How To Fall Out Of Love With Your Brother’s Lover

Sorry!! not sorry

I couldn’t sleep that night, not really.

Every time I closed my eyes I saw the office door again, half open.

Him behind the desk saying my name like I was his designated mistress— and everything that happened after.

I kept tossing and turning on the bed. My lights were off but standing up from the bed, I went to the light switch and turned it back on. Unable to sleep, unable to make sense of what had happened between me and my boss.

I kept replaying it. His hands on my skin, his breath behind my ears, how he said my name, the way he stared at me, his hands as they cupped my…

No Mia, don’t make this into something it wasn’t. You cannot think about him, you must not think about him. That should never have happened, he was obviously not himself. Or was he? It doesn't matter, I let it happen.

He didn’t act like himself, he didn’t sound like himself, but somehow that didn’t stop me, didn’t stop us.

I had seen Rafiah angry before, he was cold,untouchable and stern. But today he looked vulnerable, like he was desperate to touch me, and desperate for my touch.

Why didn't I just leave?

I kept touching my lips subconsciously, “Omg I feel sick” I said

I checked the time again. 11:25pm. Barely 10 minutes had passed since I last checked it.

A notification popped up on my phone screen. It was a message from Dave.

“Hey baby, I'm sorry again that I cancelled dinner plans last minute, are you home yet? Or still at your team's dinner?”

“Oh shoot” I gasped, “Jamie!!”

I quickly searched for his contact to text him.

WORK BESTIE: “Hey Jamie, I’m sorry I blew you off tonight, I just got home, I completely lost track of time. I worked until I couldn't walk anymore, I was so exhausted I had to call it a night.”

Yeah, Mia, you literally couldn’t walk home.

“I’ll def make it up to you babes.”

“M— I called you a thousand times, it kept going to voicemail. It’s okay pooks, manager Emily seemed kinda mad you blew us off but i told her you were having relationship troubles so you're probably good for now”.

“I love you Jamie, you’re the best, see you tomorrow.”

“Xx kisses” he responded.

Oh shoot, I forgot to reply to Dave.

“Hey.., yeah the team dinner was okay, i just got home, wanna shower and go to bed I’ll call you in the morning.”

Mia you LIAR!!

“Okay baby, glad you had fun. We’re still on for dinner tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah sure,okay.”

“Goodnight, I love you Baby.” He said.

“Love you too, Goodnight.”

I turned off the light and laid down on my bed, but laying there in the darkness, my mind kept drifting back to Raf. My hand slipped underneath my dress, touching my belly button and going further down. The thought of him touching my thighs came flooding in.

I stood up and turned the light on again, pacing around my room. I couldn’t sit still, my body felt like it didn’t belong to me tonight.

Finally I stood still, facing my vanity mirror, staring at myself.

Maybe if I looked hard, I’d recognize the girl staring back at me.

What is wrong with you Mia?

It’s one thing to betray Lucas and Dave, It’s another not to acknowledge that it was a mistake.

They both love and trust me so much and somehow I managed to betray them in a single night.

A mistake that should never repeat itself again. Ever!!

God this is bad, I panicked.

“Aarrgghhhh” I pressed the pillow over my face. “Go to bed Mia,” I yelled.

By morning it would be nothing for sure.

That’s what I told myself, that’s what I wanted to believe. But deep down I knew it wasn’t true.