhymes, right?"

"That's why we're the best friends!"

"Hey that didn't rhyme at all!" Leo glared at Theo.

"That's cause your sense of rhyme is too small!" He threw back at him and violet felt her head ache from their voices. What, what is this?

"Can you even say it that way, it makes no sense?" Leo threw back and Theo frowned.

"Because if we make everything perfect, it will make people tense."

Is it right time to escape yet? She glanced around and noticed a girl talking to Daniel in the distance. If Violet had to use one word to describe, it would definitely be "nerd". Messy hair pulled into two braids, freckles and big glasses... Without a doubt, a nerd. She wore oversized shirt and tight pants so violet couldn't see her figure properly, but from her legs she seemed to be better than Violet.

"Kids nowadays..." She mumbled. The girl seemed to shyly talk to Daniel about something as she fiddled with her phone and Violet simply shrugged it off. In any case, it had nothing to do with her.

But what is she supposed to do now? How long will this training last? If she knew, she would've made Daniel buy her entire stock of chips or something.

The last boy from earlier, who asked if she was Daniel's boyfriend came over to save her from the duo's pestering.

"Alright you two, don't scare our guest now and go warm-up. You got competition coming soon and if you lazed around, you'll end up like Mitch. Do you want to be like Mitch?" Both shook their head in unison and Violet wanted to get on her knees and thank this boy.

"Go now, finish the warm-ups in ten minutes, others should be arriving soon."

'Eh others? There will be more? Not just those five'

In the end, Violet found out that this guy is Theo's brother and called . Unfortunately for her, she's been tortured over and over again whenever someone new arrived and asked whether she's a new member or perhaps Daniel's girlfriend. The training lasted for quite while and since Daniel was one of people responsible to this place, he had to stay even longer. After all, this place was open for public after four and he had to keep an eye on kids and visitors here as it was his part-time job as well.

After seeing Violet sulk for a while, he decided to let he try skating as well, but her inability to move even a single inch without falling down was too amazing that Daniel had to stay next to her and make sure that she doesn't die or hurt herself. He couldn't make it without her music after all. Unbeknown to them, someone's phone was actively taking photos of them during the entire day with a nasty grin on their face,

Violet thought that they'll be staying her for an hour or two at most, but in the end they were the last to leave once the night fell. She really couldn't be blamed, she only came here twice and both times it was so empty that she though ghosts could be possessing this place, so she had no idea that this skating rink was really popular. Neither did Daniel, truth to be told. By the time it was already too late, there wasn't a single day that this place had lack of visitors. He guessed that it had something to do with his past, but most people who came here weren't here seriously for the sake of learning from him.

He absolutely had no idea that it was all because of a certain pupil of his and her skills on internet that this place is so overcrowded with visitors and women who came for the sake of "stalking" him. He also had no idea just what kind of drama will become of his life because of the video she took.